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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25789804">Friends in Low Places</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperanto/pseuds/Esperanto'>Esperanto</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>"faux" badboy!Blaine, (just to be clear this is both the text version and the podfic version of the fic), (sort of enemies to lovers), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Bad Boy Blaine Anderson, Bullying, Enemies to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Meet-Cute, Misunderstandings, Podfic, Podfic &amp; Podficced Works, Podfic in progress, Read by the Author, Romance, dumpster tosses, more like Meet ugly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:55:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>56,229</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25789804</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperanto/pseuds/Esperanto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kurt Hummel meets Blaine Anderson in the McKinley High School dumpster, he finds himself hopelessly captivated by the mystery of the snarky loner whose only companion is a pair of chunky black headphones. Who is Blaine? Is he the troublemaker, getting suspended for fighting? Is he sleeping with the school nurse? Is he Batman? Or is he just another boy who's been dealt a raw hand, trying his best to make it through high school? Kurt is determined to find out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>503</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>197</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Fancy Meeting You Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><strong>Podfic Notes:</strong> I am currently in the process of turning this story into a podfic. Audio files will be added to the beginning of each chapter as they become available. Enjoy! The easiest way to find out about updates to the podfic is to check my <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p>
<p><strong>Podfic Credits:</strong>Thank you to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/backslashdelta/pseuds/backslashdelta/works">Backslashdelta</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/pseuds/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> for being my beta-listeners. A million thanks to Backslashdelta for giving me a tutorial in the art and science of podfic creation!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Listen:</strong><br/>
<audio></audio><br/>
<em>(or click <a href="https://archive.org/download/friends-in-low-places-chapter-1-3-21-21-10.05-am-cut-4/Friends%20in%20Low%20Places%20-%20Chapter%201%20-%203%3A21%3A21%2C%2010.05%20AM-cut4.mp3">here</a> if your browser doesn't support HTML 5)</em>
</p><hr/>
<p>THWACK </p>
<p>Kurt’s landing is softened by a layer of garbage bags. Unfortunately, they do nothing to lessen the humiliation of being thrown into a dumpster like so much refuse. Again. He gives himself a minute to just lay there, looking up into the blue void above him, and put together the pieces of his shattered pride before he tries to get up.</p>
<p>A flash of movement. A dark shape crosses the blue sky overhead. It grows closer.</p>
<p>WUMP</p>
<p>Kurt lets out a groan of pain as the dark shape lands on his chest. Whatever it is feels much too solid to be a bag of garbage. The heavy lump moans in pain. </p>
<p>Kurt roughly shoves at whatever—<em> correction, whoever— </em>has landed on top of him, desperate to get the heavy weight off of his chest so he can breathe more easily. Whoever it is rolls easily off of him, giving out a yelp of surprise.</p>
<p>A head pops up and wide hazel eyes are staring back at him like a startled fawn. “What the—fucking hell—what are you <em> doing </em> in here?” he sputters out, clearly as surprised as Kurt to discover he isn’t alone.</p>
<p>“Having tea with Marlene Dietrich,” Kurt quips, because the answer should be obvious. No one ends up in these dumpsters by choice. Although, until today, Kurt didn’t realize anyone ended up in these dumpsters at all, besides himself.</p>
<p>The boy snorts. “What a let down. Who’d have thought she would have this terrible of a spread?”</p>
<p>Kurt chuckles and flashes the boy a rare smile. People do not usually get his jokes and this fills Kurt with a rash sort of confidence; before he quite realizes what he’s doing he has stuck out his hand. “Kurt Hummel.” </p>
<p>The boy smirks but he accepts Kurt’s handshake; his hand is warm and solid in Kurt’s. “Blaine Anderson. Fancy meeting you here.” He makes a sweeping gesture as if showing off a grand foyer instead of a literal heap of garbage.</p>
<p>“I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to seek some finer accommodations.” Kurt stands up and reaches out his hand to pull Blaine to his feet. </p>
<p>Blaine nods in thanks and then wraps the tips of his fingers over the edge of the dumpster wall, rocking back and forth to get momentum going. Kurt can see it’s hard for him to get a solid purchase on the smooth wall.</p>
<p>“Do you, uh, need a boost?” Kurt asks awkwardly.</p>
<p>Bushy eyebrows furrow over narrowed eyelids. He glares over his shoulder at Kurt and then propels himself forcefully enough that he’s able to get a leg up over the side, grunting with the effort as he swings his body over the top and then drops down on the other side.</p>
<p>“Suit yourself,” Kurt mutters before following suit; he only has a few inches on Blaine but they make all the difference. </p>
<p>When he lands on the ground with a soft thump, Kurt turns to apologize to Blaine for the unintentional crack about his height but his words catch in his throat when he sees the way the boy’s eyes sparkle in the sunlight. Kurt swallows thickly and tries again, but before he can get the words out Blaine turns on his heels and jogs off across the parking lot, toward the school entrance.</p>
<p>Kurt sighs and brushes himself off. At least none of the trash bags leaked this time; his outfit is a little rumpled but otherwise intact.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>After their bizarre meeting in the school dumpster, Kurt is captivated. Blaine actually knows who Marlene Dietrich is, after all. He is so used to tossing out pithy obscurities like that into the universe and getting nothing back, but Blaine not only understood him, he batted back. Who is Blaine? Why has Kurt never noticed him before? Kurt isn’t necessarily friends with the other frequently bullied students at his school, but they exchange knowing sympathetic looks; he likes to think there is an unspoken camaraderie among them. Yet, somehow, Blaine seems to have popped up from out of nowhere.</p>
<p>Now that he’s paying attention, Kurt starts to notice Blaine around school. It’s easy to understand why he hadn’t been on Kurt’s radar because Blaine doesn’t do much to be noticed. He has a quiet, brooding energy that invites neither attention nor company. </p>
<p>Even his wardrobe fits his affect. Most days, Blaine wears black or dark wash jeans paired with a graphic t-shirt. At first, Kurt assumes they must be concert t-shirts since it fits with Blaine’s standoffish persona and the constant presence of chunky black headphones over his ears or slung around his neck. Curious, Kurt tries to read the band name off his shirt one day but when he looks closer he discovers they aren’t band logos at all, just abstract designs screen-printed on black cotton. </p>
<p>Blaine is always alone when Kurt sees him but surely he must have friends. Kurt is about as low as you can get on the social hierarchy and even he has Rachel. The bossy brunette complimented his Alexander McQueen tie on the first day of Glee club so naturally they’ve been best friends ever since. </p>
<p>Kurt wonders what unpopular clique Blaine associates with. Fueled by curiosity, he scans the cafeteria one day, searching for a dark mop of curls. The grittiness of Blaine’s dress and the anger in his eyes is hard to reconcile with knowing that he’s the target of bullies, rather than one himself. Maybe he’s a stoner? Some of the jocks bother those guys, when they run out of other targets. Kurt doesn’t find him at a table with the juvie alums or the A/V club geeks. In fact, he doesn’t find him at a table at all. </p>
<p>After nearly a week of searching, he finally spots Blaine perched on one of the radiators in the corner, bobbing along to some mystery tune on those headphones he always wears. There is nowhere for another person to sit and with his music turned up, Blaine wouldn't be able to hear them if they did. Whenever Kurt sees him sitting there, he is alone; Kurt can only assume that that is by design.</p>
<p>Once he’s figured out where Blaine sits, it is like the spot is magnetized, drawing him in. It becomes part of his lunchtime ritual. Every once in a while, the corner is empty and Blaine is absent from the cafeteria altogether. He wonders where Blaine goes but does not look for him. He has never met someone who so obviously wants to be left alone. </p>
<p>Kurt doesn’t understand that, the wanting to be alone. He used to be alone but it was never by choice. Freshman year had been hard; Kurt didn’t have any friends but he had wanted them, desperately. When he found Glee Club, everything had gotten better. Even if most of them can't be counted as proper friends exactly, just by being teammates there is a baseline level of acceptance and group camaraderie. He has people to say “hi” to in the hallways and that is something.</p>
<p>Even so, Kurt still feels lonely most days.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p><em> Do bad boy loners usually spend time in the library? </em> Because Blaine is here and he even looks like he’s doing real schoolwork. </p>
<p>Kurt rarely ventures into the school library because he has a computer at home and doesn’t really see any other reason to use the library. Recently, though, he has discovered that it is a good place to hide. Bullies can’t really mess with him in here because the librarian is always watching and it is too quiet for a disturbance to go unnoticed. Kurt feels safe here, and that is a rare feeling for him these days.</p>
<p>At first, he assumes that’s what Blaine is doing too, hiding from whoever threw him into that dumpster. But Blaine is pouring over a book and scribbling down notes furiously in a composition notebook. His focus is laser sharp. </p>
<p>Kurt watches, somewhat entranced, as he scribbles, erases, scribbles, erases. All of a sudden, the notebook is flying through the air. Blaine has thrown it against the wall with a grunt of frustration. He runs a hand through his hair, glaring at the notebook like it has personally offended him. </p>
<p>“Mr. Anderson!” the scandalized librarian scolds him. “If you can’t be quiet in my library then you can find somewhere else to study.” She crosses her arms and gives him a stern look.</p>
<p>“Fine!” says Blaine, his voice rough. He dumps his books into a black backpack and storms off.</p>
<p>Only after he has gone, does Kurt spot the notebook still sitting on the floor. He looks around, wondering if anyone else will notice that Blaine has left it. The few students who had looked up at the commotion quickly return to their work once the excitement is over. The librarian has her reading glasses on, already absorbed in other matters.</p>
<p>Kurt sighs to himself and walks over to the notebook, picking it up. It is still open to the page Blaine was working on. Kurt doesn’t want to be nosy, but he can’t help glancing at it before he closes the front cover. It’s the worst handwriting that Kurt has ever seen; it’s barely legible.</p>
<p>Blaine’s math notebook is riddled with errors and misspellings. It reminds him of Puck’s schoolwork; although, Kurt has never seen Puck really put any effort into school. He turns in poorly done work because he can’t be bothered to do anything else. Blaine’s notebook is full of eraser marks and corrections, like he was actually trying. </p>
<p>Kurt doesn’t know what to make of him, the boy he met in the dumpster. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I hope you will let me know what you thought ❤️ Engaging with readers is honestly my favorite thing so don't be shy, leave a comment, ask a question...I always respond!</p>
<p> <strong>Thank you to my beta reader <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> for all your help getting me to the point of being ready to post!</strong></p>
<p><strong> Additional Acknowledgements:</strong> Thank you to Blurglesmurfklaine for reading and giving feedback on an early draft of this story. Your early encouragement was so helpful; thanks for being a great cheerleader! Good luck with your new job!</p>
<p><strong>Posting Schedule</strong> I'll be updating this story 1-2 times per week. </p>
<p><strong>Story Status:</strong> Story is not complete but I have 10 chapters written and done with round one of beta-edits. If you haven't read my last multichapter series (Express Yourself &amp; Love Yourself), then I hope you are reassured to know that both fics (each one about 100k words in length) were posted without a single missed update. Honestly, I like to post while I'm still writing because I find it aids in my writing process; I get a lot of energy and motivation from engaging with readers that I can then pour into the next chapter.</p>
<p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p>
<p>🌟Don't forget to subscribe if you want to keep reading🌟</p>
<p><strong>Coming Up Next:</strong> The second meeting.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Dumpster Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A huge thank you to everyone who commented or left kudos on the first chapter! 💞</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Listen:</strong>
  <br/>
  <audio></audio>
  <br/>
  <em>(or click <a href="https://archive.org/download/friends-in-low-places-chapter-2-3-21-21-9.49-am-cut-2/Friends%20in%20Low%20Places%20-%20Chapter%202%20-%203%3A21%3A21%2C%209.49%20AM-cut2.mp3">here</a> if your browser doesn't support HTML 5)</em>
</p><hr/><p>The second time they meet, it’s Kurt that lands on top of Blaine. He scrambles off as soon as he hears the pained groan from underneath him.</p><p>“We have to stop meeting like this,” Kurt says dryly. </p><p>“Fuck, I think you knocked the wind out of me,” Blaine says between rapid, heaving breaths.</p><p>Kurt isn’t really sure what that means, but Blaine is struggling to breathe so he knows it isn’t good. “Is there something I can do to help?” he asks lamely.</p><p>Blaine shakes his head, still gasping for air. His fingers are splayed out on his chest, like he is physically pumping the air in and out of his lungs. Kurt watches him, unable to help but feeling like he can’t just leave him alone in a dumpster, unable to breathe. It isn’t his fault exactly, but it also isn’t not his fault. It was his body that did this, even if he didn’t have any control over where he landed or how hard.</p><p>After a minute, Blaine’s chest stops heaving. He looks up sharply at Kurt and declares, “I’m fine.” Then he is pulling himself upwards again, lifting his entire bodyweight with his arms and leaping out of the dumpster. Kurt scrambles after him.</p><p>When Kurt falls to his feet, Blaine is already walking away. “Wait,” Kurt calls out after him.</p><p>Blaine stops and turns around, arms folded over his chest. “What?” he asks bitterly.</p><p>“I’m, um, I’m sorry.” To Kurt the words just sound weak tumbling out of his mouth, barely above a whisper.</p><p>Blaine snorts. “For what? You didn’t throw me in the fucking dumpster, did you?”</p><p>Kurt feels strangely off-balance, like he doesn’t quite have his land-legs. </p><p>“No, but… still, I’m sorry you got hurt. And—” <em> in for a penny, in for a pound </em> “—I wasn't trying to make fun of you the last time, you know? I really was just trying to help. Are you sure you’re okay? I’ve never seen that happen to someone before.”</p><p>“You’ve never been in a fight before have you?” Blaine looks him up and down, evaluating Kurt’s designer jeans and knee-length sweater. “No, I wouldn’t imagine that you have,” he says, answering his own question. He looks amused and Kurt can’t decide whether or not he should be offended; Blaine isn’t exactly wrong.</p><p>“I—” Kurt suddenly remembers the notebook. He’s been carrying it around in his book bag for a week, trying to find an opportunity to give it back. Whenever he sees Blaine around school he just seems so… unapproachable. “—I have something of yours.” He opens his book bag and hands Blaine’s notebook to him.</p><p>Blaine cocks his head to the side, looking at Kurt with curiosity.</p><p>“You left it in the library last week,” he explains. “Sorry, I meant to give it back to you earlier but we only seem to cross paths here.”</p><p>“Thanks. Now I can put it where it belongs.” Blaine takes the notebook and sends it sailing into the dumpster. He grins mischievously and saunters off.</p><p>—</p><p>The bullying heats up after Glee Club performs at the pep assembly. </p><p>SPLOOSH</p><p>No matter how many times it happens, Kurt never gets used to the bone-chilling cold of a slushie to the face. Chunks of crushed ice slide down the back of his shirt, freezing his spine. </p><p>Keeping his eyes shut tight, Kurt feels around in his book bag until he finds the clean handkerchief he always keeps in there for emergencies. He uses it to wipe the cold and the corn syrup from his eyes. </p><p>In the bathroom, he stands at the sink, washing the red from his face and hair.</p><p>A voice calls out. “I don’t know if you can see anything right now so I thought you should know that you’re in the girls bathroom.” It’s Blaine.</p><p>“Thank you, but it was an intentional choice.”</p><p>Blaine stares at him in confusion.</p><p>“It’s a good place to clean up in peace. It’s always boys that throw slushies at me and this is the only place boys won’t follow me. Well, not usually,” he says, eyeing Blaine.</p><p>Blaine is suddenly on the defensive. “I didn’t follow you…I just…ugh, never mind.” He turns on his heels and leaves.</p><p><em> What was that? </em> Was Blaine… worried about him? He doesn’t understand why Blaine feels accused of following him in. Unless Blaine really does bully other students too. Kurt had figured he didn’t, since he is obviously also being bullied. But, Kurt realizes, that doesn’t actually mean you can’t still be a bully.</p><p>Kurt misses half of math class cleaning himself up but at least he manages to wash out all of the red dye before it stains his shirt permanently. One more tardy and he’s going to end up with lunch detention but it’s worth it. </p><p>—</p><p>It takes Kurt an embarrassingly long amount of time to notice that he and Blaine have a class together. Perhaps it is because Blaine seems to float in and out of class at whim without repercussions.</p><p>On this particular day, Blaine misses half of their English class but hands a pass to the teacher like it’s no big deal. Ms. Owens examines the pass and nods, allowing him to sit down without further discussion. Kurt wonders what kind of pass gets you out of half a class period because he sure could use one. Apparently this kid can pull strings at a much higher level than Kurt would have guessed. </p><p>Blaine takes a seat in the back row and over the course of the lesson, his body inches closer and closer to the wall. He leans his chair so far back that Kurt is sure he will tip over at any moment. He keeps glancing back, as if just by looking he can keep Blaine from toppling over backwards.</p><p>By the last five minutes of class, Blaine’s got his feet up on top of his desk, ankles crossed, like a senior executive flexing his power. Kurt isn’t actually sure how he’s keeping his balance but he is. Still, Ms. Owens says nothing. She stands up and announces that tomorrow they will be starting a group project. Everyone will need to work in pairs. </p><p>Blaine groans loudly and immediately begins to protest. “I work much better alone, Ms. Owens. I don’t mind doing twice as much work. Aren’t there an odd number of students in the class anyways?” </p><p>“Nope, it’s 26 even. Now you have two minutes to find a work partner.” Blaine kicks the wall in anger but doesn't argue the point any further. Kurt’s eyes widen at the outburst but he says nothing.</p><p>Kurt looks around the room for a friendly face to work with but no one from Glee club is taking this class and they’re the only people who tolerate him at this school.</p><p>“Hey, dumpster boy,” Blaine calls out.</p><p>Kurt points to himself questioningly, as if Blaine might be talking about someone else.</p><p>Blaine rolls his eyes. “Yes, you. Be my partner?" He drops his voice. "Look, I’m only asking because I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t throw me in there and that’s more than I can say for the rest of the idiots in here.”</p><p>“Wow, flattering,” he deadpans. Privately, he wonders if he will regret agreeing to this partnership, given Blaine’s apparent tendency for minor acts of unprovoked aggression against drywall. “Uh, sure, we can be partners.” </p><p>The bell for the end of class rings, so Kurt scrawls something on a piece of paper and hands it to Blaine. “This is my phone number, so we can set up time to work on it after school. I have Glee Club after school today but tomorrow works for me.”</p><p>Blaine holds the piece of paper like it’s a used tissue he found on the floor. He stuffs it into his pocket without looking at it.</p><p>“After school’s no good for me,” he says flatly. </p><p>“Well if tomorrow doesn’t work then what about Friday?” Kurt offers.</p><p>“I said after school’s no good for me,” Blaine reiterates, this time with a slight edge to his voice.</p><p>“Seriously?” Kurt asks in disbelief. Blaine doesn’t exactly strike him as the type to get involved in a lot of structured activities or have a vibrant social life. Even <em> Rachel </em> doesn’t have plans after school every day and she is in an alarming number of clubs.</p><p>“I just have shit to do, okay? Just be at the library during lunch tomorrow, we can do it then.”</p><p>Blaine strides off before Kurt can even reply. <em> What is his problem? </em> Kurt can’t tell if it’s him specifically that Blaine dislikes or just the concept of working with another student. He remembers the way Blaine reacted to being told he had to work with a partner and tries to reassure himself that Blaine’s hostility during their conversation wasn’t personal. He decides the best course of action is to just be friendly, and hopefully Blaine will follow suit. </p><p>—</p><p>Of course, Rachel complains when Kurt says he can’t sit with her at lunch the next day before school.</p><p>“I have to work on a school project with Blaine Anderson.”</p><p>“Who even <em> is </em> that?”</p><p>Kurt has to think about how to explain who Blaine is to Rachel. <em> He’s the kid that dresses in dark colors, keeps to himself, and draws so little attention that I only noticed him when he literally fell into my lap. </em> Finally, Kurt remembers that Blaine has done one memorable thing recently.</p><p>“He’s that kid who threw a lunch tray at Azimio last week in the cafeteria.”</p><p>“Wait, you’re working with <em> him </em>? How did Kurt Hummel end up partnered with someone insane enough to try to fight Azimio?” Rachel looks scandalized.</p><p>Kurt shrugs. “He asked.”</p><p>“And you couldn’t say no?” she asks, perplexed.</p><p>“No I… I guess I could have but, well, he was actually kind of nice to me this one time and… I-I don’t think he would do anything to <em> me </em>.” Kurt stumbles over his words in an effort to explain the situation to Rachel, feeling rather ineffective about the whole thing. </p><p>He really isn’t sure what to think about Blaine, who laughs at his jokes one minute and insults him the next. He should probably dislike him, but Kurt senses fear behind his anger. Kurt and Blaine are very different on the surface. Kurt with his loud sense of fashion, Blaine with his muted dark tones; Kurt with his wide-eyed hopefulness that one day he may become popular and accepted, Blaine with his utter disinterest in those around him. And yet...under the surface there is something about Blaine that feels familiar to him. He can’t quite put his finger on it. Perhaps a certain guarded quality that Kurt recognizes because he sees it in the mirror every morning.</p><p>“Can’t you just meet him after school?” Rachel whines.</p><p>“I don’t know, apparently he has a very full social calendar or something. Look I have to go, you can survive without me for one day!”</p><p>“But then I’ll have to eat alone,” she wails.</p><p>“Just deal with it!” Kurt snaps, feeling exasperated.</p><p>“I bet he just said that to make you do all the work. I bet you’ll show up to the library and he won’t even be there.” Kurt wonders if she really believes that or if she is just making a last ditch attempt to keep from leaving.</p><p>“Maybe, but I’m going to at least find out.”</p><p>— </p><p>Blaine is waiting for him when Kurt arrives at the library. <em> So much for Rachel’s theory.  </em></p><p>Kurt sits down in the chair next to Blaine. Blaine immediately flinches and scoots his chair back several inches.</p><p>“Sorry,” Kurt mumbles. Maybe Blaine’s problem really <em> is </em> with him.</p><p>“Whatever, it’s fine, I just…” rather than explaining, Blaine trails off and changes the subject. “So what chapter do we need to analyze again?”</p><p>“I think it was chapters 10 and 11.” Kurt pulls out his copy of <em> Crime and Punishment </em> and starts flipping to the correct page. He huffs in annoyance when he sees that Blaine’s book is still closed on the table in front of them. Instead, he is fiddling with his phone and sliding his headphones over his ears.</p><p>Blaine closes his eyes for a moment and Kurt is about to start scolding him when Blaine presses the pause/play button on the side of his headphones and his eyes snap back open. “So, I think the line about the ubermensch is definitely important.”</p><p>“What the…what are you…huh?” Kurt looks from Blaine to his closed book and then back to Blaine again.</p><p>Blaine smiles a crooked grin at him and holds up his cell phone. On the playback screen, Kurt sees the title of the track he has pulled up. <em>‘Crime and Punishment: Chapter 10.’</em> Kurt snorts in surprise. </p><p>“Paper books are so last decade. Audiobooks are where it’s at.” Blaine presents this as if it should be obvious.</p><p>“Wow, what a bad boy; such a… bibliorebel,” he says sarcastically.</p><p>“Who said I was a bad boy?” Blaine raises an eyebrow in challenge.</p><p>Kurt shrugs, because now that he thinks about it, no one <em> has </em> said that “You have a certain… air about you.”</p><p>“Hmm,” is all Blaine says in reply. “Do you mind, uh, typing?” </p><p><em> And I was just starting to think that he wasn’t going to make me do all of the work. </em>Kurt sighed. “Sure. Now are you going to tell me that computers are passé as well?”</p><p>Blaine bites his lip. “No!” he says defensively. “But one of us has to, so…”</p><p>“So you want me to do it? Right. Typical.” Kurt doesn’t get as high of grades as Rachel, but he works hard enough that bullies have noticed and leveraged their power into taking advantage of that. It was too much to hope that things would be any different with Blaine.</p><p>“God, if you’re going to be so touchy about it then I’ll fucking type. Jesus!” Blaine’s dark eyes flash angrily at Kurt as he pulls out a laptop. <em> Wow, overreact much? </em></p><p>“Yeah, clearly <em> I’m </em> the touchy one. Right…” Kurt drawls, letting the sarcasm drip from each word.</p><p>Blaine lets out an exasperated grunt and Kurt can only make out some of the words as he mutters to himself under his breath, “Why...have to...so infuriating…...better off...”.</p><p>“Can we just get this done?” Kurt pleads, hoping to avoid all out conflict.</p><p>After fifteen minutes of tense conversation, Kurt thinks they have covered all of the important points. Blaine has been typing as they go, but the way the laptop is angled prevents Kurt from seeing what he writes. Every time Kurt tries to lean forward to catch a glimpse, Blaine subtly shifts the computer further away.</p><p>“I think we’re just about done here. Can I take a look before we turn it in, please?” Kurt leans forward to take a look. Blaine slams the laptop closed. </p><p>“It’s not finished. I need to, um, do some edits before it’s ready to turn in.”</p><p>“I don’t mind doing some edits, since you did all the typing. Let me just see…” Kurt reaches for the laptop but Blaine snatches it off of the table before Kurt can get it open.</p><p>“Don’t fucking touch my computer. Ever.” Blaine stands up and quickly slides his computer into his backpack. </p><p>“Sorry, I—”</p><p>“Whatever. I’ll send you a draft tonight. Bye.” Blaine strides off before Kurt can even say “bye” back. He sighs. Kurt has never been so confused by someone before.</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt checks his watch. <em> 9:00pm </em> . He checks his email. <em> Still nothing </em> . It begins to sink in that Blaine has fucked him over. With a sigh, he pulls out <em> Crime and Punishment </em> and begins to re-write their assignment from memory.</p><p>At 9:30 he takes a break. After catching up on social media, he checks his school email out of habit. To his surprise, there are the project notes, just as Blaine had promised. Kurt doesn’t know whether to feel grateful or irritated by their arrival. At least now he can go to bed on time. </p><p>On the one hand, he’s annoyed at Blaine for sending them so late. On the other hand, is it really fair to blame Blaine for his own lack of trust? If he had just believed Blaine in the first place, he wouldn’t have had to do so much extra work. He should really stop listening to everything Rachel Berry says.</p><p><b>Kurt</b> : <em> It wasn’t a set-up. </em></p><p><b>Rachel</b> : <em> This time. </em></p><p><b>Kurt:</b> <em>Don’t be so quick to judge.</em></p><p>Kurt shuts off his phone and flops back onto his bed. The advice he had sent to Rachel could just as easily have been for himself.</p><p>That night he falls asleep dreaming about a pair of dark, mysterious eyes sparkling in the sunshine.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <strong>Thank you to my beta reader <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> for all of her help with this chapter!</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p><strong>Coming Up Next:</strong> When Blaine asks for Kurt's help, he discovers a new side to him.</p><p>I'm hoping to have Chapter 3 up mid-week as long as final revisions don't take longer than I thought.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Nurse Gina</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><strong>As always, thank you to my wonderful beta reader <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> who has been an especially wonderful cheerleader this week and gave great feedback about where to add more details about character motivation.</strong> </p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Listen:</strong>
  <br/>
  <audio></audio>
  <br/>
  <em>(or click <a href="https://archive.org/download/friends-in-low-places-chapter-3-3-27-21-2.41-pm/Friends%20in%20Low%20Places%20-%20Chapter%203%20-%203%3A27%3A21%2C%202.41%20PM.mp3">here</a> if your browser doesn't support HTML 5)</em>
</p><hr/><p>Kurt doesn’t have many friends at McKinley, so when he’s not with Rachel he usually daydreams his way up and down the hallways. Sometimes, if he’s very lucky, he can even tune out some of the insults that come hurtling his way.</p><p>That only works if they don’t use his name, though. Rachel once explained to him that it’s because of something called the Cocktail Party Effect. He isn't sure why she knows things like that, but she’s a fount of odd little tidbits like that. “If you’re going to gossip about someone, even at a loud party, never use their name. People always turn around when you say their name, it’s like, programmed into us.” Kurt has never been to a loud party but he filed the information away just in case.</p><p>“Kurt!”</p><p>Immediately, he’s pulled out of mentally making over Rachel’s rather hideous outfit du jour and into his less glamorous, real life settings.</p><p>“Huh?” </p><p>“Kurt!” The voice grows louder and more insistent. “Help me clear the hallway. Now!”</p><p>It’s Blaine, looking at him with deep concern etched into his brow. He’s kneeling on the floor. Next to him is what appears to be the lifeless body of a fellow student.</p><p>“Oh my god, is she dead?” Kurt yelps, terrified.</p><p>Blaine lets out an exasperated grunt. “Don’t be ridiculous. She’s just having a seizure.” Blaine shucks off his black sweatshirt and carefully places it underneath the girl's head before he jumps to his feet. He raises his voice and flings his arms wide, “Back up, everybody. We need some space over here.” He sounds remarkably authoritative; Kurt is impressed with how people just go along with his directions without question.</p><p>Following Blaine’s lead, Kurt starts shooing people away on the other side of the hallway until they have cleared the area of students. </p><p>Rachel appears, halting in her tracks when she spots him. “Kurt, what’s going on?”</p><p>Before Kurt has time to respond, Blaine calls out to her from where he is kneeling near the girl. “Oh, good. Rachel, can you please get the nurse? Or just tell the first teacher you see to have her paged?”</p><p>“Oh, um, sure. Alright!” She agrees, slightly flustered by the request, before jogging away down the hallway. </p><p>Kurt didn’t realize Blaine even knew who Rachel was until now. The tardy bell rings and the hallway empties completely. Kurt briefly notes that he will be marked late to class but can’t bring himself to leave Blaine and this girl in such uncertain circumstances. This is clearly more important.</p><p>“Is she reliable?” Blaine asks Kurt, biting his lip nervously.</p><p>“Yeah, sure.” There is a reason so many clubs tolerate her presence; people may not always like Rachel but she certainly does know how to get things done. “That is, as long as it’s not going to impact her ‘inevitable’ rise to stardom.”</p><p>Blaine chuckles at Kurt’s air quotes. </p><p>THUMP. THUMP.</p><p>Both boys look up at the sound of approaching footsteps. A woman with a cloud of grey hair in a navy blue lab coat crouches down next to the girl, just as she begins to stir.</p><p>“Time?” the nurse asks Blaine.</p><p>He hits a button on his watch. “One minute and ten seconds.”</p><p>His response is meaningless to Kurt but the nurse seems pleased by his answer. Seeing Kurt’s confused expression, Blaine explains, “I timed her seizure.” </p><p>
  <em> How did he know to do that? </em>
</p><p>Turning to the nurse, he asks, “Nurse Gina, can we get some passes when you have a minute?”</p><p>The nurse—Gina, apparently—nods and helps the girl sit up, giving her sips of water. The girl whimpers and Blaine is immediately by her side, his voice suddenly low and gentle. “Welcome back, sleepy-head.”</p><p>“I fell,” she states. </p><p>“Yeah,” Blaine agrees, “but it was just a little one.” Blaine picks up the paper cup of water from the floor and presses it into her hands. “In a minute you’ll be feeling right as rain.”</p><p>The girl giggles and then echoes Blaine’s words back to him, “Right as rain.” </p><p>Kurt watches all of this in amazed wonder. He’s seen Blaine the Smartass, Blaine the Brooding, and even Blaine the Student. But this is yet another facet to the mystery boy; there’s a side to him that can command authority in a crisis as well as be gently supportive when someone needs him. He glances over to where Blaine is squatting next to the girl—Kurt doesn’t know her name—encouraging her to take more sips of water and speaking quietly to her in a soothing tone. This is Blaine the Protector. </p><p>The girl looks at him with such deep trust in her eyes that Kurt finds himself wanting to trust him too. Thinking that maybe he could be worth trusting. That maybe the person buried beneath all that armor is worth getting to know. Kurt swallows thickly and feels a pang deep in his chest cavity that he does not understand.</p><p>Nurse Gina approaches them and smiles. “Thank you, as always, for your help Blaine. And thank you too, uh…”</p><p>“Kurt,” he supplies.</p><p>“Kurt,” she repeats with a nod. “You two should be getting to your classes now.” She signs some pages in a notepad and rips them off, one for each boy. </p><p>Kurt and Blaine gather their school bags and walk down the empty hallway together.</p><p>“So, you’re on a first-name basis with the school nurse—who, by the way, I don’t think I’d ever even seen until today—and you know exactly what to do if someone has a seizure. What, is your dad a doctor or something?”</p><p>“Doesn’t everyone know Nurse Gina? She’s the bee's knees. Or, at least, that’s what I tell her every day. Flattery will get you everywhere with that woman.”</p><p>For a brief moment, Kurt wonders if it’s possible that Blaine is sleeping with the school nurse. He banishes the thought when he sees the comically suggestive eyebrow waggle Blaine does; it’s too over-the-top to be sincere. </p><p>Blaine points to the History classroom and says, “Well, this is me. Thanks for your help, Kurt.”</p><p>Kurt waves, still a bit dazed by the whole experience.</p><p>It isn’t until later that Kurt realizes he never got any real answers about why all of a sudden Blaine started sounding like an extra from Grey’s Anatomy.</p><p>—</p><p>“What’s the deal with that Blaine kid, anyways?” Rachel asks Kurt the following day, as they eat lunch together at their usual table. Rachel glances over her shoulder at Blaine, who is sitting in his usual spot atop the radiator in the corner, swinging his dangling legs and ignoring everything but his music.</p><p>Kurt shrugs. He’s been wondering that himself.</p><p>“Well, don’t you think it’s strange? The way he sits there by himself like that? Why doesn’t he sit at a table like everybody else?” Rachel asks, crinkling her nose slightly.</p><p>“I don’t know, Rachel. Why do you think I have a Ph.D. in Blaine Anderson all of a sudden?” he retorts, regretting the harshness in his voice almost instantly. It’s just that Rachel has hit a nerve. Kurt wishes he knew more about Blaine but he doesn’t.</p><p>“Well, you’re the only person he seems to talk to, so I thought I’d ask you. You don’t think there’s something a bit… off about him?” Rachel is clearly starting to get herself worked up and she clutches Kurt’s sleeve. “Oh my god, do you think he’s a sociopath? He could be sitting there plotting to blow up the school!”</p><p>“I’m confiscating your DVD of <em> Heathers </em> because it’s starting to put insane ideas in your head.” Rachel’s overactive imagination really does <em> not </em> need any encouragement.</p><p>Rachels smiles at him sheepishly. “I know, I know! Once the nightmares start, it’s time to take a break, but Christian Slater is just so <em> hot </em>.” Kurt raises an eyebrow at her and she shakes off the thought. “I still think there’s something strange about Blaine.”</p><p>Kurt is filled with a strange need to defend this boy that he barely knows and certainly owes no allegiance to.</p><p>“Oh, come off it. He’s a bit of a loner, maybe, but you should have seen the way he handled that seizure, Rachel. He was such a pro and… I dunno, he actually seemed sort of, well, nice,” Kurt tries to explain. “Have you ever met anyone worth spending time with who <em> wasn’t </em> a little bit different?</p><p>“Like us?” Rachel asks with a grin.</p><p>“Like us,” Kurt agrees. “He’s not weird, he’s just… unique. Normal is boring, Rach. Just admit it.”</p><p>“I suppose,” she agrees, albeit a little reluctantly. Rachel’s popularity isn’t much higher than Kurt’s, but she hasn’t quite given up on the aspiration the way that Kurt has. She glances over at Blaine again and when she turns back to Kurt there is a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “You know...he’s pretty cute, when you take the time to really look at him.”</p><p>Kurt curses his fair skin because he’s quite sure he’s starting to blush. “Was this all just your way of asking me to introduce you? Because you needn’t have gone to such lengths; all you have to do is ask, Rach.”</p><p>“I wasn’t talking about me, silly.”</p><p>Kurt fumbles around for words. “You weren’t—huh? You mean...me?”</p><p>“Who doesn’t love a handsome, mysterious stranger?”</p><p>“I don’t… he’s just a boy, okay. It’s not… anything.”</p><p>Kurt feels his cheeks burn, giving him away, and Rachel seizes the opportunity to tease him. “You like him! You have a crush on him! You want to have his babies!”</p><p>Flustered, Kurt sputters for a moment before finally coming back with, “That’s not…  biologically possible!”</p><p>Not his finest work. Not by a long shot.</p><p>—</p><p>Rachel doesn’t let it go.</p><p>“He’s looking at you, Kurt,” she hisses in his ear, loud enough that he jumps in surprise.</p><p>“Yes, well, this is vintage Marc Jacobs. I would be offended if he <em> wasn’t </em> looking at me,” he snaps back, brushing an imaginary piece of dust from his epaulette.</p><p>Rachel huffs. “Obviously, you look <em> amazing </em> by the way, but somehow I don’t think that’s it.”</p><p>“Oh, take off your Rom-Com colored glasses Rachel. I barely even know the guy. We just have a bad habit of… running into one another.”</p><p>Rachel raises an eyebrow at him. “One of these days you’re going to have to tell me the real story behind that.”</p><p>“You wish.” </p><p>Rachel pouts. It’s not that Kurt is embarrassed that <em> he </em> was in the dumpster, he tells himself. Rachel is his best friend so, of course, she knows about the dumpster tossing. She has helped Kurt deal with a wardrobe emergency or two over the course of their friendship. But he can imagine how he would feel if anyone else knew about it. Being treated the same as the stuff people have no use for is humiliating enough on it’s own; no one needs the added insult of everyone else knowing about it too. It doesn’t feel right to expose that about Blaine to Rachel, a complete stranger. </p><p>But when Rachel’s attention is elsewhere, Kurt can’t help but glance over his shoulder. There’s Blaine, with his curls ever so slightly rumpled from running his fingers through his hair. He’s wearing his usual pair of chunky black headphones, leaning casually against a bay of lockers, with his usual look of superior boredom. Then, he looks up and for a moment their eyes lock. A rare smile tugs at the corner of the boy’s lips.</p><p>A smile just for him.</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt thinks about that smile for the next two days. He knows that he’s being ridiculous. Really, this is all Rachel’s fault for putting the idea in his head. Yes, he definitely thinks it is fair to blame his busybody of a best friend who loves nothing better than to stir up drama where none exists.</p><p>And yet… he still wonders. Does Blaine want to be friends? Because he is smiling at him again from down the hall and that does not seem like his typical behavior.</p><p>Kurt makes a rash decision in English Literature one day. It wouldn’t hurt to have more than one real friend. He can’t help but need a break from Rachel sometimes. She can be… a lot.</p><p>So, on impulse, he decides to reach out in a time honored high school tradition: passing a note. </p><p>
  <em> “So according to Dostoyevsky, as long as I decide I’m the ubermensch ahead of time, I can murder Ms. Owens for boring the pants off me without doing hard time, right?”  </em>
</p><p>He carefully tears the scrap out of his notebook, balls it up, and tosses it onto Blaine’s desk one row over and two seats back.</p><p>But instead of laughing, Blaine just stares at the note with a furrowed brow before tucking it into his binder. He doesn’t even look over at Kurt or so much as smile.</p><p>Kurt sinks down as low as he can get into his chair but somehow he never actually manages to turn invisible. What a disaster! Blaine definitely did <em> not </em> think his joke was funny. Why on earth did he think this was a good idea? </p><p>Clearly his friendship skills have gotten rusty. Come to think of it, he never really had to try with Rachel. She introduced herself on the first day of glee club and kind of imprinted onto him, like a baby duckling. At first Kurt had been taken aback by her declaration that the two of them were going to be friends but in hindsight he is mostly just grateful to have a friend at all. And, apparently, she had also spared him the certain humiliation which he was currently experiencing.</p><p>Kurt doesn’t dare make eye contact with Blaine for the next two weeks.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>❤️Thank you to everyone who left comments last chapter; reading them is truly a delight and I appreciate each and every one of you. I'd love to hear what you thought of chapter 3! ❤️\</p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p><strong>Coming Up Next:</strong> Blaine gets in a fight.</p><p> <strong><span class="u">Notes:</span></strong><br/><em>I don't have a catchy name like "Esperanto's Stuttering Corner" but surely you didn't think you could read a multichapter fic from me and not get random essays about stuff I know did you? Submissions for a catchy name are now open.</em></p><p>Yes, the "cocktail party effect" is a real concept from psychology. It can refer to the way you can "tune out" background noise to focus on a conversation at a party but, "It may also describe a similar phenomenon that occurs when one may immediately detect words of importance originating from unattended stimuli, for instance hearing one's name among a wide range of auditory input." (Wikipedia). I got my B.A. in Psychology, is it showing? :P</p><p><strong>PSA regarding seizures:</strong><br/>Do *not* try to put anything in someone's mouth who is having a seizure. It can cause injury to the person and that thing you may have heard about swallowing your tongue is not true. At worst they might bite their tongue, which isn't as bad as you damaging their jaw by shoving something in their mouth<br/><strong>Additional notes on seizures: </strong><br/>Blaine's behavior in this chapter is largely based on how we were trained to handle seizures at my school. Any student in a school who has a seizure disorder will have a specific plan that all staff who work with that student are informed of and trained to follow. </p><p>What did Blaine do right in this chapter?<br/>1) put something soft and flat under her head<br/>2) did not leave her alone (that is why he recruited Kurt and Rachel)<br/>3) timed her seizure<br/>4) cleared the area of crowds so she did not injure herself and also to protect her privacy</p><p>We were told to always try to time a seizure if possible. With the students I have worked with, their seizure plan often involved taking certain measures if the seizure lasted past a certain length of time (whether that be the school nurse administering medication or calling 911). General CDC guidelines is to call 911 if a seizure lasts longer than 5 minutes. The school I work at is so small and seizures are common enough that our students are quite good at fetching the nurse, getting a teacher, or helping clear the hallway. They all look out for each other and it's honestly very sweet. Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, merely a humble speech pathologist working in special education. For more information on what to do if you observe someone having a seizure, the CDC has a nice summary page <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/epilepsy/about/first-aid.htm">here</a>here.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Survival Instincts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Listen:</strong>
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  <br/>
  <em>(or click <a href="https://archive.org/download/friends-in-low-places-chapter-3-3-27-21-2.41-pm/Friends%20in%20Low%20Places%20-%20Chapter%204%20-%203%3A27%3A21%2C%202.44%20PM.mp3">here</a> if your browser doesn't support HTML 5)</em>
</p><hr/><p>Kurt promises to call Rachel so they can watch <em> The Bachelor </em> together while trading devastatingly harsh critiques of all the contestants. It’s a guilty pleasure turned tradition at this point. Rachel skips off to one of her many clubs and Kurt heads toward the parking lot, ready to get home and unwind. </p><p>Things have mostly cleared out by now; he and Rachel stayed after school for a while, working through some math problems that neither of them felt confident enough to attempt on their own. They are both determined to end the semester with a grade that won’t hurt their chances of making it into college.</p><p>As Kurt steps outside, he hears voices. They sound angry. Dangerously angry.</p><p>Kurt freezes. His heart pounds in his chest. He edges closer to the corner of the building, careful to remain out of sight.</p><p>Finally able to make out what is being said, Kurt’s fears are confirmed.</p><p>“She said she wants to. This is none of your business.” Kurt doesn’t recognize the person's voice.</p><p>A girl’s voice responds with childlike enthusiasm. “Yeah, Bee. He wants to be my friend; I love new friends.”</p><p>“He isn’t your friend, Sarah,” growls a voice that Kurt can’t quite place at first.</p><p>“But I want to be,” the bully counters.</p><p>“Look, man...” Kurt suddenly recognizes the second voice as Blaine’s, “...I get that you think this is funny or whatever but she has the cognitive and emotional development of a twelve-year-old,” he hisses furiously. Kurt shudders. </p><p>“She looks plenty old enough to me,” the bully sneers. Kurt feels white hot rage burn through his veins and clearly he isn’t the only one.</p><p>CRACK </p><p>WHUMP</p><p>“Argh!”</p><p>“Stop fighting, Bee!” the girl—Sarah—pleads.</p><p>Kurt feels a strong urge to abandon the safety of his hiding spot but it’s as if someone has glued his feet to the concrete; he’s paralyzed by fear.</p><p>“Look, Sarah, that’s your bus.” Blaine says in a surprisingly calm voice.</p><p>“That’s my bus,” she repeats cheerfully. “Time to go home. Bye, Blaine! See you tomorrow.”</p><p>Kurt hears her footsteps fade. But only one pair.</p><p>“You fucking cockblock. You’re going to pay for that.”</p><p>“Do whatever you want to me, you sick fuck! Just keep your hands off of Sarah!”</p><p>“Why? Saving her for yourself? Oh, wait, that’s right; I forgot. Your tastes run in a different direction.”</p><p>SMACK</p><p>Kurt flinches at the sound of punches being thrown again. He fervently wishes that he had the backbone to emerge from his hiding place and stand up for something. He imagines the hateful words he would yell. Blaine would look over and smile at him, looking appreciative and impressed. </p><p>If only he were brave.</p><p>Everyone has survival instincts. Apparently, Blaine has the instincts of a grizzly bear, growling ferociously at the creature who dared to approach her cub. On the other hand, Kurt takes after the hare: terror freezes him up until he can neither move nor speak, heart racing faster and faster until it threatens to burst. His neighbor had a pet rabbit that lived in a hutch outside. One night an owl got into the yard and the poor bunny was so scared it’s little heart gave out from the fright. </p><p>So Kurt does not leap out from his position of relative safety to defend the vulnerable and disadvantaged. Instead, weak from fear, he slides down the wall until he is slumped on the ground, head against his knees, trying not to cry.</p><p>What was he thinking, imagining that they might be friends? Blaine Anderson may not have any friends but he still deserves one better than his own cowardly self.</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt has been too embarrassed about the incident with the note to try to talk to Blaine lately, but the next day he actively keeps an eye out for him. He just wants to make sure that he isn’t hurt.</p><p>He doesn’t see Blaine in the hallways during passing period and his radiator remains unoccupied during lunch. </p><p>When Blaine doesn’t show up for English Literature, Kurt finally concedes that he really is absent today. Even worse, Ms. Owens decides to assign them a new group project. </p><p>“Just work in the same pairs as last time,” she says nonchalantly. Kurt suspects she has a hangover and is too tired to deal with the chaos of allowing new partners. That, or the sunglasses are a fashion statement, but given the rest of the ensemble Kurt highly doubts that. Several students groan but she does not relent. She just scowls and drinks more coffee.</p><p>Everyone pairs off to start outlining the assignment. Kurt sits alone at his desk, feeling like even more of an outcast than usual.</p><p>Azimio leans over. “Where’s your partner at?”</p><p>There is no way he is asking out of genuine interest but what else can Kurt do but answer. “How should I know?”</p><p>“Oh, wait. You worked with that ret—” Azimio glances over at Ms. Owens, who is making her way up the aisle and thankfully changes course, “—with Anderson last time, didn’t you? Yo, I heard he got suspended. Sucks to be you, man.”</p><p>Ms. Owens stops in front of Kurt’s desk and clears her throat. </p><p>“Did Blaine really get suspended?” Kurt asks, feeling like he has a right to know if he’s supposed to work on an assignment with the guy.</p><p>“That’s privileged information,” she says, frowning at him. “I hope you have his phone number because your outlines are due Friday; late submissions will be docked 10 points, no exceptions.”</p><p>“Yes, Ms. Owens,” he says quietly. As soon as she walks away, he groans and buries his face in his arms. He hears Azimio snickering in the background.</p><p>—</p><p>To his relief, Blaine is back at school the next day. Kurt spots him tucked away in an alcove near some of the staff offices; an area students usually steer clear of. Kurt has found himself at this end of the hallway for that exact reason in the past; there is a sense of safety in knowing adults are nearby.</p><p>“Hey, Blaine?” Kurt calls his name loudly, not sure how loud Blaine’s music is turned up. Blaine’s head jerks up, clearly startled, but he slides the headphones off when he sees Kurt. </p><p>Blaine turns to face him and Kurt’s eyes grow wide as he takes in the dark purple bruising around Blaine’s right eye; Kurt brings his hand to his mouth as he lets out a small gasp.</p><p>Blaine’s hand reflexively reaches for the purple skin of his cheek bone.</p><p>“Does it hurt?” Kurt asks.</p><p>Blaine shrugs. “I’ve had worse.” </p><p>It’s a stupid question. So has Kurt. This is the boy he met in the dumpster after all. Of course he’s had worse. That gives Kurt an idea.</p><p>“Hold on a second.” Kurt rummages around in his bookbag until he finds the small green pot he is looking for. He thrusts it towards Blaine, smiling hesitantly. “Twice a day until the bruising fades.”</p><p>Blaine blinks a few times in surprise before he reaches out his hand to accept Kurt’s offer. Blaine’s fingertips are warm when they briefly brush against his skin.</p><p>“I, um, thank you,” Blaine squeaks out. </p><p>“Did you really get suspended?” Kurt blurts out. Seeing the way Blaine’s lips press together, he regrets the question almost immediately.</p><p>“Yes.” Blaine lets out an exasperated sigh. “Did you come over here for any particular reason or did you just need to fact check your gossip column?”</p><p>The barb stings more than Kurt would ever admit. </p><p>“I-I...yes, I just… no I’m sorry I didn’t mean to pry I...yes, um, Ms. Owens assigned us another project and we’re, um, we’re partnered up again, I mean, she said we had to keep our same partners so that means you and me so I just… came over to let you know, the outline is due Friday so I... but I wasn’t trying to…” Kurt trails off, cheeks pink with embarrassment.</p><p>Blaine gives him a wry smile, as if he finds Kurt’s rambling endearing rather than pathetic. “Okay. Sounds good.” He’s oddly calm.</p><p>“Let me guess. You can’t meet after school again, right?”</p><p>Blaine chuckles. “Right. Sorry about that; I realize it’s a bit inconvenient but it’s sort of the way of things in my life these days. Can we meet in the library over lunch today? Otherwise I can try to get to school early or something but…”</p><p>“No, lunch is fine. I’ll see you then.”</p><p>Blaine smiles and nods. The bell for first period rings. “See you then. Bye, Kurt.”</p><p>“Bye.”</p><p>—</p><p>This time, Kurt isn’t surprised to see Blaine waiting for him in the library, already getting to work. </p><p>“I can type this time,” Kurt offers. </p><p>Blaine flashes him a grateful smile.</p><p>They pour over the short stories they are meant to compare and contrast in their essay. </p><p>It doesn’t take long to establish a rhythm. Kurt is better at finding the right quote to support their thesis and Blaine is better at interpreting them. Sometimes Kurt is the one to point out when Blaine’s argument doesn’t quite make sense and other times it is Blaine who notices that Kurt’s ideas would fit better in a different place in the essay. When Kurt types, Blaine doesn’t just expect him to turn their conversation into an organized outline; instead, he makes specific suggestions about how things could be phrased and how best to structure their essay. </p><p>It turns out that Kurt and Blaine make a pretty good team. Some of their past interactions have felt awkward, but today Kurt feels relaxed and comfortable with Blaine. </p><p>“I think we have ourselves a really solid outline,” Kurt declares, feeling pleased. “Azimio’s going to be eating his words.”</p><p>Blaine frowns. “What did that assclown say exactly?”</p><p>Kurt snorts at his choice of profanity. “Oh, he was just being smug about my partner being absent. Seemed to think it was amusing that I would have to do the whole project by myself. But we actually got that done in no time <em> and </em> if I do say so myself, I think this essay is going to be top notch. So we’ll see who’s laughing then.”</p><p>“Let’s not be too eager to rub it in his face. I’d rather not go dumpster diving until my face heals.” Blaine’s tone is light but Kurt senses an undercurrent of truth to his words. </p><p>“I don’t get it,” Kurt says with a sigh.</p><p>Blaine cocks his head to the side. “Get what?”</p><p>“Why Azimio throws you in the dumpster. Or any of them.”</p><p>Blaine frowns and then crosses his arms. “How should I know?” he asks defensively.</p><p>“I just… it’s obvious why they go for me; I do nothing to hide being the most flaming of homosexuals, but you… you barely talk to anyone and you actually manage to dress inoffensively cool and, yeah, clearly you get in fights, or whatever, but so do Karofsky and Azimio and those guys are the ones doing the throwing not the ones being thrown. So, I just don’t get it.”</p><p>“Reasons are for reasonable people, Kurt.” There is an edge to Blaine’s voice; a warning that Kurt is too curious to abide.</p><p>“But…”</p><p>SCREECH</p><p>Blaine’s chair is sliding back, scraping against the vinyl floor, and then Blaine is up and gone.</p><p>Kurt pours over his words, trying to decipher them. ‘Reasons are for reasonable people’. <em> What is that supposed to mean? Is he really saying that there is no reason or was that just an excuse not to answer the question.  </em></p><p>Kurt sighs, feeling frustrated. <em> And we were getting along so well. </em></p><p>—</p><p>Kurt doesn’t know how to act around Blaine anymore. They still have to finish their project so Blaine can’t avoid him completely, but Kurt isn’t sure what terms they are on after Blaine’s abrupt departure from the library the other day. He doesn’t want to upset Blaine further if he is, indeed, mad at Kurt. But if he’s not mad, then Kurt doesn't want to accidentally end up being standoffish.</p><p>Kurt’s uncertainty is resolved later that day when Blaine waves at him as they pass in the hall. Kurt is so surprised that he doesn’t even wave back. <em> Idiot. Now he thinks you’re avoiding him. </em></p><p>After that, Kurt makes a point of keeping an eye out for Blaine, so he can be sure Blaine knows he honestly didn’t see him until it was too late. That is, if Blaine even gave him a second thought. <em> He probably didn’t even notice. You’re being ridiculous. </em> </p><p>Still, when he spots Blaine by the water fountain, he makes a point of calling out to him. “Hey, Blaine!” Kurt belatedly realizes that for once Blaine is actually having a conversation with someone. He feels embarrassed for interrupting them and prepares himself to be ignored.</p><p>But, no, Blaine’s head pops up and the smile he gives Kurt seems genuine enough. Then Blaine turns his body to face Kurt, looking at him expectantly, and suddenly Kurt realizes that Blaine thinks he has more to say. Kurt did interrupt him after all, of course it would be reasonable to think that Kurt has a good reason. But he doesn’t. </p><p>Thankfully, he is saved by the girl standing next to Blaine. She walks up to Kurt and gives him a wide, glossy-lipped smile. “Hi! What’s your name?” Then she is extending her perfectly manicured hand out to shake Kurt’s. It’s a little formal but she seems very genuine, so Kurt takes her hand and shakes it. <em> She must take good care of her skin. It’s so soft! </em> </p><p>“Uh, hi! I’m Kurt.”</p><p>“Hi, Kurt. My name is Sarah.”</p><p><em> Wait, this is Sarah? </em> The girl Blaine had described as being like a twelve-year-old? </p><p>With her perfectly straight blonde hair and her stylish clothes, suddenly Kurt can see just why that bully was so interested in her. She’s gorgeous and she definitely does not look twelve. She wouldn’t look out of place on the Cheerios, but Kurt’s never seen her hanging around Quinn or Santana before.</p><p>“It’s nice to meet you, Sarah.”</p><p>Blaine nods approvingly at Kurt. “Sorry, I know we need to find a time to work on our essay. I haven’t forgotten; I’ve just been really busy. I’ll text you or something, though, okay? I have your number.”</p><p>“Sure, no worries.”</p><p>Blaine’s eyes flash suddenly and alarm bells go off at the base of Kurt’s skull. He whips around to see McKinley’s star member of the track team: Trey Wilds.</p><p>“Hi, Sarah!”</p><p>Kurt recognizes his voice. <em> It’s him! </em> He’s the bully. The one who was interested in Sarah. He glances over at Blaine and notices that his hands are clenching up into fists at his sides.</p><p>“Hi Blaine,” Trey says with a smirk. “Nice shiner.”</p><p>“I got it taking out some <em> trash </em>,” Blaine spits out.</p><p>“Sounds like someone needs to be reminded of their place,” Trey says, all facade of pleasantries gone from his face. “I think we both know which one of us spends time in the garbage.”</p><p>Kurt feels a strong desire to run away but his feet are rooted to the floor. All he can manage is a step or two backwards, away from Trey’s terrifying muscles until his back is flush with the lockers, one of the locks poking painfully into his shoulder blade. He can retreat no further. Sarah is still smiling for some reason, nodding occasionally. </p><p>Blaine turns to the girl, his face turning calmer. “Hey Sarah, can you do me a favor?”</p><p>She nods, eyes bright.</p><p>“Can you tell Ms. Pillsbury that I’m coming by during 7th period today? I have a quiz.”</p><p>“Sure, Blaine!” she says cheerfully, before skipping down the hallway.</p><p>Trey glares at Blaine. He finally notices Kurt, despite his best efforts to melt into the lockers and disappear.</p><p>“What the fuck are you staring at?”</p><p>Kurt gulps and wills his lips to start moving, to say anything. Finally, barely above a whisper, he manages to stutter out, “N-nothing.” </p><p>“Damn straight,” Trey hisses back. </p><p>“Are you leaving or did you want to try to fuck one of us now that your first option is gone?” Blaine goads him. <em> Shut up, shut up, shut up! </em> </p><p>Trey’s face scrunches up in disgust and for a moment Kurt fears that Blaine has finally pushed him over the edge and he’s about to have the crap kicked out of him. Then, clearly too disgusted by the thought to even respond, Trey stomps off down the hallway.</p><p>Kurt lets out a sigh of relief, his knees buckling.</p><p>Blaine's expression softens immediately. “Hey, don’t worry about him. His bark is worse than his bite.”</p><p>“That would be a lot more convincing if I didn’t know he’s the one who gave you that black eye,” Kurt replies shakily.</p><p>Blaine has a self-satisfied grin on his face. “Yeah, but I’m not the one who got kicked in the ‘nads. Only downside of winning the fight is that I’m the one who ended up with the suspension.”</p><p>Kurt offers him a weak smile.</p><p>Blaine cocks his head to the side and regards Kurt with concern. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Kurt swallows and tries to shake off the vestiges of his terror. “Just wondering if your services are available for hire, you know, as a bodyguard.”</p><p>Blaine just laughs and shrugs off Kurt’s comment. “You could take him,” he says dismissively.</p><p>“I’m not brave like you,” Kurt admits.</p><p>Blaine smiles bashfully. “Thank you, but I’m really not.”</p><p>“You are to me.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <strong>Thank you to my beta reader <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p><strong>Coming Up Next:</strong> Kurt finally gets some answers.</p><p>Thank you to everyone who has been sharing their reactions, theories, and enthusiasm with me! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and would love to know what you think💖.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Guts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><hr/><p>“How do you become brave?”</p><p>Kurt’s dad looks at him in stunned, thoughtful silence. He gives Kurt a long probing look before silently patting the seat beside him on the couch. Kurt complies, settling himself next to his dad, legs curled up underneath his body.</p><p>“What’s going on, kiddo?”</p><p>Kurt sighs. He had hoped that maybe just this time he could get some of his father’s sage advice without having to spill his guts. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t like to share things with his dad, but in this case it was just sort of… embarrassing. Not once in living memory had Kurt ever seen his father afraid. </p><p>“I just… I have this friend who seems so fearless and, I mean, how do you even get that way?”</p><p>“Hey there’s nothing wrong with being afraid sometimes, kiddo. You know what happens to people with no fear?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“They die young. Fear keeps you from making foolish mistakes.”</p><p>Kurt pictures himself in the jungle, suddenly hearing a strange noise in the dark; filled with adrenaline he runs to safety. His dad has a point. But so does he.</p><p>“But… what if fear stops you from doing the right thing?”</p><p>His dad’s eyes grow soft and he places a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. The warm weight feels like safety.</p><p>“God, you just remind me so much of your mom.”</p><p>Kurt has to blink away a tear. Somewhere deep inside, a tiny spark of pride is fed. He may not be as brave as his dad but maybe he is something else, something he got from his mom.</p><p>Burt continued, “She always had the biggest heart.”</p><p>“Thanks, Dad.”</p><p>“But you asked for advice, and here I am getting sentimental. So, you want to be brave so you can do the right thing? Best I can tell you is to just keep trying. Helps to have confidence that the thing you’re standing up for is worth fighting for. I’m not going to feed you that line about bravery is doing something in spite of being afraid, because I’m pretty sure you learned that from Disney. In my experience, bravery is a combination of willpower and not caring so much about what everyone else thinks. Like most things, it gets easier with age and practice.”</p><p>Willpower, huh? Kurt could be determined when he put his mind to it. He just needed to find a way to access that quality at the right time. He wants to be more like his dad. More like Blaine. Next time Trey showed up, Kurt was going to give him a piece of his mind. </p><p>—</p><p>“Do you know how much CO2 is emitted into the atmosphere from cow flatulence? Kurt! It’s not funny! Just think of how much we could reduce global warming if everyone was a vegetarian.”</p><p>Kurt only laughs harder. The more intensely Rachel’s eyes blaze with sincerity, the more absurd the whole thing seems to him. He is nearly doubling over in laughter now, leaning against the lockers to keep himself upright. Rachel crosses her arms across her chest and pouts.</p><p>“Uh, excuse me?”</p><p>Kurt whirls around. “Blaine!” he says in breathless surprise. He clears his throat, suddenly feeling embarrassed by his conspicuous outburst the moment before. “Hi?” It comes out sounding like a question because Blaine doesn’t just walk up to him in the hallway to chat.</p><p>“Sorry to interrupt, Rachel, I was just wondering if you wanted to work on our paper after school today at my place. My, uh, my usual thing got cancelled so…” Blaine trails off.</p><p>“Sure,” Kurt says, desperately trying to sound breezy and casual but fearing that he sounds more constipated than anything else. He wonders, not for the first time, about Blaine’s mysterious after school activities, but he is no closer to figuring out that puzzle.</p><p>Rachel smiles a little too widely for Kurt’s comfort. “Well, I’m taking the meeting minutes for the Muslim Club today so I really <em> must </em> be going. Have a fun date!”</p><p>“It’s not—” he starts to explain, but Rachel is already gone.</p><p>Blaine just quirks an eyebrow at Kurt but says nothing. As usual, Kurt can’t decipher his thoughts at all.</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt had never given any thought to what he expected Blaine’s room to look like, but this isn’t it. The walls are hung with lovingly framed art posters. His taste is eclectic but Kurt thinks he can pick out some common themes. Blaine certainly has an eye for composition and bold line-work. </p><p>“This is an impressive collection,” Kurt comments, once he has settled himself on the edge of Blaine’s bed. </p><p>Blaine sits at his desk and looks up at his walls with a faraway smile, like he had almost forgotten the posters were there.</p><p>“Thanks,” he says with an unusually warm smile. “My mom shares my passion for art so we go to exhibitions whenever we can. For a while I would buy a poster of my favorite painting from every show, but I finally started to run out of space so I’ve had to be more selective.”</p><p>“That sounds really lovely.” Kurt tries to imagine his Dad taking him to an art museum but he can’t quite picture it.</p><p>“We have fun. I’m the only person who will tolerate how slowly my mom likes to go through exhibits and I enjoy her extensive background knowledge so we make a good pair.”</p><p>A pang of longing for his own lost mother wells up, unexpected, in Kurt’s chest for a moment. He breaks eye contact with Blaine until it passes a few seconds later.</p><p>“Is that where you go every day? Why you’re always busy after school?”</p><p>Blaine laughs and shakes his head, as if the idea strikes him as truly preposterous. </p><p>Blaine pulls out his laptop and launches into a discussion about their paper, leaving Kurt’s curiosity burning hotter than ever. He doesn’t push Blaine, though, choosing instead to shift his focus to the project. They are making good headway until they start to disagree about how to incorporate one of the quotes.</p><p>“I thought we were going to save that for paragraph four?” Blaine asks.</p><p>“Oh shoot, really? Let me see the outline again?” </p><p>Blaine reaches into the front pocket of his binder and pulls out a printed copy of their outline, stapled to the project rubric. Something else slides out too and flutters to the floor. Kurt looks at the torn scrap on Blaine’s bedroom floor.</p><p>“Is that—?” he starts to ask, but Blaine answers before he can even finish.</p><p>“That funny note you passed me in class? Yeah, it made me laugh so hard that I saved it.” </p><p>Kurt feels his shoulders tense up and his stomach turn to ice. “Don’t lie,” he hisses.</p><p>Blaine looks at him in bewilderment. “What?”</p><p>“It didn’t make you laugh. You thought it was stupid.”</p><p>Unbidden, Kurt feels his body curling in on itself, assuming a defensive posture. His arms cross over his knees.</p><p>“I…genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about Kurt, but obviously I’ve upset you somehow. I really did think it was funny.”</p><p>“Then why did you give me that <em> look </em> when I passed it to you? That look of <em> what the fuck is this nonsense. </em> I thought maybe you wanted to be friends but…I knew we wouldn't be after that. I felt like an idiot for trying.” He stops to catch his breath only to be filled with panic as he realizes the idiocy of having said all of that out loud. “It… it doesn’t matter. We’re just work partners and can we please, <em> please, </em>just go back to working on our essay and pretend this conversation didn’t happen?”</p><p>His chest feels hot and he realizes with humiliation that his eyes are burning with angry tears.</p><p>“Wait, so that’s why you stopped talking to me? Kurt…” Blaine’s voice comes out plaintive and soft. “Hey, look at me, okay?”</p><p>Kurt covertly wipes the wetness from his cheeks before he lifts his face from his knees just enough to meet Blaine’s honey-gold eyes, looking at him with such sincerity that he actually thinks maybe he won’t have to transfer schools when he gets home tonight.</p><p>“Kurt… I didn’t laugh because I couldn’t <em> read </em> your note. Not because I didn’t think it was funny.”</p><p>Blaine presents this with the seriousness of a personal confession, but Kurt is still confused.</p><p>“Are you criticizing my penmanship? Because unlike most of the slime at this school I have very neat handwriting.” It was a point of pride for Kurt. </p><p>Blaine starts to get exasperated, which is not the reaction Kurt is expecting at all. “Your handwriting is fucking perfect, Kurt, that’s not what I said. I couldn’t <em> read </em> your note! Why do you think I listen to audiobooks of all of our novels and lug this machine around all day?” Blaine gestured towards his laptop.</p><p>“Because you’re a tech-obsessed audiophile?” Kurt says, not sure what Blaine is getting at. Blaine’s hipster tendencies have nothing to do with this.</p><p>“No! Because I’m fucking dyslexic, Kurt. I listen to books on tape because it’s the only way I can read them and I have to use special software to help me write because my spelling is such shit.” </p><p>Finally, finally like a dam breaking, the truth finally sinks in. It’s the missing puzzle piece that makes all the other pieces fit together now, and suddenly Blaine isn’t a mysterious bad boy. He’s just a kid, struggling to get through high school as best he can, just like Kurt. </p><p>“That’s why Azimio throws you in the dumpster.” </p><p>“Yes, obviously.”</p><p>“That’s why you know all the kids with special needs.”</p><p>“Just call yourself Sherlock Holmes.” </p><p>Kurt wrinkles up his nose at the mental image of himself in a deerstalker hat. “I’d rather we didn’t.”</p><p>There is a pregnant pause and then the tension breaks when Blaine bursts into peels of laughter.</p><p>“You know, you really are very funny,” Blaine says with a grin, after he’s caught his breath enough to speak coherently. “I don’t think many people realize that about you.”</p><p>“Not everyone is sophisticated enough to appreciate my dry wit,” Kurt says, fighting the urge to smile. This is nice, having someone appreciate his sense of humor. Rachel has always tolerated his deadpan jokes but never particularly relished them the way that Blaine is now. Perhaps there is something to be said for having more than one friend.</p><p>“Can I show you how I finally read your note?” Blaine asks, eyes sparkling adorably with excitement.</p><p>“Uh, sure,” Kurt agrees, unsure where this is going.</p><p>Blaine bites his lower lip. “Sorry, it’s probably completely dorky to be excited about this I just… I don’t normally have anyone to talk about this stuff with.”</p><p>“No offense, but… do you have anyone you talk about… any stuff with?” Kurt asks, hoping he hasn’t just ruined their fragile peace.</p><p>Blaine just laughs. “Fair enough. I guess I do kind of… keep to myself. I talk to the resource kids but we mostly just talk about Disney movies. They use me to practice having conversations on—not that I mind—but it’s… different.”</p><p>Kurt nods in understanding. “I just have Rachel. And please, show me, you’ve got my curiosity peaked.”</p><p>Blaine pulls his smartphone out of his pocket and taps it a few times. “Okay, check this out!” He smoothes the wrinkles in the note so that it lies flat against his knee and then holds the phone over the note, as if lining up a photo. Then a synthesized voice is reading Kurt’s note aloud.</p><p>Blaine is looking at him, clearly waiting for a reaction. As if Kurt’s opinion actually matters. Maybe it does.</p><p>“That’s…what? I mean, how did it do that?” Kurt asks in astonishment.</p><p>Blaine gestures him over to get a closer look so Kurt kneels next to Blaine, leaning forwards to take a look at the app. The name, <em> Claro ScanPen, </em> doesn’t tell him much. Blaine pulls out their essay outline—long forgotten—and holds the phone over the page, clicking a button to take a photo so demonstrate.</p><p>Kurt leans in closer to see how the app operates—he really is curious—and with shock he realizes that his shoulder is pressed up against Blaine’s. The last time he got this far into another boy’s personal space, they had jabbed him in the ribs and called him a name he tries not to repeat, even in his own mind, but Blaine doesn’t move. Kurt thinks he hears a sound like Blaine’s breath has hitched, but he must be imagining it because Blaine doesn't say anything. The heat from Blaine’s body soaks through his shirt and warms the skin of Kurt’s arm. He feels incredibly <em> aware </em> of how close Blaine is and tries desperately to focus on anything else. </p><p>Kurt watches as the app processes the image and then the same robotic voice is speaking the words aloud.</p><p>“That is seriously cool,” Kurt admits.</p><p>Blaine grins. He seems… almost proud.</p><p>“Yeah,” he says softly. “It doesn’t always do that well with handwriting, but like you said, yours is so neat it had no problem. I don’t usually pull this out in class, though, because sometimes teachers forget I’m allowed to have my phone. Most stuff I can get on my computer but it’s good for things like restaurant menus or signs.”</p><p>Blaine’s face falls slightly, as if he feels he’s gotten carried away or admitted something overly personal. <em> Does he think I’m going to laugh at him?  I would never. </em></p><p>“I mean it’s not like I can’t order at a restaurant without it or anything it’s just if there’s like a weird ingredient or the menu’s in French or something,” he explains, sounding a little defensive.</p><p>“It’s really cool, Blaine. I had no idea anything like that existed.”</p><p>Blaine clears his throat. “We should get back to our paper now, so…”</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt feels lighter after his conversation with Blaine. Not only does it turn out that Blaine doesn’t think he’s an idiot, he actually thinks that Kurt is funny. He seems to enjoy Kurt’s company and he opened up to him in a way that seemed new for him. When Kurt looks at all the evidence, he can only conclude that Blaine actually enjoys his company. </p><p>Lying back in bed that night, he thinks about that warm spot of contact between them, when Kurt had leaned in a little too far, and a shiver runs down his spine. Maybe Kurt is just a bit touch starved, but he thinks it is more than that. Blaine felt so warm, somehow both solid and soft against him. </p><p>Kurt breathes in and thinks he even remembers how Blaine smelled; like soap and something else too. A feeling of longing washes over him.</p><p>
  <em> Don’t get ahead of yourself Kurt. You aren’t even really friends; not really.  </em>
</p><p>But Kurt is starting to believe that they are getting there. He thinks about how satisfying it is to make Blaine crack up laughing and how Kurt’s opinion actually seems to <em> matter </em> to him. He thinks about how hard Blaine must have to work just to do half as well as everyone else at school, all while trying not to draw attention to his disability. He thinks about Blaine and his mom wandering around an art museum some cozy Sunday afternoon for hours. </p><p>He thinks about Blaine’s perpetual loner status and wonders how things got to be that way. Blaine may seem a little gruff on the outside but he’s downright charming and easy to talk to, once you get him going.</p><p>It takes him much longer than usual to fall asleep that night.</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt meets Rachel at her locker the next morning, like he always does. She smiles conspiratorially at him, as if the two of them share a scandalous secret.</p><p>“So? How was it?” Rachel waggles her eyebrows.</p><p>Kurt just looks at her. He isn’t going to bother answering a question that confusing this early in the morning.</p><p>"Your study date! With Blaine!” she explains, a little exasperated. </p><p>“Oh my god, I already told you, it wasn’t a date! We worked on our literature paper, nothing scandalous.”</p><p>Rachel frowns, looking genuinely disappointed. “But you do like him, don’t you?”</p><p>“I—what? I—I don’t <em> know </em>, Rachel.” Kurt is too flustered to lie.</p><p>Rachel claps her hands together, positively giddy. “This is so exciting! Your first crush! We should have a sleepover this weekend. We can do facials and do one of those quizzes in <em> Seventeen </em> magazine to figure out if he likes you.”</p><p>“I… maybe, Rachel. Ask me again when I’ve had coffee, okay?”</p><p>Rachel huffs. “Fine.”</p><p>“Did I hear something about needing coffee?” an amused voice asks from behind Kurt.</p><p>Immediately, Kurt feels his neck begin to flush as he desperately wonders how much Blaine has heard. Kurt takes a deep breath to steady himself and then slowly turns to face Blaine, who has a cardboard to-go basket with four cups of coffee.</p><p>“Good morning, Blaine,” Rachel simpers. “How thoughtful of you to bring us coffee.”</p><p>“I didn’t—it’s just the rewards program and…” Blaine trails off once Rachel has taken her coffee and sashayed down the hallway towards her homeroom.</p><p>“Sorry about her,” Kurt explains awkwardly.</p><p>Blaine shrugs. “Coffee?”</p><p>“Are you sure? You weren’t bringing these for someone… else?”</p><p>Kurt knows how Rachel tends to steamroll people and he’s determined not to do the same.</p><p>“Nah, they told me my points expired at the end of the month so I figured I would load up and someone would want them.”</p><p>
  <em> So he definitely didn’t bring coffee specifically for me. Of course not, why would he do that? </em>
</p><p>“Well, thank you for sharing.” Kurt takes the paper coffee cup Bline hands him and gently ‘clinks’ it against Blaine’s. “Cheers.”</p><p>“So dignified,” Blaine teases.</p><p>“Always,” Kurt replies and then, surprised by his own boldness, he winks.</p><p>“I’ve got to stop at my locker before the bell rings but I’ll see you in Lit later, right?” </p><p>Blaine looks hopeful, like he really isn’t sure that Kurt is going to be there. Kurt smiles and nods.</p><p>It is only once Blaine has gone that Kurt sees the name scrawled in sharpie on the paper cup: <em> “Kurt.” </em> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to my beta reader <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> for all your feedback on this chapter! Glad you enjoyed Rachel's vegetarian rant.</p><p>For those of you who saw this coming, go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back. I applaud you and your sleuthing👏 (okay it really wasn't that hard to figure out but some of you had it by chapter 1, which I was not quite prepared for). More of Blaine's backstory and specifics about his disability will be covered in future chapters. </p><p><strong>Why are you writing about learning disabilities?</strong><br/>If this is the first story of mine that you're reading, you should know that I work as a speech-language pathologist with high school students so I will try to make things as accurate as possible, although I do take poetic license at times when it serves the story (and because it can honestly get exhausting trying to make everything hyper accurate when you actually have a master's degree in this stuff because like...I could go *deep* but that's what I do all day at work and this is my fun relaxation hobby.) Learning Disabilities is one of the areas I specialize in so I look forward to bringing my expertise and personal experience to bear in this story, although its primary purpose is to entertain rather than to inform. Blaine is definitely inspired by some students I have worked with, one boy in particular who I worked with for the past three years.</p><p>Also that Ryder plotline was completely shunted aside so... I'm going to do it better than Glee did.</p><p><strong>Claro ScanPen</strong> (not actually a pen! despite the misleading name!)<br/>If you are curious about the app I mentioned, you can read more about it on their <a href="https://www.clarosoftware.com/portfolio/claro-scanpen/">website</a>. The Assistive Technology specialist at our school was very excited about it a few years ago; I've never tried it myself because I'm cheap and didn't want to buy it so I can't guarantee the description is 100% accurate. It seems like a great tool for reading environmental text for someone with decoding difficulties.</p><p><strong>Updates</strong> I know I've been posting twice a week so far but I think I'll slow down for a bit to once a week to make sure my writing keeps ahead of my posting. It's been a bit hard to focus on writing this week.</p><p><strong>Coming Up Next: </strong> Kurt finally finds out where Blaine goes on those days he isn't in the cafeteria.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Falling</h2></a>
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<hr/><p>Emboldened by the coffee, Kurt decides to abandon his usual spot in Literature and sits down at the desk next to Blaine’s. They don’t have assigned seats necessarily, but by this point in the school year everyone has their preferred spot. It’s unusual enough that Azimio actually does a double-take when he walks by them to his seat. His body tenses up for a moment but the boy mercifully passes by without comment.</p><p>The warmth in Blaine’s smile makes the uncomfortable moment with Azimio worth it. </p><p>They are sitting close enough together that if Kurt leans over, he can whisper “Thanks for the coffee,” loud enough for Blaine to hear but quiet enough not to be chastised by Ms. Owens.</p><p>Blaine flashes him a grin and then turns to listen as Ms. Owens calls the class to order.</p><p>“Please turn to page 113 and read silently while I walk around to collect your papers.”</p><p>Blaine retrieves the printed final draft of their paper from his folder and sets it neatly in the corner of his desk. He then pulls on his headphones, presumably queing up his audiobook to listen along while the rest of the class reads. Kurt pulls out his own copy of the novel and tries to concentrate on reading, but he can’t help but notice a girl a few desks over from them keeps turning her head to glare at Blaine.</p><p>Kurt taps him on the forearm and Blaine hits pause on his headphones and slides them off his ears.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“What’s her deal?” Kurt asks.</p><p>“Huh? Oh, yeah, that tends to happen.”</p><p>“Doesn’t it bother you?”</p><p>Blaine shrugs. “It used to.”</p><p>“You realize this is where the whole bad boy image comes from, right? People see you doing stuff like this and think you get away with not following the rules, when in reality, you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.”</p><p>Blaine’s eyes widen slightly. “I hadn’t thought about it that way before.” They share a laugh and then Kurt looks up to see Ms. Owens has arrived to collect their paper.</p><p>“What’s this, Mr. Anderson? Does group work actually agree with you for once?”</p><p>“Turns out I just never had the right partner.”</p><p>Kurt blushes and ducks his head.</p><p>“I look forward to the respite from your complaining in the future, then.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sure I’ll find something else to gripe about Ms. Owens,” Blaine responds cheekily. Kurt is taken aback but Ms. Owens just shakes her head and smiles. </p><p>Kurt tries to pay attention during class, but he finds himself distracted by Blaine’s proximity. It isn’t entirely his fault; the boy does shift around a lot, each movement drawing his attention back to Blaine and away from the lesson. </p><p>Blaine spends several minutes straightening out a paperclip and then contorting it into increasingly complicated shapes. He taps his foot against the floor for a while. When he begins to twirl one of his curls with the tip of his finger, Kurt loses focus altogether. The hair looks so soft and Kurt finds himself wanting to reach out and touch one of Blaine’s curls himself. <em> What are you doing? Snap out of it! </em></p><p>“—chapter fifteen and answer questions 3 through 5. That’s all for today.”</p><p>Kurt jots down the homework, grateful that he at least caught the gist of Ms. Owens’ announcement. </p><p>—</p><p>“Good morning, Kurt.”</p><p>“Hi, Blaine!” Kurt can’t seem to stop himself from grinning like an idiot. Why does seeing Blaine have this effect on him?</p><p>“Coffee?” Blaine asks, holding up a cardboard carrier, this time just with two cups of coffee.</p><p>“Oh, uh, sure! If it’s not spoken for. I do need my caffeine fix.”</p><p>Blaine hands over one of the coffees. Their fingertips touch for a moment and a jolt of static electricity zings, causing Kurt to nearly drop his coffee.</p><p>“You okay?” Blaine asks, looking amused.</p><p>“Fine,” Kurt huffs. “I hate winter static.”</p><p>“Maybe I’m just that electric,” Blaine counters, waggling an eyebrow at Kurt. Kurt nearly spits out his coffee. <em> This boy is going to be the death of me. </em></p><p>Desperate to change the subject, Kurt decides to finally seek answers to one of the many questions that continues to plague him about Blaine Anderson. </p><p>“Hey, I’ve been wondering something. Where do you eat lunch?”</p><p>Blaine’s bushy brows scrunch together in amused confusion. “In the cafeteria. There’s this corner that I like—”</p><p>“No, I mean where do you go when you’re not there? Sometimes your corner is empty.” Kurt is too keen on explaining and reveals too much about his habit of searching out Blaine whenever possible.</p><p>Blaine gives him a knowing smile as if he had suspected as much and Kurt ducks his head in embarrassment.</p><p>“Oh,” he chuckles, “that? Sometimes I eat in room 207.” He shrugs and adds, “It’s quieter there.” Blaine gives him a penetrating look. “You can come, you know, if you want. Or not. Whatever.”</p><p>“Oh, um, o-okay. Today?”</p><p>Blaine shrugs. “Sure, why not?” Slinging his black backpack over one shoulder, Blaine gives him a wave. “Got to run. See you at lunch, Kurt.” </p><p>He’s gone before Kurt gets out, “See you.”</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt realizes that he’s never been to room 207 before, but the numbering system is simple enough that he has no trouble figuring out where it must be. It’s near the end of the west hallway, around a corner Kurt’s never had a reason to turn before.</p><p>The door to room 207 is closed and a clipboard hangs from a hook on the door. “Lunch Bunch Sign-up” is written across the top and names have been filled in for each day of the week. Kurt glances at today and is surprised to see his own name written down, in what he thinks is Blaine’s messy scrawl.</p><p>Kurt opens the door hesitantly, thinking maybe he’ll just peek in to see what’s going on here before he announces his presence.</p><p>A few desks have been pushed together to form a decent sized table, and a handful of students sit there munching on sandwiches and sipping from milk cartons. Ms. Pillsbury is there too, primly eating a bowl of green grapes.</p><p>Blaine waves at him and gestures him over, patting an empty seat beside him. Kurt takes a beat to inhale before striding over, slinging his book bag off of his shoulder, and settling into his chair. He feels out of place but tries not to show it.</p><p>“Thanks so much for joining Lunch Bunch today, Kurt!” Ms. Pillsbury says warmly.</p><p>“Oh, well, thank you for including me. I don’t exactly know what Lunch Bunch is but I’m looking forward to finding out.” Kurt’s voice pitches higher when he’s nervous.</p><p>Ms. Pillsbury tries to shrug off his question, “Oh it’s just friends eating lunch together,” but Sarah pipes up with the real answer, “At Lunch Bunch we practice our social skills!” </p><p>Ms. Pillsbury sighs. “Speaking of social skills, we have a new person here.” She makes pointed eye contact with some of the students.</p><p>A boy with close-set brown eyes leans forward and extends his hand towards Kurt. “Hello, my name is Vik. It’s nice to meet you.” It reminds him of the slightly rehearsed way that Sarah had introduced herself to him the first time and he realizes that this is clearly something they have practiced repeatedly. Kurt takes his hand and gives him a firm handshake. “Hi Vik, my name is Kurt. It’s, uh, good to meet you too.” He glances over to Blaine, checking that he’s doing this right. Blaine gives him an encouraging nod. Kurt briefly wishes that Blaine had briefed him about what to expect; he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing.</p><p>“Nice to see you again, Kurt,” says Sarah. Kurt smiles at her.</p><p>“Suni, do you remember Kurt?” Blaine asks the third and final student at the table. She brushes her long black hair out of her face and looks thoughtfully at Kurt. He realizes that it’s the girl who collapsed in the hall weeks ago.</p><p>“Hmm...no.”</p><p>“He helped out last time you had a seizure,” Blaine explains.</p><p>“Oh! Sorry, I don’t really remember that one too well but thank you for helping. If Blaine likes you then you must be nice.”</p><p>Kurt looks over at Blaine on the word ‘like,’ wondering exactly what Suni means.</p><p>Sarah giggles. “Blaine is very picky. He says why bother with anyone else when the coolest kids in the school are in this room.”</p><p>“He’s never brought a guest to Lunch Bunch,” Vik adds. “When you walked in I was like, Holy Tony Hawk, who is <em> that </em>?”</p><p>Now Blaine is definitely starting to turn red. “You’re exaggerating,” he grumbles, even though based on what Kurt has seen, Suni and Vik are right on. He finds it adorable that Blaine has told them they are the coolest kids in the school.</p><p>Vik turns to Kurt, “So, Kurt, what are your hobbies and interests?”</p><p>Kurt stumbles over his words, unprepared for the sudden change in topic. “Oh, well, uh I’m very interested in fashion, pop culture, music. On the weekends, I fix cars at my Dad’s shop.”</p><p>He sees the surprise in Blaine’s eyes at that final detail, but before he can ask, Sarah jumps in with, “I love music too! My favorite singer is Hannah Montana.”</p><p>“It’s her favorite show,” Suni adds on.</p><p>“Oh! Uh, what is your favorite show, Suni?” Kurt asks, since it seems like the right thing to say next.</p><p>“I like <em> The Voice </em>.”</p><p>Vik huffs dramatically. “I <em> hate </em> that show; it’s boring!”</p><p>“Vik!” Ms. Pillsbury chastises. “Think about how Suni feels when you say that.”</p><p>Vik looks guilty and turns to Suni, “I’m sorry I said <em> The Voice </em> was boring, Suni.”</p><p>“Thanks, Vik,” she says with a smile, and just like that the conflict is resolved.</p><p>“So, you know how to fix cars?” Blaine asks, raising an eyebrow at Kurt.</p><p>“Always with the tone of surprise,” Kurt responds sarcastically.</p><p>“I—okay, no that’s fair, I shouldn’t make assumptions like that. Tell me something else unexpected about you, Kurt.” Blaine smirks and takes a bite of his sandwich.</p><p>Kurt’s mind reels, not sure what to say. “I—I’m kind of afraid of everything,” he finally admits.</p><p>“Well, you’re not afraid to try something new,” Blaine points out, sweeping his hand through the air. Kurt looks around the room and takes in the entirely unexpected situation he’s found himself in.</p><p>“Trying new things is important,” Vik agrees. “You should always be flexible.”</p><p>Kurt nods, not sure why that would be relevant, but wanting to be a good conversationalist. “Oh, I am.”</p><p>Blaine chokes on his water.</p><p>“Of course you are,” Blaine mutters under his breath, sounding exasperated, though Kurt can’t fathom why.</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt and Blaine get an A on their paper. Kurt knows he has no reason to blush when Blaine offers him a high five, but it happens anyways.</p><p>They may not be project partners anymore but Kurt concludes that they have become friends. Kurt chooses to abandon his old seat in English Literature permanently in favor of sitting next to Blaine, who sometimes whispers jokes to Kurt when Ms. Owens isn’t looking and who will share a knowing glance with Kurt whenever Ms. Owens says something especially ridiculous. </p><p>Blaine stops by his locker in the mornings sometimes just to chat with him and Rachel.</p><p>Glee club wins sectionals. Things are looking up.</p><p>Kurt finds himself humming a song to himself as he leaves the building, just because he’s in a good mood.</p><p>Then he spots Trey and Azimio lurking by the dumpsters. He pauses, wondering if they’ve spotted him already.</p><p>But their attention is elsewhere.</p><p>Kurt is briefly relieved when he realizes he can probably sneak by until he sees who exactly has captured their attention. Then his heart sinks all the way down into his Ferragamo shoes. Because it’s Blaine.</p><p>Trey shoves Blaine into the wall of the dumpster and something inside of Kurt snaps.</p><p>“Hey!” he calls out furiously.</p><p>Three pairs of eyes whip around to face him, where he has stepped out from the safety of the shadows and directly into the line of fire.</p><p>Blaine shakes his head silently as if to tell Kurt he doesn’t have to do this. Giving him permission to walk away while he still can. But Kurt doesn’t want to walk away anymore. He wants to be brave. </p><p>“Leave him alone,” Kurt says darkly, proud of himself for sounding stronger than he feels.</p><p>Trey and Azimio exchange a meaningful glance, faces twisting into matching expressions. Kurt’s heart pounds in his chest, but instead of freezing him in place the adrenaline stirs him to action. He starts toward them but before he can intervene they have scooped Blaine up into the air and sent him sailing into the dumpster. Blaine tries his best to struggle, but with two against one he doesn’t have much of a chance.</p><p>Speaking of which, now it’s just Kurt on his own against Trey and Azimio. He gulps, not feeling great about his odds.</p><p>“I think these two deserve some alone time together, Trey, what do you think?” Azimio says with a sneer.</p><p>Kurt throws an elbow, trying his best to shake them off, but they are both too large for him. Then Azimio has him by the knees while Trey manhandles his torso.</p><p>THWUMP</p><p>Mercifully, Kurt only lands half on top of Blaine this time and he manages to brace himself so he doesn’t hit Blaine quite so hard. The landing is rougher but at least Blaine doesn't have the wind knocked out of him this time.</p><p>“You didn’t have to do that,” Blaine says with a sigh.</p><p>“It didn’t feel that way to me,” Kurt says, hoping he is explaining the way the emotions took him over and propelled him to action.</p><p>“You’re… you’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met,” Blaine says, it comes out as a whisper. Low and intense.</p><p>Kurt tries to push himself up so he can look at Blaine but pain shoots through his hand when he presses it into the flat metal floor of the dumpster. “Ouch!” he yelps, withdrawing his hand quickly and clutching it to his chest. </p><p>“Kurt? Are you alright?” Blaine asks, words laced with concern. Then he’s at Kurt’s side, helping him sit up and reaching for his injured hand. Hesitantly, Kurt extends his left arm for Blaine’s inspection.</p><p>But Blaine must not have been satisfied with his view because before Kurt knows what is happening, Blaine is grabbing him by the bicep and pulling him forwards until Kurt is half sitting in the other boy’s lap. Blaine either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care; he just cradles Kurt’s hand in his, fingertips ghosting over his skin as he examines the appendage.</p><p>“Did you land on this when you fell?” Blaine asks, brows furrowed together as he looks between Kurt’s hand and his face.</p><p>It all happened so fast that Kurt has to think about it. “I think so? I’m not sure,” he admits. </p><p>“Does this hurt?” Blaine asks, ever so slightly bending his ring finger.</p><p>Kurt grits his teeth together and hisses, “yes!”</p><p>“Sorry!” Blaine whispers, releasing the digit immediately. “I don’t think you broke it but it might be sprained. You should probably see Nurse Gina; this may need a splint.”</p><p>They fall silent. Blaine is still holding his left hand, carefully avoiding the injured finger but not letting go. Kurt feels tingles of electricity under his skin where Blaine is touching him and he realizes he’s holding his breath, as if the slightest sound might break the spell of this moment and make Blaine realize he hasn’t let go.</p><p>Blaine’s hands are warm and the skin is velvety soft; this is a million times better than bumping shoulders. This moment will sustain Kurt for an entire week.</p><p>Then Blaine’s fingers are moving again, but this time Kurt realizes that he isn’t probing for injuries he’s just tracing circles into Kurt’s palm and now Kurt can’t help but gasp. The movement stops and for a moment Kurt panics, thinking that surely now he has broken the spell and Blaine will pull away. He does not. Another moment passes and the circles resume.</p><p>Kurt’s head is swimming, dizzy and heady with this feeling. <em> Did someone tip over the dumpster? </em></p><p>Blaine pulls gently on his hand, drawing Kurt closer. Kurt has no idea where Blaine is leading him but follows him helplessly.</p><p>The other hand reaches for him—Kurt flinches for a moment before he reminds himself that this is Blaine, so he isn’t about to be hit—to cup his face, and then just his name whispered by rosy lips, “Kurt?”</p><p>Kurt knows not the question nor the answer, staring in awe into Blaine’s hazel eyes instead. It must have been enough.</p><p>Two eyes become one and then blackness as he closes his eyes when he can no longer see Blaine in front of him. Warm and firm, Blaine’s lips press against his own and Kurt leans into the kiss. Blaine’s thumb traces his cheekbone sending a shiver running down his spine and then he pulls Kurt the rest of the way into his lap. </p><p>Kurt wonders again if someone has tipped them over because he definitely feels like he is tumbling, wild and out of control but somehow not minding. Kurt takes a gasping breath, inhaling Blaine’s warm breath, and then the addictive sensation is back as his lips slide against Blaine’s, pulling and pushing and just feeling. His heart pounds and his skin is on fire. He reaches for Blaine’s shoulder, to pull him closer, but instead—“Ouch!”</p><p>Kurt pulls back, clutching his hand, having completely forgotten about his injury. Blaine chuckles and then leans forward to press a kiss to the knuckles of Kurt’s left hand, leaving him breathless and shivering again. “Come on, let’s get you to the nurse.” Blaine pulls him to his feet and helps steady him as he climbs, with one hand, out of the dumpster. </p><p>They walk in silence down the empty hallway. Kurt steals a glance at Blaine and finds that he is doing the same; both boys blush and look away.</p><p>
  <em> Blaine kissed me.  </em>
</p><p>“Do you think you hurt anything else?” Blaine asks, finally breaking the silence.</p><p>“N-no.” Kurt’s voice comes out shakier than he would have liked. He can’t help it; he still feels a bit like he’s tumbling head over feet even though his eyes tell him he’s walking in a straight line.</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>Blaine raps lightly on the door to the nurse’s office. They are ushered inside and Nurse Gina seems delighted to see them. </p><p>“I think Kurt might have sprained a finger.”</p><p>“You two haven’t been fighting, have you? Blaine I thought we had a deal,” she scolds. “Now let me see that hand, kiddo.”</p><p>Kurt obediently proffers the offending hand and waits while she deftly inspects his finger, bending it this way and that, asking him what hurts. “Bit swollen,” she notes, more to herself than anyone else. “Hurt to bend it?” she asks.</p><p>Kurt nods. </p><p>“I don’t have any proper splints—you’ll need to see your regular doctor for that—but I can make you something that should do just as well.”</p><p>Nurse Gina marks off the length of his finger on a wooden tongue depressor with a pencil and then pulls out a pair of scissors.</p><p>Kurt turns to Blaine, feeling curious. “I think I’m beginning to see why you know so much about first-aid. Just how often <em> do </em> you get into fights exactly?”</p><p>Blaine stands up and begins to pace the room. Nurse Gina snorts, which can’t be a good sign. Blaine glares at her, betrayal in his eyes.</p><p>“Look, it’s not <em> my </em> fault that most people suck.”</p><p>Nurse Gina just looks at him skeptically over the top of her glasses as she tapes the trimmed tongue depressor to Kurt’s finger with medical tape.</p><p>Blaine’s pacing intensifies. “Come on Jean Genie,” he pleads. “You’re making me look bad.”</p><p>Nurse Gina puts the finishing touches on Kurt’s makeshift splint and releases his hand. Kurt wiggles his fingers, please to see that his left ring finger remains straight and without pain. </p><p>Kurt looks up at Blaine, who stares back at him with uncertainty. It reminds him of the soft, vulnerable side to Blaine he had seen for the first and only time in his bedroom, when Blaine had explained about his dyslexia.</p><p>It hits him that Blaine really cares what Kurt thinks of him. It fills him up, this knowledge. He isn’t used to people seeking his approval. Rachel has always just assumed that she has it and no one else cares one way or the other. Until now. Until Blaine.</p><p>Kurt just holds up his splinted hand and says, “It would be a bit hypocritical of me to judge you for fighting, given recent events.”</p><p>Blaine lets out a forced laugh that ineffectively covers up a very real smile.</p><p>Kurt feels a strange sense of power. His opinions have weight and that gives him the power to wield them for good. He can reassure or he can cut others down.</p><p>Nurse Gina sends them on their way. Blaine walks him to his car, silence falling over them again. But Kurt can feel the secret little glances that keep coming his way from Blaine, time and time again. </p><p>“I’ll, um, I’ll call you. To, uh, to check on your hand, I mean. Uh… bye.”</p><p>Blaine sounds flustered. Blaine sounds flustered and Kurt is pretty sure it is because of him. Because of the searing kiss they shared in a godforsaken dumpster of all places. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong>Credits: </strong>Thank you as always to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> for providing so many insightful comments that really make me think about why I've written the story the way I have and when to add moments of introspection. New this chapter, I'm welcoming <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> back to Team Esperanto. She fielded a lot of early questions (such as "should they have their first kiss in the dumpster or is that too much?") and uncertainties I had about this story and then had the audacity to get an awesome new job that took a bit more of her time but now that things have settled down I'm delighted to have her back! I don't know what I did to be so lucky as to have both of these lovely humans helping me with my story!</p><p><strong>References &amp; Sundries:</strong><br/>"Holy Tony Hawk" is a direct quote from a student I worked with a few years ago. He was always coming up with his own exclamations like this (I also remember him saying "Holy arson!" and "Holy highlighters!") which never ceased to amuse me. </p><p>The line about being "flexible" is a concept that comes from <a href="https://www.socialthinking.com/">Social Thinking</a>. 'Social Thinking' was founded by an amazing speech-language pathologist named Michelle Garcia Winner who I've had the pleasure of seeing speak on several occasions; she is truly remarkable. They have this whole superhero themed social curriculum called "Superflex." To explain briefly (hah! yes I know this is not my strong suit), this has nothing to do with physical flexibility --I hope that was obvious to everyone besides Kurt--but rather cognitive flexibility. A lot of the students I work with tend to be very routine-oriented and rigid so they often struggle and become upset anytime things don't go the way they expect or something about their routine gets thrown off.  It's basically about learning to be okay with change and also just improving your ability to consider multiple interpretations and perspectives on a situation. Once students have had a lot of this type of coaching and modeling from staff, some will start to use it themselves as a sort of self-talk. </p><p><strong>Reader Question: What are "resource kids"? </strong><br/>"Resource kids" would basically be shorthand for "kids who receive resource services at school." So it is a subgroup of kids within special education who are primarily attending general education classes rather than primarily in a "self-contained" special education classroom. So Blaine is a "resource kid" in that he would visit the "resource room" and likely has a class period called "resource" on his schedule where he can go specifically to the resource room (room 207) to get extra help from Ms. Pillsbury (his resource teacher) with his schoolwork or work on specific skills with her. If you think about the meaning of the word resource, it kind of makes sense? Like, that teacher is there as a resource for kids as they may need it. So it's more a place kids drop in and out of as they need to or as they have scheduled time there. If you haven't figured this out by now, that's where Blaine disappears to when he mysteriously has notes that get him out of class. </p><p>Wikipedia also had a good explanation:<br/>"A resource room is a remedial classroom in a school where at-risk students and students with educational disabilities, such as specific learning disabilities, are given direct, specialized instruction and academic remediation and assistance with homework and related assignments as individuals or in groups. Resource rooms are learning spaces where a special education teacher instructs and assists students identified with a disability. These classrooms are staffed by special education teachers and sometimes paraprofessionals. The number of students in a resource room at a specific time varies, but typically consists of at most five students per instructor. Mainstreaming in education typically includes this service to students with special needs."</p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p>As always, I treasure your comments! Feel free to ask questions about anything in the notes or in the story!</p><p><strong>Coming Up Next:</strong> Phone calls and ice cream</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. A Yacht for Batman</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here is an early update in case anyone needs something cute and fluffy after hearing such sad news. RBG was an inspiration.</p><p>I was going to come up with a less insane chapter title but now... it makes me giggle and I figure we could use that right now, so it stays.</p><p><strong>Podfic Listeners</strong> I hope you enjoy this chapter and please consider taking a moment to comment! I always respond and it definitely motivates me to keep going.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Listen:</strong><br/>
<audio></audio><br/>
<em>(or click <a href="https://archive.org/download/friends-in-low-places-chapter-7-4-10-21-9.40-pm/Friends%20in%20Low%20Places%20-%20Chapter%207%20-%204%3A10%3A21%2C%209.40%20PM.mp3">here</a> if your browser doesn't support HTML 5)</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Kurt finds a sweater with trailing sleeves to hide his injured hand; his father will ask more questions than he feels up to dealing with at the moment. He does his best to keep his tone casual through dinner, but even so Burt asks how he’s doing a few extra times.</p><p>He startles when his phone vibrates in his back pocket and his dad frowns when he pulls it out to check the caller ID. He knows better than to take calls during dinner but he can’t help it; it could be Blaine.</p><p>Of course, it isn’t Blaine; it’s just Rachel who is easily sent to voicemail. “Sorry, Dad. I, uh, thought it might be my project partner; we have a big deadline coming up and I want to do my part.”</p><p>Burt grunts his acknowledgement. “What’s she like?” he asks conversationally.</p><p>“Male,” Kurt quips. “He’s—” Kurt considers for a moment before coming up with “—quiet.”</p><p>“Want to watch the game with me tonight?” Burt asks, though they both know what the answer will be before Kurt responds. “No, thanks. I have homework.” <em> And a phone call. </em></p><p>After dinner, Kurt escapes to his bedroom, where he flops back onto the bedspread to finally replay the very strange day he’s had. He still has that feeling, like he’s tumbling down a hill in a dumpster, dizzy and disoriented. </p><p>“Blaine kissed you,” he whispers to his pillows.</p><p>He really does have homework so after he checks three times that his phone volume is turned up, he pulls out his math textbook and tries to concentrate. It works a little too well so when his phone finally rings, Kurt is so startled that he knocks it to the floor.</p><p>CLATTER</p><p>His phone ricochets off the leg of his chair and skitters under his dresser; Kurt dives on to the floor to retrieve it, eager not to miss Blaine’s call.</p><p>“Hello?” he pants.</p><p>“Hi, Kurt. It’s Blaine. Did I, uh, catch you at a bad time?”</p><p>“No, I uh, sorry I— ” he pants a few more times, trying to catch his breath “— dropped my phone that’s all.”</p><p>“Not having the most coordinated day, huh?” Blaine teases lightly.</p><p>“Hey!” Kurt protests. “I wasn’t being uncoordinated when I sprained my finger; I was trying not to crush you! You’re welcome, by the way.”</p><p>“Wait, really?”</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes before remembering Blaine can’t see him. “Yes, really.”</p><p>“I...you didn’t have to but...I mean, thank you. So, how is your hand?”</p><p>Kurt stares down at his hand before remembering Blaine’s stated reason for planning to call. “It’s fine. Thanks for suggesting I go to the nurse; the splint is really helping. It doesn’t really hurt unless it gets jostled.”</p><p>“Oh, good. I’m glad it’s not bothering you too much. If that changes, I’d recommend icing it.”</p><p>“So, exactly how accident prone are you?” Kurt asks, his tone playful. “You sure knew a lot about how to care for a sprained finger.” Blaine started it by teasing him about being uncoordinated so it only seems fair.</p><p>Blaine laughs and Kurt is pleased to see that he’s correct, especially given how defensive Blaine can get sometimes. </p><p>“Guilty as charged,” he confesses. “Although, anyone can shut their finger in the car door. That’s just bad luck.”</p><p>Kurt winces at the mental image. “Ooh! That sounds painful.”</p><p>“Hurt like a bitch. I cried like one too. I didn’t stop wailing until my Mom managed to get me to the museum cafe and my hand into a cup of ice.”</p><p>“Aww, poor Blaine!”</p><p>“Eh, the barista was cute and I got a free italian ice so it wasn’t a total loss.”</p><p>Kurt snorts. </p><p>“Hang on,” Blaine says suddenly. Kurt hears a muffled sound, as if Blaine has put his hand over the receiver. He sighs. “Kurt, I’m sorry, but I have to go. My mom is bugging me about getting homework finished and unfortunately she’s right.”</p><p>“Oh, sure, of course.” Kurt tries not to let disappointment creep into his voice. “I, um, thanks for calling. I—it was fun talking with you.”</p><p>“I said I would, didn’t I?” Blaine pauses. “I like talking with you too, Kurt. And...I don’t like talking to most people so, you know, you should take that as a compliment.”</p><p>
  <em> Do you like kissing most people? </em>
</p><p>“I—thanks. I, um, I will.”</p><p>“Good night, Kurt.”</p><p>“Good night.”</p><p>The phone clicks off softly; Kurt holds it gently to his chest for a few minutes before powering it down for the night. He falls asleep with a smile on his face.</p><p>—</p><p>“You had better have a good excuse for not returning my call last night, Kurt Hummel!”</p><p>Kurt closes his locker to find Rachel’s face alarmingly close, brown eyes flashing with intensity.</p><p>“Good morning to you too, Rachel,” he says coolly. </p><p>“So, is it true? You left me in suspense all night, Kurt, come on just tell me.”</p><p><em> I really should have listened to that voicemail. </em> “Um, tell you what?”</p><p>“I heard the rumors, Kurt, and as your best friend I’m frankly offended that I had to hear about it from someone else.”</p><p>Kurt begins to panic internally. How can there be a rumor about him and Blaine already? It doesn’t seem possible that someone saw them kissing, given the location. Unless...<em> did Blaine brag about kissing me? I’m going to kill him! </em></p><p>“R-rumor?” he squeaks. “What rumor?”</p><p>Rachel frowns. “Look, I’m not the one who said this so please don’t shoot the messenger, but… I guess Azimio was telling anyone on the football team who would listen that you punch like a girl.”</p><p>Kurt exhales a sigh of relief. “Oh, that’s ridiculous! It was two against one.”</p><p>“Oh my god, Kurt! So you <em> did </em> get in a fight?” Rachel’s voice is starting to get loud and Kurt looks around, worried they will be overheard. He hasn’t gotten in trouble for the fight and he would like to keep it that way.</p><p>“Yes, but please keep it down.” Kurt grabs on to her wrist and pulls her into a nearby alcove for greater privacy.</p><p>“I can’t <em> believe </em> this, Kurt! I feel like I don’t even know who you are. This is all that Blaine Anderson’s doing, no doubt; I don’t think I like the way he’s rubbing off on you.”</p><p>Kurt makes a small choking sound as, unbidden, a sense memory of Blaine’s thumb softly tracing the line of his cheekbone flashes over him. </p><p>“You had better hope your father never catches wind that you’ve been starting fights at school, Kurt.” Rachel crosses her arms and looks at him disapprovingly.</p><p>“First of all, he doesn’t know and it’s going to stay that way because my best friend would never betray my trust like that,” he gives her a strong, meaningful look, “and second, I didn’t start the fight.”</p><p>Rachel is in full gossip mode now. “Well, I heard that Trey invited Sarah Watkins to the movies, but Blaine got jealous and you both attacked him and Azimio.”</p><p>Kurt snorts. “That’s insane! Blaine isn’t interested in Sarah like that; he’s trying to protect her from those guys.”</p><p>“He can’t have a crush on Trey, right? I mean… surely he has better taste than that.” Rachel wrinkles her nose in disgust. Kurt suddenly wants to brag that he’s actually the one that Blaine likes—or at least the one that Blaine kissed. It doesn’t seem like the right time; Rachel still seems suspicious of Blaine’s intentions.</p><p>“Dear god, no. As far as I can tell, Blaine hates both of those guys and the feeling is mutual; they’ve been responsible for many a dumpster diving trip. I don’t really know what happened, exactly; by the time I got there, they were hauling Blaine into the trash.”</p><p>“And then they turned on you? Why?” Rachel is captivated, hanging on to his every word, living for the drama of an actual fight.</p><p>“No, I saw them and I just...I don’t know Rachel, something came over me, and I had to help. I’m sick of those guys treating us like garbage and I’m definitely sick of ending up <em> in </em> the garbage.”</p><p>“So you punched Azimio?”</p><p>“Eh, they grabbed me to throw me into the dumpster and I think I may have swung at him in an effort to get free? It’s a bit of a blur, to be honest.”</p><p>“Wow, Kurt, this is so much more exciting than I thought! You’re like a real life super hero.”</p><p>“Oh no, Rachel, you’ve got the wrong guy. I know you think Blaine’s a bad influence or something, but he’s actually a really great guy. He only gets in fights when he’s trying to protect people; I think it’s quite admirable.”</p><p>Rachel flashes him a smile. “I suppose there is a certain Batman quality to the whole thing,” she concedes. “Well, don’t be making a habit of it, Kurt. You wouldn’t want to end up with a disciplinary record. Colleges do not take kindly to such things.” </p><p>Kurt hums in agreement. One of the reasons their friendship works is because they are both motivated to get out of Dodge. Their strategies may differ, what with Rachel clawing her way to success and Kurt trying to fly under the radar, but the desired outcome is the same. </p><p>—</p><p>Thanks to Rachel’s early morning outburst, Kurt misses the opportunity to catch Blaine before school. He had been looking forward to seeing him again, but is forced to wait.</p><p>By lunchtime, Kurt is buzzing with anticipation. He wonders if Blaine will join him and Rachel at their lunch table, now that they have kissed. But no, by the time Kurt makes it to the cafeteria, Blaine is already perched in his usual spot in the corner. Disappointment twists in the pit of his stomach.</p><p>He joins Rachel at their usual table but his eyes are drawn like a magnet to the dark, lonely figure on the other side of the room. Blaine’s eyes are closed, his head leaned back against the wall. He looks blissfully relaxed and Kurt’s breath catches in his chest; the boy is undeniably beautiful. </p><p>Blaine’s eyes blink open and he immediately spots Kurt. Embarrassed at having been caught, Kurt drops his gaze for a moment, but he can’t resist looking again. Blaine is smiling this time, apples of his cheeks so high that they crinkle the corners of his eyes. He raises his right hand, palm out, until it is level with his shoulder and moves his fingers in the suggestion of a wave.</p><p>The disappointment lingering in his gut coalesces into excitement and longing. Blaine’s smile is bright and just for him; it fills him with warmth. The smile that breaks out on Kurt’s face is uncontrolled and probably a little insane. He usually aims to be more composed than this. He waves back.</p><p>Rachel finally notices the lack of audience for her latest anecdote and twists her body to see what has so thoroughly grabbed Kurt’s attention.</p><p>“Your infatuation would be annoying if it weren’t so cute.”</p><p>Kurt internally curses his pale complexion that makes his subsequent blushing so obvious. Rachel doesn’t miss it and gives him a probing look.</p><p>“Kurt? Did...did something happen?” Her eyes sparkle with excitement.</p><p>Deciding that she has moved on from her earlier disapproval, Kurt leans forward and confesses in a hushed voice, “Blaine kissed me yesterday.”</p><p>Eyes wide, Rachel grabs him by the shoulders and squeals with excitement, shaking his torso until he wriggles out of her grasp. Unperturbed, Rachel launches herself at him, pulling him into a tight hug and kissing him on the cheek.</p><p>Kurt glances up long enough to catch Blaine watching this display with amusement from his steel throne of solitude. </p><p>Clasping his hands, Rachel begins to fire off questions. “How was it? Are you guys dating now? Do you think he likes you?”</p><p>Kurt finally holds up his hands to stem the flood of questions. “I...don’t know how to answer most of that. We didn’t really get the chance to talk. I mean, he did call me last night, but we didn’t actually discuss what happened.”</p><p>“He called you! That has to be a good sign.”</p><p>“I guess, I mean he said he just wanted to check on me after the fight, but… he didn’t have to do that.”</p><p>“Speaking of which, while I’m glad to see you looking happy, I have to ask: Do you think he’s really boyfriend material?”</p><p>“Rachel!”</p><p>“I’m sorry! I just… he does have an aggressive streak.”</p><p>“What happened to Batman?”</p><p>“And look what a horrible boyfriend he turned out to be, see that’s my point exactly.”</p><p>Kurt begins to regret telling Rachel about the kiss. “Enough! Rachel, he’s actually a very nice person and I like him, so please, just be happy for me.”</p><p>Rachel gives him a soft smile. “I hardly know him so I suppose I’m not in any position to pass judgement. Before you two get serious, though, I’m going to have to spend some quality one-on-one time with Mr. Anderson and decide for myself if he is truly worthy of being your boyfriend.”</p><p>“Rachel, first of all, you do not actually get to decide that, and, second of all, all we did was kiss I have no idea if he even meant anything by it.”</p><p>“Fine, fine! But Kurt?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Mr. didn’t-mean-anything-by-it sure is looking over here a lot. And smiling. It’s kind of weird; I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile that much. It’s freaking me out.”</p><p>“What should I do? Should I look back?”</p><p>“Go talk to him!” she urges, starting to manhandle him out of his seat. </p><p>Kurt narrowly avoids falling on his ass and brushes off his pants, glaring at Rachel. She just grins and shrugs. As usual, his ire has little effect on her. Still unsure about this plan, Kurt looks over at Blaine, who smiles and then waves him over.</p><p><em> Here goes nothing </em>.</p><p>Bookbag slung over his shoulder, Kurt weaves through the crowds of raucous teenagers and the mine field of abandoned backpacks and instrument cases. He lets out a sigh of relief when he reaches Blaine’s relatively quiet and calm corner of the cafeteria. When Kurt draws near, Blaine shifts his own bag to the floor and pats the open spot on the radiator next to him.</p><p>Kurt hops up awkwardly and there is just enough room for him to sit there. Blaine slides off his headphones. “Hey, Kurt.”</p><p>“Hi, Blaine.”</p><p>“I looked for you this morning,” he comments casually. Kurt absorbs this news and lets it buoy his confidence.</p><p>“I was hoping to see you too but Rachel was, well, being Rachel.”</p><p>“Ahh,” says Blaine with a knowing smirk. “Did you win an award or something? She looked pretty excited.”</p><p>Kurt playfully swings one of his legs, kicking his foot into Blaine’s. “I see you’ve been spying on us, Anderson.”</p><p>“Just hoping to catch your eye so you would come over,” he replies, smirking even wider.</p><p>“You know you have two functioning legs; I’m sure you could have managed to coordinate them well enough to travel the ground yourself.”</p><p>“But this way I get you all to myself,” he says with a wink.</p><p>Kurt feels his cheeks turn red again. The elephant in the room looms large. Kurt wants to broach the subject but isn’t sure how.</p><p>What he ends up going with is just blurting out, “That was my first kiss.”</p><p>“Really?” Blaine asks, looking surprised.</p><p>“I’m not going to say it again,” Kurt says stiffly, casting his eyes down to the floor. He hopes that Blaine doesn’t notice the way his cheeks flush with embarrassment.</p><p>“Sorry, I didn’t—I just—I wouldn’t have done that if I’d known.”</p><p><em> Oh </em>. The realization that Blaine regrets kissing him settles heavy in the pit of his stomach. “I’m sorry my lack of experience offends you, Blaine.” </p><p>“What? No, no, hey.” Blaine’s voice is soft and Kurt feels the gentle press of his shoulder as he leans his body against Kurt’s. “That wasn’t...I didn’t mean it like <em> that </em>.” Blaine’s fingers reach out to cup Kurt’s jaw and gently adjust the angle of his face until Kurt finally looks him in the eyes again. Kurt suspects that making eye contact with Blaine will lose him the battle against the tears he feels stinging at the corners of his eyes but he is powerless to resist. Instead, he sees Blaine’s expression, etched with concern, and he is filled with relief. “I just...I mean, I just hope I didn’t ruin it. I can’t imagine you laid awake at night dreaming about having your first kiss in a dumpster, I mean, what the fuck is wrong with me?”</p><p>Kurt finds his insecurity oddly endearing. </p><p>“You didn’t ruin it, Blaine. It was… it was a good first kiss, okay. Really good.”</p><p>Blaine smiles a goofy grin, looking relieved. “Good. I still can’t believe I kissed you in the fucking dumpster. I hadn’t <em> planned </em> to do that, you know? I was just…sort of overcome,” Blaine admits.</p><p><em> Overcome? </em> Kurt tosses the word over in his mind before deciding that has to be a good thing.</p><p>With a laugh, he replies, “I didn’t think you’d planned anything, Blaine. Especially since you told me I shouldn’t have gotten involved.”</p><p>“Why did you, anyways? You never have before.” </p><p>“It’s like you said, I was sort of… overcome. That’s the first time I’ve ever felt brave, Blaine.”</p><p>“Well, I think you’re brave,” Blaine says softly.</p><p>“Really? But, why?”</p><p>“You’re just… yourself. You don’t try to fit in.”</p><p>“Neither do you,” Kurt reminds him.</p><p>“Yeah, but it’s different for me. I just… can’t deal with most people. I’m not really giving anything up by keeping everyone at bay,” Blaine explains.</p><p>“You didn’t keep me away,” Kurt points out.</p><p>“No… I didn’t.” Blaine agrees, his voice light. “I found that for once I didn’t want to.”</p><p>A warm ball of emotion forms in Kurt’s chest. “I… thank you.”</p><p>“No, thank <em> you </em>.”</p><p>The warning bell rings, signaling the end of lunch and forcing the end of their conversation.</p><p>“Could we…?” Kurt trails off, teetering on the edge between fear and bravery.</p><p>“Kurt?” Blaine asks gently.</p><p>“I was wondering—I mean, we don’t have to, but—I was wondering if you wanted to… hang out, um, later this week.”</p><p>“Oh,” he says, sounding deflated, and Kurt immediately regrets the decision to ask but before he can retract the offer, Blaine explains. “I have therapy after school every day, but…maybe later in the evening? We could…grab ice cream or something after dinner.”</p><p>“Sure!” says Kurt brightly. “How does Thursday sound? We could meet at the Whippy Dip at 8?”</p><p>“Perfect! I should run but I’ll see you in Lit later, right?” Blaine hops gracefully to his feet.</p><p>“See you later,” Kurt says with a wave. </p><p>— </p><p>Kurt calls Rachel in a bit of a panic an hour before his date with Blaine. </p><p>“What if he doesn’t think it’s a date?”</p><p>“Then I guess you’ll have to be more explicit the next time you try to ask him out.”</p><p>“Next time?”</p><p>“Sure, why not? Look, Kurt, it doesn’t matter what he thought beforehand what matters is how the evening goes. You can <em> show </em> him that it’s a date. You could pay for his ice cream or pull out his chair. Or just be really flirty. Maybe plant a wet one on him at the end of the night, that should get the message across.”</p><p>“Rachel!” he yelps, slightly scandalized. </p><p>Rachel takes this as an invitation to escalate. “Or you could, you know, be really sensual about how you lick the ice cream cone—” Kurt never hears the rest of Rachel’s suggestion because he hangs up on her in disgust. </p><p>“You are no help at all,” he gripes to the unengaged cell phone before shoving it into his back pocket. He runs his hands nervously against the fabric of his jeans, letting the gentle scratch of the material soothe him. </p><p>Looking at the time, Kurt yelps again. If he doesn’t leave now he’s going to be late.</p><p>As it is, he just barely makes it on time. When he walks in, he is disappointed to see that Blaine has already gotten them a table and it’s a booth. So much for pulling out his seat. Although, Kurt isn’t sure that’s really his style anyways. The whole thing seems a little too… traditional for him. </p><p>Blaine’s smile isn’t quite as bright as it was this afternoon but he still looks pleased to see him.</p><p>“Hey, Kurt!” Blaine rises from his chair as Kurt approaches, waving him over.</p><p>“How are you?”</p><p>“I have a bit of a headache, to be honest. I’m hoping ice cream will be just the thing to perk me up.”</p><p>Kurt gives his forearm a comforting squeeze. “I’m sorry. I guess therapy can get intense sometimes, huh?”</p><p>Blaine groans dramatically. “Vowel teams are honestly making me their bitch right now.”</p><p>“Vowel teams?” Kurt asks, deeply confused. “I thought you were in therapy. Shouldn’t it be more like, tell me about your mother?”</p><p>Blaine’s entire body shakes with laughter. “Not <em> that </em> kind of therapy, Kurt! Reading therapy! My dyslexia was caught really late so my parents hired a lot of specialists to work with me after school; today I was working with a reading specialist. Although, I should maybe admit that on Tuesdays I do actually have <em> that </em> kind of therapy. I’m honestly a little surprised you were so willing to ask out someone you thought was so unbalanced they have daily psychotherapy.”</p><p>Kurt laughs, the information hitting him in waves. “Ask out? So you <em> did </em> think that this was a date!” He feels victorious.</p><p>Blaine, oblivious to the internal debate that’s been raging within Kurt the past few days, crinkles his forehead and frowns slightly. </p><p>“I—but you—I thought…shit, I’m sorry Kurt. Boy did I read that wrong. I shouldn’t have assumed but I mean you did—”</p><p>“Blaine!” Kurt cuts him off. “This is definitely a date.” He reaches shyly for Blaine’s hand and gives his fingers a little squeeze.</p><p>Blaine bites his lip and blushes. “Good.”</p><p>“Now that that’s settled. What type of ice cream usually cures your headaches?”</p><p>“Whatever has the most chocolate,” Blaine replies, eyes sparkling with delight. </p><p>“Why am I not surprised?” Kurt teases.</p><p>“Oh god, you’re going to get something depressingly healthy, aren’t you?” Blaine counters.</p><p>“I…might be ordering a nonfat mango sorbet, as it happens, yes.”</p><p>But instead of teasing him further, Blaine just shoulder checks him and grins. </p><p>Ice creams in hand, they tuck themselves into the booth Blaine got for them in the back of the shop. The atmosphere falls short of being romantic, what with the waves of children and preteens that appear every fifteen minutes, but Kurt finds it hard to care.</p><p>Instead of thinking about how on earth one is supposed to eat something as messy as ice cream sexily, Kurt finds himself far too busy cackling as Blaine rants about reading therapy.</p><p>“Honestly, Kurt, our spelling system was invented by masochists. Like, I don’t know what psychopath came up with y-a-c-h-t for ‘yacht’ but now I want to buy one just so I can run the fucker over in it.”</p><p>Kurt finds his overly dark and crude sense of humor to be strangely charming; it’s nice to see this boy who is so reserved and quiet at school speaking with such passion and at such length about anything.</p><p>“I’ve never given it much thought but now that you mention it, that makes zero sense.”</p><p>“Exactly!” Blaine declares victoriously, as if Kurt is the first person who has ever validated his complaints before.</p><p>“I was wondering… how worried should we be about this whole Trey and Sarah situation?”</p><p>“Mild to moderately worried? If things get too much further, I’ll take care of it.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, what? You’ll ‘take care of it?’ Are you in the mafia, Blaine? Because you have to tell me if you’re in the mafia or it’s entrapment.”</p><p>“Pretty sure that’s only for law enforcement, and no, of course I’m not in the mafia that would be absurd. I just… I can handle it.”</p><p>“Any chance you’ll elaborate on that?”</p><p>“Mmm…I think that’s more second date material, don’t you?” Blaine raises an eyebrow to Kurt in challenge.</p><p>“Are you asking?” Kurt replies cheekily.</p><p>“I…yeah, okay. Want to go out this weekend? On a date, like, of the romantic variety. Just so we’re clear. ”</p><p>Kurt reaches across the table to shove Blaine’s shoulder as an act of revenge for Blaine teasing him, but Blaine whips his arm around and pins Kurt’s hand to the table instead. Kurt laughs and then shivers when Blaine strokes the pad of his thumb across the back of Kurt’s hand instead of pulling away.</p><p>Kurt knows he has gone very pink, but there’s nothing he can do about that. </p><p>Trying, and most likely failing, to be coy, he counters with, “Not until you tell me where you propose taking me.”</p><p>“Would you…um…” Blaine suddenly looks nervous and vulnerable, all cockiness gone in an instance. Kurt drops his sassy attitude and looks softly at Blaine, giving his fingers a squeeze. “…really, please say no if you aren’t interested but…would you by any chance want to visit an art exhibit with me?”</p><p>Blaine’s hazel eyes are wide with uncertainty and the desire to comfort and reassure is so strong that Kurt probably would have agreed to attend a hands-on taxidermy workshop if Blaine had asked him with that face.</p><p>“I would love to.”</p><p>“Yeah? Okay, great! There’s a new installation at the modern art museum that looked interesting, Fort Wayne is always good, and my favorite gallery rotates pretty often so I bet they have some new stuff.” Blaine looks at him expectantly.</p><p>“I...I meant it when I said that I’d love to go but honestly, Blaine, I know almost nothing about art.” Kurt feels embarrassed until an idea strikes him. “Why don’t you show me your all time favorite exhibit? That way I can get to know you better.”</p><p>Blaine’s disappointment quickly transforms into excitement. “That sounds perfect.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong>Thank you to my beta readers <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> </strong> </p><p>Thanks for all the comments last chapter! It was lovely to hear how much people enjoyed the rather unusual first kiss. To my fellow Jews, L'Shanah Tovah. I discovered today that when a shofar is not available, a kazoo makes an acceptable substitute.</p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p><strong>Coming Up Next:</strong>Kurt and Blaine in Fort Wayne (hey, that rhymed!)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Junk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please enjoy Chapter 8! I have never visit the city of Fort Wayne, Indiana nor the the Fort Wayne Museum of Art but they have a lovely website with lots of photos. This chapter has a few links to reference photos, so please feel free to click through if you want to see what the museum and art actually look like that I'm describing. I *think* there shouldn't be any issue with the links but let me know if there is! </p><p>This chapter was inspired by the many trips I went on to art museums with my mother growing up. It was fun to put myself in the shoes of someone who has never been to an art museum before.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Listen:</strong>
  <br/>
  <audio></audio>
  <br/>
  <em>(or click <a href="https://archive.org/download/friends-in-low-places-chapter-8-4-22-21-8.14-pm/Friends%20in%20Low%20Places%20-%20Chapter%208%20-%204%3A22%3A21%2C%208.14%20PM.mp3">here</a> if your browser doesn't support HTML 5)</em>
</p><hr/><p>Saturday morning, Kurt awakens to sunshine pouring in through the gap in his curtains. He is briefly annoyed to be roused so early on a weekend but then he remembers that Blaine is taking him to the art museum today and he is too excited to go back to sleep. </p><p>He spends the morning carefully curating the perfect outfit and taking an extra long shower, followed by the extended version of his morning beauty routine. His father bangs on the bathroom door and hollers threats about what will happen if Kurt uses up all the hot water but Kurt brushes them aside. He has a hot date and hot dates require hot water; his dad is only going to get dirty again at the garage anyways.</p><p>He texts Rachel a photo of his outfit to get her stamp of approval and then tries to do a little homework since he doesn’t know how long their date will last. He likes to keep things from piling up and having plans gives him extra incentive to start early.</p><p><b>Rachel</b>: He won’t know what hit him.</p><p>Pleased with her reaction, Kurt sets his phone aside and puts together a healthy lunch for himself and his dad. Convincing his dad to eat salad for lunch has been an uphill battle but Kurt hasn’t given up trying. Today he’s going to garnish their lunch salad with toasted walnuts and blue cheese.</p><p>Burt looks skeptical when presented with the salad but good-naturedly gives it a try. “Walnuts are a nice touch,” he comments, nodding his approval. Kurt considers this a victory.</p><p>“Where did you say you’re going this afternoon again?” he asks before taking another bite of salad. Kurt is definitely going to have to remember this recipe for the future.</p><p>“Oh, uh, an art museum? I forget what it's called.” Kurt hasn’t explained that this is a date. He won’t lie to his dad but he’s hoping maybe it won’t come up. It isn’t that he wants to hide things from him, but he isn’t sure how his dad feels about the idea of him dating and doesn’t want to deal with any potential backlash when he doesn’t even know if this thing with Blaine is going anywhere. He hopes it will but he’s never done this before and the whole thing feels so tentative and fragile, held together by the thin threads of their newly budding friendship and a searing kiss in a dumpster.</p><p>“Art, huh? That’s kind of a new thing for you, isn’t it? What got you interested?”</p><p>“Oh, well my friend Blaine is really into it so I thought I’d give it a try.”</p><p>Burt nods in thoughtful silence. “Blaine...that’s the kid you did that project with right?”</p><p>Kurt nods, tapping his foot nervously under the table. </p><p>“Good. See, new friends get you out of your comfort zone! It’s good for you, especially at your age.”</p><p>Kurt thinks back to the fight; if only his dad knew just how far out of his comfort zone he had already strayed because of Blaine. </p><p>A knock at the front door pulls Kurt back in from his thoughts. <em> Blaine! </em> “I’ll get it!” he declares, a little too eagerly. His dad merely raises an eyebrow. The conversation with his dad must have thrown off his mental schedule for the day; he thought he had plenty of time to finish lunch and collect himself before Blaine arrived. </p><p>Kurt leaps to his feet and loads his dishes into the dishwasher as fast as humanly possible before scurrying to the front door. He’s hopelessly out of breath but there’s nothing he can do about that now. <em> Why am I always in a hurry whenever Blaine is around? </em></p><p>He opens the door and there’s Blaine, looking handsome and cozy in his black peacoat and houndstooth scarf. Kurt can’t help himself from reaching out to touch the fabric of the scarf; he’s impressed that Blaine has something like this in his wardrobe. “Ooh, look who decided to embrace patterns today,” he teases, briefly fingering the soft fabric.</p><p>Blaine’s cheeks, already pink from the cold, darken. “Good to see you too. Are you ready to go? It’s fine if you need a minute; I’ve never been here before so I left extra time but now then I ended up getting here early.” He shrugs apologetically.</p><p>
  <em> That explains it. </em>
</p><p>“Let me just grab my coat and say goodbye to my dad, then I’m all yours.” Kurt blushes as he realizes how flirty that last part sounded out loud. Judging by Blaine’s face, he noticed it too. Thankfully, he doesn’t bring it up.</p><p>“You must be Blaine.” </p><p>
  <em> Crap. </em>
</p><p>He realizes now that it was a fool’s errand to think he could manage to get out without his dad meeting Blaine but, still, Kurt had hoped.</p><p>“Blaine, this is my dad. Dad, this is Blaine.”</p><p>Kurt watches their handshake like a hawk, alert for any sign that his dad is picking up a vibe. </p><p>“Nice to meet you, kiddo. Enjoy the museum, boys.”</p><p>“Well, that’s enough of that. Bye, Dad. Love you.”</p><p>Kurt manages to usher his dad back into the house and he thankfully doesn't linger in the mud room while Kurt buttons up his coat and carefully zips up his boots.</p><p>“I hope those are comfortable,” Blaine comments, pointing to Kurt’s boots. “Museums are a lot of walking.”</p><p>Blaine may have picked out a fashionable accessory today but clearly he does not understand fashion. Kurt can’t just <em> change his shoes </em>!</p><p>“I would have to completely change my outfit if I wore different shoes, so these will have to do.”</p><p>Blaine looks perplexed and then shrugs. “I’ll have to take your word for it. You look great, by the way.”</p><p>“Why thank you, kind sir. Shall we?”</p><p>—</p><p>As Kurt steps out of the car, he looks around in interest. The <a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/b1a3ebe27077b59a47907e7f8f4c4bb7/c4d4bbb103f21471-f9/s1280x1920/ccb5330b12903c1ee7728d605263a1a5525e3686.jpg">Fort Wayne Museum of Art</a> has a modern design, all clean lines and obtuse angles. When Blaine had explained they were going to cross state lines on their quest for art, Kurt had been skeptical, but Fort Wayne appears to be quite the bustling and cultured city. On the way to the museum he counted five independent coffee shops and at least one LGBTQ book store.</p><p>As they turn the corner, the solid windowless brick walls give way to a wall of floor to ceiling reflective glass windows.</p><p>“What is that?” Kurt asks, pointing at a spiky metal structure on the front lawn of the museum. “It looks like a cross between industrial scaffolding and a children’s play structure but with the functionality of neither.”</p><p>Blaine laughs and rolls his eyes. “It’s a sculpture,” Blaine explains. “It’s modern art.” </p><p>Kurt wrinkles his nose, hoping that what awaits them inside will be more to his taste.</p><p>Blaine leads him into the reception area and insists on paying for Kurt’s ticket, despite his best efforts. “You don’t have to be all chivalrous, you know. I’m not a girl.”</p><p>“Wait, you’re not?!” Blaine asks in mock surprise. </p><p>Kurt gives him a playful shove, causing Blaine to break character and snort with laughter. “Look, I’m the one who asked <em> you </em> out, not to mention that you are totally indulging me by even coming here; please let me pay for your ticket so I feel less guilty about dragging you on this trip.” Blaine’s lower lip protrudes into an adorable pout.</p><p>“Alright, as long as you know I’m not the girl in the relationship.”</p><p>“Relationship?” Blaine asks, smirking playfully.</p><p>“Damnit, you know what I meant.”</p><p>“Kurt I don’t know how to tell you this but…” he trails off, looking solemn.</p><p>“What?” Kurt asks nervously.</p><p>Blaine stage whispers, “I’m gay. I really hope you can accept that about me.”</p><p>“Yes, doofus, I’m aware.”</p><p>“Then why do you think there is a girl in this relationship? Because...in all seriousness that would be a huge bummer.”</p><p>Kurt considers Blaine’s words and realizes that he’s right. Why did one of them have to be the ‘girl’? What would that even mean? It was just one of things he’d heard people say. He feels embarrassed that he had ever believed them. He also feels a surge of affection towards Blaine for knowing better and letting him know by teasing him. He doesn’t feel judged, he just feels more knowledgeable now.</p><p>“You’re ridiculous, but point taken. Can we please look at some art now?” Kurt pleads.</p><p>“It would be my absolute pleasure, mademoiselle.”</p><p>“Oh my god, stop! You’re lucky that you’re my ride home.”</p><p>Laughing and grinning, Blaine takes off towards one of the exhibits, leaving Kurt to chase after him. A guard gives them both a stern look which leads to more giggling, but successfully puts the kibosh on their antics.</p><p>“I thought we could start in the Impressionism Gallery. I think it’s one of the more accessible art styles.”</p><p>“Lead the way, crazy pants.”</p><p>—</p><p>Blaine’s goofy playfulness settles down rapidly once they enter the exhibit. Kurt notes the look of wonder in Blaine’s eyes as he takes in the paintings and the way he examines them from various distances as if trying to determine the optimal viewing position.</p><p>Kurt has seen art before, sure, but he’s never actually visited a proper art museum. The paintings are much more interesting in real life than printed in the pages of a textbook. He’s especially surprised by the size; some of them are truly enormous. If he looks closely, he can actually see the texture of the brushstrokes in the paint. He’s tempted to reach to see if the surface is as scalloped as it appears but his dad didn’t raise a barbarian; he knows better than to touch the art.</p><p>“So,” Blaine asks, “what do you think? Do you have a favorite?”</p><p>Kurt glances around the room, considering his options. “I actually really like these. I guess my eyes keep going back over to <a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/89fe64824af80857f6c14480fd0a9494/c4d4bbb103f21471-68/s640x960/0ba0a1f4737fc13ed58bc1978c8ce08a15c781e3.png">that one</a> in the corner. There’s just something about the tree branches; I can’t really explain it.”</p><p>Blaine reaches for his hand and eagerly pulls Kurt closer to the painting in question so they can examine it in further detail. “You have excellent taste,” Blaine praises. “This is one of my favorites too.”</p><p>Kurt feels like he has earned Blaine’s approval. “What do you like about it?” Kurt asks. </p><p>“At first it just looks like a beautiful fall day, with the ground covered in orange leaves. But the way the branches look like they are moving from the wind, I feel like the tree could reach out and grab me. It’s kind of unsettling but in a strangely compelling way.” </p><p>Kurt nods his agreement. Blaine’s answer manages to put into words exactly how Kurt felt looking at the painting. </p><p>“Can I convince you to investigate the sculpture exhibit with me? I know you weren’t very impressed with the one outside, but they’ve had really interesting stuff here in the past so I think it is worth checking out.” Blaine looks so eager that there is only one answer Kurt is capable of giving.</p><p>“Sure!”</p><p>Blaine bounces on his toes, looking delighted. He is so eager to get to the next gallery that he nearly collides head on into another couple, walking in the opposite direction. </p><p>“Blaine, watch out!” Kurt warns him. Blaine manages to jump back in time to avoid crashing into them completely but it’s a close call.</p><p>“Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry, I should watch where I’m going,” he apologizes.</p><p>The woman smiles at them. “That’s quite alright.” She then turns to the red-headed woman beside her and asks, “Are you ready for lunch, honey?”</p><p>Kurt feels a strange desire to reach for Blaine’s hand to signal to these women that they are alike. He isn’t used to feeling this bizarre sense of kinship with a stranger, but he enjoys the feeling. When the red head reaches for the brunette’s hand, Kurt’s heart leaps for joy.</p><p>He glances around, looking for negative reactions, but sees none. <em> Good to know. </em></p><p>—</p><p>“Blaine, are you sure this is art?” Kurt asks, surveying the sculpture exhibit with skepticism.</p><p>Blaine lets out an exasperated sigh. “We are literally in an art museum, Kurt. Of course, I’m sure.”</p><p>“But this looks like it was sourced from the McKinley dumpster; I should know, I’ve spent enough time in there.”</p><p>“Yeah, but that’s the point! They are <a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/de21f0eed6e63312715d0cf39beaef66/c4d4bbb103f21471-c0/s640x960/ed0a0a9f8869b463699d2d81a2c09a4b32677f90.png">junk sculptures</a>. The artist took something society thought had no value and used it to create something beautiful.” </p><p>Kurt feels a bit stunned. “Oh,” he half-whispers, suddenly feeling strangely vulnerable. There is something about these sculptures that he connects with in ways he does not know how to articulate.</p><p>“Do you want to look at them? Because we don’t have to, really, I can always come back another time with my mom, it’s not a big deal—” </p><p>Blaine sounds so apologetic that Kurt can’t let him finish. “ — Blaine!” he interjects. “I want to see them.” Kurt glances around the exhibit, assessing how crowded the room is and how much attention the other patrons are paying to him and Blaine. He thinks about the couple they met in the Impressionism gallery and decides to be brave. There is something about Blaine that makes him want to be brave.</p><p>He reaches for Blaine’s hand, gently enough that Blaine could easily disengage if he was uncomfortable. Instead, Blaine looks over at him and gives him a soft smile, before interlacing their fingers together and giving Kurt’s hand a squeeze that sends a shock of warmth traveling all the way up his arm and into his chest cavity.</p><p>Kurt examines each sculpture, an unexpected amalgamation of glass and steel, fragments of nothingness sutured together into beauty. His heart pounds in his chest for reasons he doesn’t understand so he keeps hold of Blaine's hand like a lifeline. </p><p>They walk most of the gallery in comfortable silence; Blaine seems to sense Kurt’s pensive mood and leaves him to his thoughts without question.</p><p>When he’s ready, Kurt finally breaks the silence. “I’ve never seen anything like this before. I... Blaine I actually really like them.”</p><p>Blaine’s face lights up with delight. “Really? You do? I—me too.” </p><p>Kurt gazes at the sculptures, thinking about the long journey their components have been on. They must have begun their lives as useful objects, perhaps changing hands a few times, being sold on Ebay, before eventually making their way to some landfill. But instead of that being the end of their journey, they were reimagined into something entirely new. If these discarded car rims and glass bottles could rise up after being tossed aside by society, determined to have no value, then perhaps he can as well. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes.</p><p>He glances over at Blaine to find that Blaine has been observing him as he stares at the artwork; Blaine smiles and then looks away, perhaps embarrassed to be caught looking.</p><p>Kurt begins to speak, not really sure where he’s going but needing to get his thoughts out. Blaine listens patiently, attentively. “Have you ever really stopped to think about how fundamentally weird dumpster tossing is?”</p><p>Blaine cocks his head to the side in thought. “No, I guess I never have.”</p><p>“Who wakes up in the morning and thinks to themselves, you know what would be fun? To put a living, breathing, sentient human being in the <em> trash </em>.”</p><p>“I don’t think anything resembling thought goes into it, Kurt. That’s sort of the problem.”</p><p>Kurt sighs, regretting the somber turn the conversation has taken. “You’re right. I shouldn’t let it get to me, I just… there’s something about being literally thrown away that makes it a little harder to remember that I’m actually worth anything, you know?”</p><p>Blaine’s eyes bore straight into Kurt’s, flashing wildly. “You’re worth ten of them,” he declares fiercely.</p><p>Kurt gulps. “Then why am I the one treated like garbage?”</p><p>“<em>Because </em> you’re better than them. You would never do that to anyone, no matter how awful they are. You actually see the value in every person in that fucking school, don’t you?”</p><p>Kurt shrugs, having never quite thought about it this way before. “I guess. I mean, yes, I would never throw anyone in a dumpster but… I don’t know about that making me better than anyone. Most of the time it seems like it just makes me weak.”</p><p>“Fighting isn’t necessarily the strong move, Kurt. Being vulnerable is it’s own kind of strength.”</p><p>There is something fierce and emotional behind Blaine’s eyes that Kurt can’t quite parse but it makes his heart pound even more than the art did. He isn’t sure if he wants to cry or if he wants to kiss Blaine, so he settles for grasping his hand tighter.</p><p>—</p><p>Blaine pulls up in front of Kurt’s house and cuts the motor to the car. He turns to Kurt, smile on his face, and asks, “So, have I converted you to the cult of art lovers?”</p><p>Kurt smiles in return. “Well, first of all, I was <em> not </em> informed that it was a cult.”</p><p>Blaine snickers.</p><p>“But, yes, I can honestly say that that was a lot more fun than I expected an art museum to be. I don’t know that I'm at a cult-level fervor, but I would certainly be open to doing something like this again.”</p><p>“Really? You’re not just saying that?”</p><p>“Of course, why would I lie about that?”</p><p>“I dunno. Sometimes people only tell you what they think you want to hear. But I don’t want to steamroll you into liking the same things that I like.”</p><p>“Blaine, I think you’ll find that I’m exceptionally hard to steamroll.”</p><p>Blaine grins. “Okay, yeah, I buy that. Good! I like a man with a strong personality.”</p><p>Kurt ducks his head in embarrassment. When he can bear to make eye contact with Blaine, the boy’s eyes are shining earnestly at him. Their brilliance makes him feel brave again. “So...if I’m a man with a strong personality...and you like a man with a strong personality...does that mean that you like me?”</p><p>Blaine shakes his head in disbelief. He takes one of Kurt’s hands in his. “You really don’t know the answer to that already? Yes, Kurt, I like you. I liked you before this and after spending more time together and enjoying your company so much, well, I like you even more now. And I would very much like to kiss you again, if that’s alright with you.”</p><p>Kurt has forgotten how to breathe but somehow he manages a nod.</p><p>They meet over the gearbox and when their lips touch, Kurt is very glad that he is sitting down. If Blaine’s words took his breath away, he feels sure that his kiss would buckle his knees and drop him straight to the floor. Blaine’s lips are somehow softer than he remembered but just as sweet. Kurt’s hands find their way into Blaine’s hair, grasping at his curls and drawing him closer, deepening the kiss. Blaine lets out a low sound and <em> did I really do that? </em> One of Blaine’s hands finds his shoulder and the other cups his cheek. The brush of Blaine’s fingers over the apple of his cheek sends a shiver down his spine. They kiss until Kurt really does need to breathe and pulls back. </p><p>Blaine looks at him, eyes slightly unfocused, and lets out a low whistle. “Damn.”</p><p>“Yeah, same,” Kurt agrees breathlessly.</p><p>Then they both blush and share a moment of nervous laughter that breaks the intensity of the moment.</p><p>“I should probably go inside before my dad sends out a search party. I don’t want him wondering why the car has been parked out here so long.”</p><p>“Yeah, my parents are expecting me for dinner,” Blaine concedes, looking wistful.</p><p>“Thank you for a wonderful afternoon, Blaine. And I’d, um, I’d like to do it again sometime.”</p><p>Blaine responds with some swagger in his voice. “You are <em> so </em> welcome and I would be quite devastated if you didn’t.” </p><p>“Good night, then. See you at school on Monday.” Kurt presses his lips to Blaine’s cheek, suddenly feeling shy, and then hops out of the car. The early evening air is cool but Kurt’s whole body feels warm. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <strong>Thank you to my beta readers <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> for making sure this story isn't junk! Or if it is, it's beautiful junk!</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for all of your comments last chapter! They are all important to me and I love love love reading them💕 I'm always down to answer questions about anything in this story, especially special ed stuff. Case in point, I just went back to add some additional notes to chapter 6 explaining the term "resource" since a reader asked about it. If you're curious, go check it out!</p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p><strong>Coming Up Next: </strong> Blaine is going to start eating with them at lunch now, right? Right?</p><p><strong>Sundries:</strong><br/>If you want to see the rest of the Indiana Impressionism exhibit (part of the museum's permanent collection) you can view it on the museum website: https://www.fwmoa.org/indiana-impressionism</p><p>I would have provided artist information for the painting I linked but it actually wasn't listed on the website. I have no idea what was actually on display in the museum at the time of the story but these are things that have at some point been on display at the museum. I think the junk sculptures and the front of the museum I pulled from google street view, so I definitely do not have artist information for the sculptures for which I apologize!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Over</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Listen:</strong>
  <br/>
  <audio></audio>
  <br/>
  <em>(or click <a href="https://archive.org/download/friends-in-low-places-chapter-9-4-23-21-7.33-pm/Friends%20in%20Low%20Places%20-%20Chapter%209%20-%204%3A23%3A21%2C%207.33%20PM.mp3">here</a> if your browser doesn't support HTML 5)</em>
</p><hr/><p>“Who knew bad boy Anderson was such a romantic!” Rachel coos.</p><p>Kurt closes his locker and rolls his eyes at Rachel. “I told you already; he really isn’t the troublemaker you think he is.”</p><p>“That or love has made you blind. But, oh, I don’t care, I’m just so happy for you!” She claps her hands together and squeals, not for the first time that morning.</p><p>Kurt is torn between annoyance and letting himself be swept up in Rachel’s relentless enthusiasm. As with most things, Rachel goes a bit over the top, but in this case Kurt is finding it hard to care. He is going to ride the high from his wonderful date for as long as he can. For the first time in his life, he has a real life boy who actually likes him to gush to Rachel about. It is definitely his turn after all the hours he has listened sympathetically to the highs and lows of her romantic exploits.</p><p>“So are you going to plan the next date, since he did this one? That’s what my dads do.”</p><p>“Hmm, I guess I probably should, huh? I hadn’t really thought about it.”</p><p>“Kurt!” Rachel sounds scandalized. “How have you thought about anything else? This date was way bigger than your little ice cream social; you have to reciprocate with something similarly spectacular so he knows how much you like him. And you’d better do it soon, too! Strike while the iron is hot! Timing can really make or break things in this early stage.”</p><p>“Well, good thing I have you to come over tonight and help me brainstorm, right?” he counters.</p><p>“Oh!” Rachel’s eyes sparkle with excitement. “Yes, yes, that’s exactly what we need to do. I’ll come over at 7:30 sharp.” As usual, Rachel doesn’t ask, she tells. But 7:30 works for him, so Kurt doesn’t object. Rachel can be a lot to handle, but he’s lucky to have her as his best friend. </p><p>Kurt feels his whole body light up with excitement when he spots Blaine at the other end of the hallway. He doesn’t even have to say anything to Rachel; she can tell just by the expression on Kurt’s face and stops talking.</p><p>Today, Blaine is wearing dark wash jeans, doc martin boots, and a plain slate grey long sleeved shirt. He is sporting his usual black headphones and backpack. He walks down the hallway with little interest in the teenagers leaning against walls or clustered around lockers in small groups. As usual, he floats above it all. But Kurt knows that he is the exception. For whatever reason Kurt has yet to decipher, out of all the kids at this school Blaine has decided that Kurt is one of the few worth his time and attention.</p><p>When Blaine draws closer, Kurt waves eagerly and calls out to him, wanting to be sure Blaine doesn’t walk by without noticing him. “Hi, Blaine.”</p><p>Blaine does not respond, so Kurt tries again, louder this time to be heard over Blaine’s music. “Blaine!”</p><p>This time Blaine reacts, his whole body flinching before he whips his head around to find the source of the sound. “Wh—huh?”His expression softens when he spots Kurt and he slides his headphones off of his ears, letting them hang around his neck.</p><p>“Hi,” Kurt tries again, at a more normal volume. Rachel offers Blaine a friendly wave and takes a step back so there is room for him to join them. </p><p>Blaine makes no move to come closer, remaining frozen in the middle of the hallway. A few of their fellow students even glare at him, muttering under their breaths as they are forced to walk around him. Blaine’s muscles tense up as they walk by.</p><p>“Hey, Kurt,” Blaine responds, with a slight edge to his voice that Kurt doesn’t understand. Blaine’s hands are gripping the straps of his backpack so tightly that Kurt can see the veins bulging.</p><p>“I was just telling Rachel how much fun we had at the museum and she was wondering—” </p><p>But Blaine cuts him off before he could continue. “—Sorry, I have to go. I’ll, uh, catch you guys later. Bye.” </p><p>Then Blaine takes off down the hallway, walking just slow enough not be yelled at for running by a teacher. “Bye,” Kurt manages to get out, but Blaine is too far away to hear.</p><p>Rachel and Kurt stare after him in gobsmacked silence until Rachel finally huffs and turns back to Kurt, declaring, “Well, that was rude.”</p><p>The bright spark of happiness that has been humming away since their date falters for the first time.</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt shakes off the strangeness of Blaine’s curt behavior that morning as best he can by reassuring himself that Blaine probably just had a before-school obligation he didn’t want to be late for. <em> We’ll just talk later </em> . <em> Don’t read into it, Kurt. It was probably nothing. </em></p><p>The morning stretches on forever but finally he makes it to lunch. He tries not to be too eager about spotting Blaine while he makes his way through the cafeteria line. It is hard to see much through the crowd, anyways. He wonders if Blaine will be waiting at his usual table; if they are dating then maybe Blaine will come eat with him and Rachel now. It isn’t as if they could join him at <em> his </em> usual spot; there’s no room.</p><p>Kurt swallows his disappointment when only Rachel is waiting for him. He sets his tray on the table and immediately looks around for Blaine. He is sitting in his usual spot; perched atop the radiator in the far corner of the cafeteria.</p><p>“Isn’t he going to sit with us?” Rachel asks.</p><p>“I, um, I guess we didn’t discuss it but I had sort of hoped…” Kurt trails off, wondering if he has read too much into Blaine’s affection for him. Perhaps Blaine doesn’t see this turning into something serious the way Kurt does. Just because he said he liked him, doesn’t mean that Kurt isn’t more than a passing fancy. Or, could it be that he’s embarrassed to be seen with Kurt? Surely that can’t be it.</p><p>“Oh, I’m sure he is simply waiting for an invitation,” Rachel declares.</p><p>“Maybe,” Kurt agrees half-heartedly.</p><p>Rachel rises to her feet with a self-satisfied smirk.</p><p>“Rach?” Kurt hisses. “What are you doing?”</p><p>“Why, inviting bad boy Anderson to join us, of course,” she says brightly.</p><p>“You really need to stop calling him that,” Kurt mutters, but Rachel is already on her way. Kurt chases after her, not trusting Rachel’s ability to keep from saying something embarrassing.</p><p>He catches up to her just as she’s saying, “I think you and Kurt make a very handsome couple.”</p><p>
  <em> Rachel! We’re not a couple! </em>
</p><p>“I think what Rachel is trying to say is that we were wondering if you wanted to join us for lunch,” Kurt hurriedly explains, hoping that Blaine isn’t too freaked out by Rachel’s assumptions.</p><p>Rachel smiles invitingly at Blaine and takes a step towards him. Blaine’s eyes grow wide and he somehow manages to fold his body even tighter against the wall, knees tucked up against his chest like a shield. </p><p>“Of course, he’s going to sit with us, Kurt. Why wouldn’t he want to sit with his boyfriend at lunch? It’s not like he’d be abandoning anyone.” Rachel wrinkles her nose as she gestures to the emptiness of Blaine’s little corner of the cafeteria.</p><p>Kurt isn’t sure if Blaine’s deer-in-headlights expression is due to Rachel’s overall intensity, her referring to them as a “couple,” or the prospect of enduring Rachel for an entire lunch period. It’s hard to know what to say to alleviate Blaine’s discomfort when he’s unsure of the cause.</p><p>“Rachel, we don’t <em> have </em> to all sit together,” Kurt says, hoping this might placate Blaine.</p><p>“Oh, that’s very thoughtful of you Kurt but I promise I don’t mind in the slightest. I think a new conversational partner is just what we need to spice up our dull routine.”</p><p>Blaine looks as if he wants to crawl out of his own skin. </p><p>“Rachel, stop!” Kurt hisses. “Can’t you see that you’re upsetting him.” </p><p>Blaine’s hands are pulling and twisting the hem of his shirt, eyes firmly cast down.</p><p>“I don’t want to eat lunch with you,” Blaine finally blurts out, still not making eye contact.</p><p>Rachel’s jaw drops as if she’s been slapped. Kurt’s cheeks burn with embarrassment.</p><p>“Wow, okay,” Kurt replies, failing at keeping the hurt out of his voice.</p><p>“I have to—I’m sorry, but I—just, bye, Kurt.” Blaine slides off the side of the radiator and disappears through the nearest cafeteria exit.</p><p>“What the hell just happened?” Rachel asks in disbelief.</p><p>“I...I have no idea. But I think I might know where he is.”</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt finds Blaine in room 207, pacing restlessly near the window. Sarah is sitting at a bank of computers, wearing headphones, playing a game involving owls and spelling.</p><p>As he gets closer, he sees that Blaine is holding something; it’s a stress ball in the shape of a skull, his fingernails digging in each time he squeezes it. </p><p>“Blaine?” he calls out softly. Blaine’s head snaps up and his eyes lock onto Kurt’s. His usual smile is missing, although his expression still softens when he sees Kurt. He takes a few more steps closer, still giving Blaine plenty of space. There’s something about the way he is pacing that makes Kurt approach slowly, as if trying not to startle a wild animal. “Hey, I, uh, are you okay?”</p><p>Blaine reaches his arms up over his head and stretches them high into the air. He finally stops pacing. He glances over at Ms. Pillsbury’s desk wistfully before turning back to Kurt. “I’m fine,” he says but there’s an edge to his voice that suggests otherwise.</p><p>“Because Rachel just kind of says things without thinking, and, I mean I only told her we went out a few times, that’s it, I swear. I didn’t tell her we were boyfriends, she just kind of...added that bit on for herself. You can’t—”</p><p>“ — Kurt!” Blaine interjects, voice a little too loud. He takes a breath and then continues in a softer tone. “It’s not, um, fuck, can we please talk about this later?”</p><p>The rejections stings, but Kurt tries not to show it. “Oh, uh, yeah I guess.”</p><p>Blaine bites his lip and nods, looking relieved. “Okay.”</p><p>Kurt can’t help but wonder if Blaine’s behavior has already told him everything he needs to know. He likes Blaine a lot but he refuses to be desperate. “Look, if this was all a big mistake or something, just tell me now. Don’t drag it out.”</p><p>Blaine’s brows scrunch together with great alarm. “What? What are you talking about?”</p><p>“If you don’t want to keep going out, just tell me, please.”</p><p>“What? <em> Of course </em>, I still want to go out with you. I really like you Kurt, that hasn’t changed.” Blaine looks and sounds so genuinely confused that Kurt can’t help but believe him. He feels the corner of his lips curl up on one side into the beginnings of a smile.</p><p>“I...oh, that’s, um, good to know.” Kurt is still confused but some of his anxiety quiets.</p><p>Blaine lets out a frustrated sigh and kicks the wall behind him with his heel. “I’m so bad at this, fuck, why am I so bad at this?”</p><p>Kurt isn’t sure if Blaine’s talking to him or to himself so he doesn’t acknowledge the outburst.</p><p>“We’ll talk later?” Kurt asks hopefully.</p><p>Blaine bites his lip and nods fervently. As Kurt turns to leave, Blaine grabs hold of his hand. “Tonight. We’ll talk tonight.” </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Blaine lets go and Kurt leaves him.</p><p>—</p><p>“Did you guys work it out?” Rachel asks when Kurt returns.</p><p>Kurt drops into his seat and shakes his head.</p><p>“I’m sorry you couldn’t find him.”</p><p>“Oh, I found him, he just...wasn’t really in the mood to talk much. He said he still likes me though, so that’s something. And he sent me this text that was sort of sweet.”</p><p>Kurt holds out his phone for Rachel to see.</p><p><b>Blaine:</b> I wish I could sit with you.</p><p>“What do you think that’s supposed to mean?” Kurt asks.</p><p>“I have no idea.” Rachel looks perplexed.</p><p>“Maybe you freaked him out by calling him my boyfriend after two dates, Rachel. I know this is a lot to ask of someone who has zero chill, but just please, please try to use a lighter touch text time.”</p><p>“Well I’m sorry for thinking the two of you make a cute couple. What an unspeakably awful thing for me to say, really what <em> was </em> I thinking?”</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes. Rachel is terrible at apologies so this is probably as good as he’s going to get.</p><p>“I need to get my mind off of this. Have you gotten your Fall issue of <em> Vogue </em> yet? Because there’s this accessory set…”</p><p>Blaine’s spot on the radiator still sits empty when the bell rings.</p><p>—</p><p>The doorbell to Blaine’s house echoes quietly while Kurt waits on his doorstep. </p><p>The door swings open and there is Blaine, looking strikingly more relaxed than the last time they spoke. He wastes no time in apologizing. </p><p>“I’m so sorry about today, Kurt. Honestly, if <em> you </em>decided this whole thing was a mistake, I would understand. You still might.”</p><p>“Well, that’s not foreboding,” Kurt quips, trying to lighten the mood.</p><p>Blaine cracks a smile. “Do you want to come up to my room so we can talk?”</p><p>Kurt nods and follows him up the stairs.</p><p>This time he takes Blaine’s desk chair, feeling a little strange about sitting on his bed all of a sudden. Blaine settles himself cross-legged on the duvet across from Kurt.</p><p>“I’m sorry about Rachel,” says Kurt.</p><p>“I don’t know why you thought I was freaking out about Rachel referring to us as boyfriends but I’ve spent more than five seconds around her so I know she’s a drama queen, and frankly even if she wasn’t, I still wouldn’t care.”</p><p>“Oh.” The word sort of falls out of his mouth. <em> What is that supposed to mean? </em> “So then what happened? Because I’m feeling pretty confused about the whole thing. Why were you acting so strange today? You said that you really liked me but you don’t even want to sit with me at lunch. I don’t understand.”</p><p>Blaine thinks for a moment before responding. “Look, Kurt, there’s a reason I sit alone at lunch and unfortunately, us dating doesn’t make that reason go away.”</p><p>“Because most people annoy you?” Kurt guesses, not sure why that would keep Blaine form sitting with him...unless Rachel annoys him, which would be understandable.</p><p>“No, well yes that’s also true, but, no, it’s more that I can’t really deal with crowds. This is the first year I’ve even eaten in the cafeteria at McKinley; I used to eat in the resource room every day. Honestly, just what I’m doing now is already pretty hard. I get through it with my music and finding a spot as far away from everyone else as I can get, but it’s not been easy.”</p><p>No wonder he had never noticed Blaine before.</p><p>“But...why?”</p><p>“Um, they’re loud and just, it’s a lot of people...it gets to be too much for me.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Blaine, but I still don’t understand. <em> What </em> is too much for you? What does that even mean to <em> be </em> too much?”</p><p>Blaine runs a hand through his hair. “Now you see why I couldn’t talk before. I’m calm now and I’m still not making any sense. Okay, let me try to explain this another way. When I’m in a crowd, I start to feel… sort of panicky, I guess; maybe the best comparison is to claustrophobia?”</p><p>“Wow...I had no idea.”</p><p>“Having a learning disability is a little more complicated than people think it is,” Blaine says with a wry smile. “Maybe I should have explained before, but it hadn’t really come up and it’s not really sexy to just be like, ‘Hey, I have weird sensory issues so we can never eat together in the cafeteria.’”</p><p><em> Sensory issues?</em> Kurt files the term away for further research.</p><p>“So, just to be clear, when you said you didn’t want to eat lunch with us, you didn’t mean because you didn’t want to spend time with us? You just meant that you don’t want to sit at a table surrounded by all a lot of people?”</p><p>Blaine let out a sigh of relief. “Exactly.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you just say that?” Kurt asks, hoping he isn’t pressing his luck.</p><p>Blaine frowns. “I should have and I’m really sorry for how I said it. I was just… I was already off because I overslept this morning—that’s why I was weird in the hall, sorry about that too—and then Rachel comes marching over all abruptly, interrupting me and getting in my space and...I was already feeling overstimulated today but she really threw me off. When I get like that, words tend to come out all wrong. That’s why I didn’t want to talk earlier. I knew I would just end up saying something rude that I didn’t even mean.”</p><p>“Oh,” Kurt says inelegantly, letting this new information settle into his brain. </p><p>“See, this is why I don’t have many friends. First of all, I’m weird about crowds and loud noises which means I don’t enjoy half the things teenagers usually want to do. Second, I’m terrible at managing my emotions when I get upset—thank you learning disability for that one too. Finally, when I do get upset my brain kind of shuts down and I say something stupid that I don’t mean.”</p><p>Blaine finally stops to take a breath and runs a hand nervously through his hair. There is something compelling about the way that Blaine has just laid all of his vulnerabilities out on the floor. It is an act of trust.</p><p>Before he can question the instinct, Kurt finds himself saying, “Good thing I’m not perfect either. First of all, I don’t enjoy half the things teenagers usually want to do either. Second, I’m highly neurotic. And finally, I’m much more of a coward than you know. I was actually there when you got that black eye, Blaine. I <em> heard </em> you guys arguing. I could have stepped in and done something but I chose not to because I was afraid. That’s how much of a coward I am.”</p><p>Blaine reaches across the space between them and takes Kurt’s hand, giving it a squeeze.</p><p>“I heard having a low-maintenance boyfriend is boring anyways.” He smiles cheekily.</p><p>“Are you trying to ask me to be your boyfriend, Blaine?” Kurt asks, raising a single questioning eyebrow at Blaine.</p><p>“Are you saying yes?” he counters, his eyes twinkling with humor.</p><p>“That depends. Are you always going to completely ignore me at school or was that just today?” Kurt asks.</p><p>“No, definitely not. Can you handle giving me space sometimes when I need it?” Blaine asks.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Blaine takes Kurt’s other hand in his, and smiles warmly at him.</p><p>“Then I’m asking, yes.” </p><p>“Then I’m answering, yes.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong>Thank you to my beta readers <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> who are the best cheerleaders and problem solvers a fic writer could ask for.</strong> </p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p> </p><p>  <strong>Coming Up Next (EDITED): Kurt and Blaine figure out what matters to them as a couple</strong></p><p> </p><p><strong>More about sensory processing:</strong><br/>"What are sensory processing issues? The term refers to trouble managing information that comes in through the senses. These issues, sometimes called sensory processing disorder or sensory integration disorder, can have a big impact on learning and on everyday life. In some people, the brain has trouble organizing and responding to information from the senses. Certain sounds, sights, smells, textures, and tastes can create a feeling of “sensory overload.” Bright or flickering lights, loud noises, certain textures of food, and scratchy clothing are just some of the triggers that can make kids feel overwhelmed and upset." (Understood.org). Here is a <a href="https://www.understood.org/en/learning-thinking-differences/child-learning-disabilities/sensory-processing-issues/understanding-sensory-processing-issues?_ul=1*egsjme*domain_userid*YW1wLTNuemdxeGlncGRsNjVxZVNQSkJVRkE.">link to the article</a> for more information.</p><p>Difficulties with sensory integration most commonly go with autism spectrum disorder or ADHD, but sensory integration disorder can occur without either of those diagnoses. I think people are more familiar with the idea that some kids can get very upset in response to loud noises but there are sort of two types of sensory issues: overstimulation and understimulation. People that are overstimulated will try to escape or avoid sensory input (e.g. covering up your ears when a loud noise happens) while people that are understimulated will seek out additional sensory input (e.g. fidgeting). It isn't that someone is one way or the other; most people with sensory processing difficulties will experience both of these, often with different modalities.</p><p>In graduate school, when they explained sensory integration it was presented as a spectrum that everyone falls onto and it is just the extreme end of the spectrum where you start to consider it a problem (honestly so many things are like this and it is also why sometimes you can read about a disorder and think *I have that!!!*). Everyone has some degree of sensory seeking or sensory avoiding that they do in order to stay regulated (able to concentrate and have control over one's emotions). I'm "within the average range" as far as I know for sensory integration but after learning about it I have become so much more aware of the ways in which I can seek out sensory stimulation (I'm a fidgeter for sure and I do love my weighted blanket) and the ways in which I avoid it (I can really get overstimulated by too much loud noise, especially when lots of people are talking at the same time and I've had times where things became visually overstimulating; this usually happens when I'm especially stressed or tired). Challenge: try to notice your own sensory seeking and sensory avoiding behavior!</p><p>I forget if I've put this in the notes yet, but Blaine is very loosely based on a real student I worked with for three years. His issues were more complex than Blaine's but he inspired Blaine's particular issue with being in proximity to other people. It isn't an issue I see a lot among my students (if anything, some of them have the opposite problem and need to be explicitly taught how to respect personal space because they will get way too close otherwise) so I was always a little intrigued by his behavior. It was always like pulling teeth trying to get him to sit with the rest of the students. If everyone was at desks in a circle, this guy wanted to be at the teacher's desk in the corner. If you sat him next to someone, he would spend the class period slowly rolling his chair further and further away. I thought it would be an interesting thing to play with in this story, especially how Kurt might interpret that as Blaine initially disliking him. I'm attributing this to sensory integration but honestly that is just my (and his other teachers') best guess about why this particular kid had this particular quirk with being near others.</p><p>I hope I've explained this sufficiently; it's a complex topic and I really can't do it justice in an author's note so this is a gross oversimplification but hopefully enough to be a little more informed.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. What Matters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Correction: The "coming up next" I posted with Chapter 9 did not turn out to be accurate (whoops!). I did some restructuring of the next few chapters which resulted in that storyline getting bumped to Chapter 10. Instead, please enjoy this short and sweet chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“It is seriously unfair that you look </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> good so early in the morning,” Blaine complains as he watches Kurt touch up his hair in his locker mirror before school.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kurt blushes as he sets his can of hairspray aside. “It’s a gift,” he says impishly, still reveling in the new thrill of flirting with his </span>
  <em>
    <span>boyfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Heck, you even looked good surrounded by trash the first time we met.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blaine’s words have Kurt wondering just how long Blaine has had a crush on him. Surely it can’t have started that far back; Blaine obviously couldn’t stand him back then. Right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning, boys!” Rachel calls out in a sing-song voice. She throws an arm around Kurt’s waist and pulls him to her side, squeezing tightly. She starts to release him, stepping towards Blaine, but Kurt tightens his hold on her. “Don’t maul my boyfriend,” he scolds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel’s forehead wrinkles in disappointed confusion but she relents, remaining glued to Kurt’s side instead. Blaine gives him a grateful look. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I promise I don’t bite.” She holds her hands up defensively.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She absolutely does,” Kurt stage whispers to Blaine. “Don’t worry; I’ll protect you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel huffs. “Well, I can see when I’m not wanted.” She considers Kurt and Blaine for a moment and then a flash of recognition passes over her face and her lips curl into a knowing grin. “Oh, I get it now. I’ll give you boys some time to, uh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>catch up</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She waggles her eyebrows suggestively and skips off before Kurt can correct her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kurt rolls his eyes. “Sorry about her. She wouldn’t know subtle if it bit her in the ass. Actually, knowing her, she would think biting someone in the ass </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> subtle.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blaine snorts and then steps closer to Kurt. He hesitates for a moment and then closes the rest of the distance between them and wraps his arms around Kurt. Kurt returns the embrace, burying his nose in Blaine’s curls and enjoying the smell of his shampoo and the soft tickle of his hair on Kurt’s cheek. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, am I doing okay so far with not ignoring you at school?” Blaine asks, teasing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Definitely,” Kurt replies with a grin. “What about me? I’m not exactly giving you space at the moment.” He loosens his hold on Blaine, ready to end their embrace but Blaine responds by tightening his arms around Kurt’s waist. Kurt smiles into Blaine’s hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t exactly want space right now...at least not from you.” Blaine’s breath tickles as he whispers in Kurt’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine. Kurt wants to hold on longer but finally pulls back, not wanting to attract too much attention. He would rather not have their next date in the dumpster, after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, Kurt, I’m not really used to talking about this stuff with people but I don’t expect you to be a mind-reader. I’ll, um, I’ll do my best to say something if it’s...if I need some space or something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kurt returns Blaine’s shy smile. “Thanks. I’m sorry about Rachel, she can be a little hard to derail.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe for some people but clearly not for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lots of practice. Lots and lots of practice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So are there like...I dunno, specific places or times or something that I should know about?” Blaine had said he would let Kurt know but he figures it can’t hurt to have some foreknowledge. He wants to be a good boyfriend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean you already know I don’t do well in the cafeteria, but…hmm, let me think…” Blaine pauses, his eyes focusing somewhere past Kurt’s head as he turns something over in his mind. Kurt finds it interesting that Blaine doesn’t already know the answer to this question but he supposes that maybe Blaine has never had to explain this to someone else before. “I guess it can happen when I’m upset too. But it’s...a little unpredictable. I mean sometimes I might appreciate a hug or something but other times I might not want anyone to get close. Even you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Am I—I mean I don’t want to sound self-involved but it sounds like—am I different from other people? You know, because we’re dating?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blaine cocks his head to the side and raises an eyebrow. “I dunno. Do you want to touch other people as much as you want to touch me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kurt flushes pink. “Touché.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blaine glances at his watch and then sighs wistfully. “I wish I could stay longer but I actually need to go check in with Ms. Pillsbury before first period; I’ll see you later.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kurt gives his hand a squeeze before releasing it. As Blaine walks away and weaves his way through the crowded hallway, his body tenses up and becomes stiff. For the first time, Kurt really notices the way he jerks and sidesteps to keep away from oncoming traffic, doing anything to avoid bumping into the other students. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kurt leans back against his locker and considers the new layer of understanding he now has of Blaine. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blaine compared how he felt—his “sensory processing” issues—to claustrophobia but the metaphor doesn’t do much to help Kurt understand because Kurt isn’t claustrophobic. He considers the word ‘phobia,’ a concept he’s familiar with at least, even if he’s never had cause to linger on it before. He is pretty sure there are dozens of phobias but besides claustrophobia, the only one he can think of is arachnophobia; the fear of spiders. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kurt doesn’t consider himself arachnophobic per se, but he is not a fan of bugs. It’s the biggest downside to living in the basement; there are a lot of bugs. He has dealt with ants, spiders, moths...but by far the worst are the centipedes with their long spindly legs and quick moving bodies; he gets an uncomfortable, squirmy feeling just thinking about them. He feels the muscles in his shoulders tense up and his body curl inwards. He realizes this is a familiar pose; he’s seen Blaine stand like this before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thought of feeling this way all day, every day at school is enough to make him feel sick. His heart aches with sympathy for Blaine, who has this extra burden to bear on top of the usual strife of getting through high school as a teenager.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kurt remembers the first time he was partnered with Blaine to work together on a school project. Blaine had seemed so hostile that Kurt had just assumed Blaine disliked him back then. But considered through this new lens, it occurs to him that the way Blaine had scooted his chair away from Kurt and the edge to his voice may have had very little to do with how Blaine felt about Kurt as a person. He remembers the way Blaine had freaked out when Kurt reached for his laptop… the laptop that Kurt now realizes is essential for making Blaine’s schoolwork doable. Without that computer, and the special software the school installed for him, he would be doing work by hand. Given how his dyslexia makes spelling incredibly difficult for him, Kurt can only imagine how well that would go. No wonder Blaine is protective of his computer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kurt is shaken out of his reverie by the blaring of the warning bell; he slings the strap of his bookbag over his shoulder and heads to class. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you disappointed that I won’t eat lunch with you?” Blaine asks, setting aside his laptop and stretching.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kurt looks up from his textbook. They are doing homework together at Blaine’s house, sitting in comfortable silence. Kurt isn’t sure where this question is coming from so it takes him a moment to answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t want to hurt Blaine’s feelings or make it sound like he’s angry at Blaine; he knows that he can’t relate to Blaine’s experience but he wants to convey somehow that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>gets it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. At the same time, he doesn’t want Blaine to think that Kurt doesn’t care at all lest it come across as Kurt not caring about </span>
  <em>
    <span>Blaine.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” he says reassuringly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blaine frowns; apparently this was not the answer he was looking for. “It’s not fine, though, is it? Not really. Everyone else at that school who has coupled up are together all the time. But here I am acting like I’m so disinterested in my boyfriend that I can’t bother to chat with him over sandwiches for thirty minutes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you?” Kurt asks, trying to sound playful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Blaine asks in horror. “Of course, not. I could talk to you for hours without getting bored.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, like I said, it’s fine. We have other chances to spend time together. Like right now, for instance. Where is this coming from, Blaine? Since when do you think or care about what everyone else in the school thinks of you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blaine sighs and walks over to sit next to Kurt on his bed. “I don’t care, not really. But… well, you care, don’t you? And I care about </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> even if the rest of them can go to hell. So if what they think affects how you feel...then I guess I have to start caring what they think.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Blaine, when you say things like that, it’s hard to believe I ever thought you were a ne'er-do-well.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blaine looks so concerned and sounds so sincere that Kurt is briefly overwhelmed by it. They have been officially together for a week and it is just starting to sink in that Blaine, who despises nearly everyone, has somehow decided that Kurt is worthy of his attention. Being the exception feels special, but also a little bit frightening. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes Kurt imagines the moment when the novelty will wear off for Blaine. He imagines Blaine’s smile—the one that lights up the room—twisting into a sneer of disdain. It hurts to think about, but how well does Blaine really know him? Most people who </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> get to know him conclude that he is just too weird to keep spending time with. Everyone except for Rachel. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This thing between them is still so new that it feels fragile sometimes, when Kurt thinks about it too much. It hits him, in that moment, just how much he likes Blaine. He really, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> likes him. It pulls and twists at his insides just how much he likes Blaine. Because already, even after a week, the thought of losing him hurts more than Kurt is ready for.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But there is no reason to let his thoughts wander in that direction; Blaine has done nothing to indicate that his feelings about Kurt have changed. If anything, he seems committed to showing how much he cares and to making sure that Kurt is happy. How does he explain that this doesn’t matter to him the way Blaine thinks it does? While still making it clear that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Blaine</span>
  </em>
  <span> matters. And Blaine </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> matter. Kurt is just starting to realize exactly how terrifyingly much he matters.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and holds it firmly in his, hoping it will add weight to his words. “Would I love to have you sit with me at lunch at school? Absolutely. Like you said, we have fun hanging out together and I’m sure if things were different, we would have fun doing that over questionable cafeteria food just as well as any other time. However, I don’t think I would enjoy myself at all because you would be wildly uncomfortable and somehow I imagine the conversation wouldn’t be nearly as stimulating under those circumstances. I care about you too, which means I have no desire to torment you just so we fit into everyone else’s idea of what a couple looks like. I care about what we </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not what we look like.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blaine beams at him before pulling him in for a kiss. If Kurt was overwhelmed before, then it is nothing compared to this.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong>Thank you to my beta readers <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a>, who matter so much! </strong> </p>
<p>Thank you for all of your comments! It has been so much fun to watch the readership for this story grow bit by bit each week. There is a special energy that comes from people reading along with me as I post; I always feel like we are on this journey together :) Your feedback means everything to me!</p>
<p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p>
<p><strong>Coming Up Next: Bullies make their opinion known about Kurt and Blaine's new relationship </strong> (I swear this time it really is coming up next)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Back to the Start</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content warning: homophobic language, discussions of bullying</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After their second week of dating, they have already established a routine. Blaine, Rachel, and Kurt meet up by Kurt’s locker in the morning. Kurt occasionally runs interference to keep Rachel out of Blaine’s personal space. At lunch, Kurt and Rachel sit at their usual table and exchange a friendly wave with Blaine from across the room, where he still sits alone on the radiator. Most school nights, after Blaine is done with therapy, one of them ends up at the other’s house to do homework and watch movies.</p><p>Kurt decides that since Blaine shared one of his big interests with him, it is his turn to do the same. He gets them tickets to see <em> RENT </em> at the local repertory theater that weekend. Blaine admits to never having seen a musical theater production but seems game to give it a try. Kurt hopes he doesn’t completely hate it but has faith that even if he does, it won’t ruin their night. If nothing else, they can both enjoy holding hands in a dark theater for two hours. Blaine ends up loving it and starts playing the soundtrack on repeat in his car.</p><p>All in all, Kurt is feeling happier than he can remember. His social circle has doubled in size, Rachel and Blaine are at least tolerating each other, and everything with Blaine feels fresh and exciting. </p><p>He should have known it was only a matter of time before the bubble popped.</p><p>The first sign of trouble is when Azimio figures out they are dating. Kurt and Blaine are walking down the hallway to their lockers at the end of the day when out of nowhere Azimio appears, double-fisting orange slushies.</p><p>“Two for one special,” he jeers and Kurt has just enough time to squeeze his eyes shut before the wave of cold slaps him in the face. He drags Blaine with him into the girl’s restroom and begins picking the chunks of ice out of their hair. Blaine’s mouth seems to have been frozen by the cold drink into a shocked ‘o’ shape of surprise. </p><p>“Is this your first time?” Kurt asks as the realization hits him.</p><p>Blaine nods silently, his face twisted into a grimace.</p><p>“Shit; I’m sorry. I guess this is my fault.”</p><p>Blaine shakes his head. “Pretty sure it’s Azimio’s fault.”</p><p>“Come here, I’ll show you how to get this stuff off.” Kurt gently wipes the ice and dye off of Blaine’s face with wet paper towels before pulling out his emergency stash of Neutrogena makeup removing wipes; they are the only thing he has found that can fully take the stain out of his skin. Blaine lets out a sigh of relief as the orange tint fades from his cheeks with each pass Kurt does with the wipe.</p><p>“Thank god, Kurt. I thought I was going to be stuck looking like an Oompa Loompa all day.”</p><p>“Stick with me, kid.” </p><p>Blaine snorts in response.</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt tries again to apologize for exposing Blaine to more bullying than he already had to deal with, but his boyfriend keeps insisting that it isn’t a big deal. </p><p>Blaine still seems worried that there will be backlash for Kurt as well, that the other shoe has yet to drop. Kurt tries not to worry about it. He tells himself it was nothing. </p><p>He tells himself it was nothing as he jumps every time Rachel catches him by surprise.</p><p>He tells himself it was nothing when he can’t even make eye contact with Azimio anymore. </p><p>He tells himself it was nothing when Azimio and Trey Wilds both get a little too close to him walking by his locker one morning, snickering when he flattens his body into the metal, trying to get away from them.</p><p>
  <em> It was nothing. </em>
</p><p>Then one Thursday Kurt can’t find his sheet music for Glee club. He is supposed to audition for a solo today but his neatly organized binder of music is suddenly nowhere to be found.</p><p>“Rachel, did you borrow my Glee notebook?” he asks her as he shuffles through the contents of his locker, hoping that he has just overlooked it. But, of course, it’s still not there.</p><p>She gives him a puzzled look and shakes her head.</p><p>“No, I wouldn’t do that without asking. Why?”</p><p>Kurt sighs. “I can’t find mine. I’m sure I just left it at home.”</p><p>“When did you see it last?” Blaine asks.</p><p>“I was practicing my audition after school yesterday and I <em> thought </em> I just put it on the Glee Club shelf where Mr. Shue keeps the extra copies, since I was going to be using it in there again today, but… I mean I guess I could be misremembering.”</p><p>Blaine frowns.</p><p>Kurt turns to put his books back into his locker when a hand reaches out and knocks them onto the floor.</p><p>He whirls around to see Azimio’s hulking frame. “Gleek trash,” he calls out over his shoulder.</p><p>Blaine is shaking, fists clenched to his sides.</p><p>“Kurt are you all right?” Rachel asks.</p><p>Kurt picks up his books. “I’m fine.” He glances over at Blaine whose nostrils are flaring, more worried about his boyfriend than about himself.</p><p>“Meet me after school,” Blaine says quietly.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I think I know what happened to your music binder. Just meet me after school and we’ll go look for it.”</p><p>“Um, okay. Are you… is everything okay?”</p><p>“Sure, Azimio’s just an asshole. What else is new?”</p><p>Kurt reaches out to take his hand, hoping to comfort Blaine, but the boy ever so slightly shakes his head no.</p><p>
  <em> Oh, he needs space. </em>
</p><p>Kurt nods his understanding.</p><p>“Oh, and you should probably change into your gym clothes.”</p><p>“Blaine, please tell me you are not planning to fight him!”</p><p>“What? No, of course not.”</p><p>
  <em> Then what are you planning? </em>
</p><p>—</p><p>Blaine is already waiting for him when Kurt arrives, somewhat begrudgingly wearing gym clothes. Blaine’s still in his regular outfit: slate grey jeans and a black t-shirt with a yellow and white design that Kurt now knows Blaine ordered online from an artist whose work he had seen featured in a gallery a few years ago. </p><p>“Ready to go dumpster diving, babe?” Blaine asks a little too cheerfully.</p><p>“I’m sorry, what now?” Kurt asks with growing alarm.</p><p>“Trust me, I’d rather not go in there on purpose either but it’s really the only shot we have at getting your binder back.”</p><p>“My binder is… in the dumpster? Why would my binder be in the dumpster?” Kurt feels like he has missed a step.</p><p>“I guess it might not be, but that’s always where my stuff seems to end up whenever Azimio takes it, and then he called you ‘trash’ this morning and it got me thinking.” Blaine explains this with a shrug.</p><p>“Wait, Azimio takes your stuff?”</p><p>“Well, not lately, but yeah, he used to do it all the time when we were younger. In middle school he used to put my school books in the dumpster. He said it was because I couldn’t read them anyways.”</p><p>Kurt stares at him in horror. “Did he, you know, know? About your dyslexia? Because that’s just cruel.”</p><p>Blaine shrugs. “Mmm, I dunno if he knows I was diagnosed with dyslexia but he certainly noticed I had problems with reading. He lives in the same neighborhood as me so we’ve been in school together since Kindergarten, since before I started refusing to read out loud in class.”</p><p>“Oh no, what, um, what happened?”</p><p>“Well, I wasn’t very good at it,” Blaine says with a wry laugh. “In third grade I was still trying to get along as best I could, but I was sounding out words the rest of the class knew by sight so I was easy to laugh at. Azimio wasn’t the only one, he was just the loudest.”</p><p>Kurt feels a lump form in his throat at the thought of a class full of children laughing at his boyfriend. “I...I’m so sorry, Blaine.”</p><p>Blaine shrugs. “Come on, stop stalling. It’s time to get down and dirty in the dumpster, Hummel.”</p><p>“Blaine!” Kurt shrieks in a scandalized tone.</p><p>Blaine just grins at him before leading the way to the parking lot out back where the dumpsters are. Kurt warily surveys the industrial size dumpster, still wrapping his head around the idea that he’s about to go in there on purpose.</p><p>Kurt considers the high wall of the dumpster and then glances over to his boyfriend. Before he figures out how to broach the topic, Blaine just comes right out and asks, "Give me a boost?”</p><p>Kurt smiles. “How bad is it that I just got sentimental about the first time we were both in this dumpster?” He squats down next to the wall of the dumpster and pats his thigh, a silent invitation for Blaine to use it as a step. </p><p>“I’m in no position to judge,” Blaine counters, stepping gingerly onto Kurt’s leg and taking the hands Kurt offers him. Once Blaine is up, Kurt is suddenly faced with the choice of grasping him by the backs of his thighs or his actual ass. He shakes his head because this is not the <em> time </em> and just reaches up vowing to hold Blaine wherever feels the safest and <em> not think about that. </em> He ends up supporting Blaine by his legs and then suddenly Blaine needs him to grasp higher and <em> wow that’s a firm butt </em> and then Blaine is over the wall and into the dumpster. </p><p>Kurt takes a deep breath as he walks a few paces back, needing a running start if he’s going to make it on his own. </p><p>“Incoming!” he calls out to warn Blaine before catapulting himself up and over the dumpster wall. For once, neither of them lands on the other. On the plus side, by the end of the day the dumpster is getting fuller and the bags of garbage make for a soft landing. On the down side, the dumpster being full means there is a lot to sift through and they will only lose daylight from here.</p><p>Kurt reluctantly starts to turn over bags of garbage, searching through the occasional loose item for his familiar binder of sheet music. </p><p>“Remind me, is this the black binder or the red one?”</p><p>Kurt smiles to himself, liking that Blaine notices stuff like that.</p><p>“The black one, unfortunately. It won’t be easy to find.”</p><p>Kurt reluctantly starts to turn over bags of garbage, searching through the occasional loose item for his familiar binder of sheet music. He is thankful that according to Blaine, at least, Azimio tends to chuck stolen items directly into the dumpster, so they don’t need to open up any of the bagged garage. If they had had to do that, Kurt would have just taken the loss and repurchased all of his music at that point or made technically illegal copies of Rachel’s. But he thinks he can find it and his copies have all of his personal notes on them, which would be a huge pain to redo. He has his own special system for marking the notes that no one else but him uses. </p><p>“Is this it?”</p><p>“No, Blaine, that is…is that a bra?” he asks in horror.</p><p>Blaine snickers and shrugs, as if this is just now coming to his attention.</p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes. “You are a child.”</p><p>“If I was a child, would you let me do this?” he asks saucily and then plants his lips on Kurt’s. Kurt shoves him backwards.</p><p>“Ew, there could be <em> garbage </em> on those, Blaine!”</p><p>“That didn’t bother you the last time,” he says with a smirk.</p><p>“Yes, well, the last time I was a bit stunned by my first kiss so I can be forgiven for overlooking a few things. Like how immature you are,” he teases.</p><p>Blaine pouts, his lower lip quivering in an overdone display of pretend hurt. “You know you love it.”</p><p><em> You know that you love me. </em> </p><p>Kurt coughs, suddenly feeling awkward. “I—y-yeah, I do. Now find me something that isn’t lingerie.”</p><p>They search in silence for a few minutes and Kurt begins to wonder if this endeavor is doomed to failure. His thoughts drift to the newest revelation that Azimio has been bullying Blaine since Elementary school. He feels angry just thinking about it but he also has a lot of unanswered questions. </p><p>“Is it, um, is it alright for me to ask about what happened when you were younger?” Kurt asks hesitantly. “I’m curious, but you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”</p><p>Blaine smiled at him. “No, it’s fine. I, um, I don’t mind. I like that you want to get to know me better.”</p><p>“You said you refused to read out loud after a while? What do you mean exactly?”</p><p>Blaine laughs again. “Oh, you’re going to be a little smug about this but, oh well. So I know I’ve been very insistent that I’m not some type of ruffian but...the thing is...there <em> was </em>a time when that was closer to the truth.”</p><p>Kurt smiles at how Blaine seems able to laugh about this. He nods encouragingly for Blaine to continue.</p><p>“Well, it was humiliating trying and failing in front of my peers that many times. Everyone thought I was dumb. My third grade teacher at least tried to help me, but when I started fourth grade I had this horrible teacher named Ms. Arciba who acted like I was just choosing to be bad at reading. She told my dad I wasn’t trying hard enough, that I didn’t take school seriously. It seemed like no matter what I did the adults in my life weren’t satisfied with me; at least when I started mouthing off when they asked me to read, the rest of the kids were cheering me on instead of laughing. I know it sounds stupid,  Kurt, but it felt like an improvement. I finally felt like I had some control back, you know? Plus I was just so angry about everything that it felt good to have an outlet.”</p><p>“My god, Blaine, that sounds horrible. I’m so sorry you went through that.”</p><p>Blaine shrugs off Kurt’s words, but the soft look in his eyes tells Kurt that Blaine has taken his words to heart.</p><p>“When we started sixth grade, I had something of a reputation as an angry kid. Azimio bullied a lot of people but I was an easy target because he could always get a reaction from me. I should really thank him because it was all those disciplinary referrals that finally got the school’s attention. They thought I should be on mood stabilizers but my parents insisted on getting a full work-up done by a private doctor. It was quite the shock to everyone when it turned out I had an undiagnosed learning disability instead of some kind of emotional disorder.”</p><p>“Wow, that...Blaine, why didn’t you tell anyone? That you couldn’t read, I mean? Wouldn’t they have helped you sooner?” </p><p>Blaine narrows his eyes and tenses his lips. Kurt wonders if he’s gone too far. “They <em> did </em> know. Or, at least, I thought they knew! I mean, there were all these parent-teacher conferences about how poorly I was doing in school. It wasn’t exactly a secret. I guess I just thought I was dumb too.”</p><p>“That’s...Blaine, that’s ridiculous!”</p><p>Blaine raises an eyebrow at him and crosses his arms.</p><p>Kurt revises. “What I mean to say is...I hate that you felt that way about yourself. That you didn’t know how smart you are. It was obvious to me from the first time we worked together in class that you’re clever. I wish people hadn’t worn you down to the point where you didn’t know that about yourself anymore.”</p><p>Blaine is mollified by Kurt’s words and continues. “It was such a relief to finally have an answer, to have something I could point to that explained why everything had always felt so unfairly <em> hard </em> for me for so many years. That doctor really changed my life. I started getting really intensive reading therapy with a dyslexia specialist; I did it every day for the first two years, which was exhausting, but it really helped. I got my laptop and they taught me how to use word prediction and dictation software so my writing was actually intelligible to my teachers. I got accommodations so teachers had to give me digital copies of all my textbooks so I could use screen reading technology and audiobooks of all the class novels. I, uh, I got my first ‘A’ last year. My mom cried when she saw it. I even started to get my temper and my sensory stuff under control a little bit.”</p><p>“Wow, that’s...that’s amazing. I’m so happy you got so much help. That must have been a lot of work.”</p><p>“It was. And I acted up a lot at first, too. Because they were asking me to do things that were hard and that was the only way of coping that I knew. But these therapists were different from my old teachers. They had seen hundreds of angry dyslexic kids like me and they actually understood where my anger came from. Little by little they built my confidence back up, showed me that if I worked hard again, that <em> this </em> time it would be different. This time my hard work would actually yield results. Once I saw that they were right, I settled down a lot. Learning was actually something I wanted to do when I could see that it was working.”</p><p>“So, did Azimio ever leave you alone?”</p><p>Blaine shook his head. “No, not really. I guess bullies like him get nervous when the losers start to rise up; it threatens their place or something, I don’t know. After I stopped having books he could take, he started telling all the substitute teachers that I loved to read out loud just to set me up.”</p><p>“What a dick!” </p><p>CLANG CLANG CLANG</p><p>A loud metallic thudding reverberates in his ears; someone is knocking on the outside wall of the dumpster. Kurt leaps up to peer over the wall of the dumpster and Blaine joins him a moment later, able to get high enough on the pile of garbage to see over the top.</p><p>Below them are Trey, Azimio, and Karofsky.</p><p>Kurt gulps. </p><p>“Well, boys, look what we have here. Self-dumpstering homos! We don’t even have to toss them in, they just know where they belong, would you look at that!” Trey seems very pleased with himself.</p><p>“Yes, we’re already here, so you can move along now gentlemen,” Kurt says, his voice coming out higher than usual. He just wants them to go away. He’s proud of himself for at least saying <em> something </em> this time; better his voice breaking than failing him completely.</p><p>“But then we would miss the show,” Trey says with a sneer, shading his eyes as he looks up at Kurt.</p><p>Kurt has never before been taller than Trey, Azimio, or Karofsky but perched on the edge of the dumpster, he feels strangely empowered.</p><p>“Kurt, honey, are you into exhibitionism? Sounds like the boys want us to put on a show? I don’t know if it’s really my thing but I’m game if you want to.”</p><p>“Don’t you fucking dare,” Karofsky hisses, a frightened expression on his face. </p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes. “Well, then what kind of show <em> were </em> you hoping to watch? Were you hoping for a musical performance? Get your pal Azimio to tell me which quadrant of this hellhole he threw my music into and maybe you’ll get lucky.”</p><p>“No, I was hoping you would give up on this Glee bullshit,” Azimio responds.</p><p>“Wow, okay, I mean that’s just idiotic. And you know what? I’m starting to think that the fact that you all are so threatened by us really says more about you than it does about us.”</p><p>“Hey, B!” a cheerful voice calls out from somewhere to Kurt’s left. He looks over and realizes that it’s Sarah.</p><p>
  <em> Shit. </em>
</p><p>Trey, Azimio, and Karofsky all turn to look at her. Her perfectly pressed sundress brings out the blue in her eyes. She looks beautiful as always.</p><p>“What are you doing out here, Sarah?” Blaine asks. His tone is light but Kurt can see the veins standing out on his forearms from gripping the edge of the dumpster a little too tightly.</p><p>“Going to the bus. I heard talking so I comed—I mean, I came—over.” Her smile would be radiant if it weren’t ever so slightly too wide. “Why you in the trash, Blaine? That’s silly.”</p><p>Blaine laughs. “Kurt lost something and we’re trying to find it.”</p><p>“I can help?” she asks.</p><p>“That’s very kind of you to offer Sarah, but I think we have it covered,” Kurt responds.</p><p>Sarah cocks her head to the side and just looks blankly at Kurt.</p><p>“No, thank you,” Blaine adds. Sarah nods, as if now her question has been answered.</p><p>“Looks like they don’t need your help, Sarah. Why don’t I give you a ride home?” Trey’s offer makes Kurt gag.</p><p>“No, thank you!” she says cheerfully. “I take the bus home.”</p><p>
  <em> Good job, Sarah. </em>
</p><p>“You would get home faster if I drove you, though. The bus has to make all those stops but I would take you straight home.”</p><p>Sarah’s smile does not falter. Kurt can only assume she is blissfully ignorant of Trey’s questionable intentions. It’s clear to him how dangerous that makes things for her, but he can’t help feeling a pang of jealousy for how positive her world view must be.</p><p>“I take the bus home,” she repeats. “Are you teasing B?” she asks, putting her hands on her hips. “Don’t be mean or I won’t be your friend.”</p><p>Kurt glances over at Blaine and sees that he is grinning cheekily.</p><p>Trey looks furious.</p><p>“Hey Trey, can you help us find Kurt’s music binder?” Blaine asks.</p><p>
  <em> What are you doing, Blaine?! </em>
</p><p>Trey’s jaw drops in confusion.</p><p>“Don’t be mean,” Blaine adds, raising an eyebrow. </p><p>Kurt claps a hand to his mouth when he realizes what Blaine is doing. He wonders if this will really work.</p><p>“Yeah, Trey, don’t be mean,” Sarah repeats.</p><p>Trey glances over at Sarah and then back to Blaine and Kurt, uncertainly. </p><p>“Uh…”</p><p>Azimio finally breaks. “For crying out loud, are you serious dude?” Trey doesn’t respond. Azimio huffs in exasperation. “The binder’s in the recycling, man. Save the Earth, right?”</p><p>“Right,” Kurt says dryly.</p><p>Kurt and Blaine scramble up onto the ledge of the dumpster, swing their legs over the side, and then jump down as softly as they can manage. Blaine grunts quietly when he lands and Kurt checks to make sure he hasn’t fallen or rolled an ankle. </p><p>The recycling is much smaller—it is Ohio after all—so Kurt’s binder is located in no time. Sarah heads off to her bus and it doesn’t take long for Azimio, Karofsky, and Trey to disperse.</p><p>Kurt lets out a victorious shout when he <em> finally </em> finds his music binder. Blaine cheers.</p><p>“Who knew Azimio was such an environmentalist?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong>Thank you to my beta readers <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> for all of your help restructuring this section of the story!</strong> </p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p> <strong>Coming Up Next: In which Kurt really doesn't like Chili Day</strong></p><p> <strong>VARIOUS &amp; SUNDRY<br/>References</strong><br/>Ms. Arciba is named after an awful teacher my dear beta-reader Aly had. Fuck you, Ms. Arciba!</p><p><strong>Of Dumpsters and Ovens</strong><br/>When writing this chapter, I found myself worrying that I was imagining dumpsters to be much larger than the really are. If you've seen the cover art for this story, then you know the dumpster on the show only comes up to Kurt's torso. Since I made a whole thing about how it was hard for them to climb in and out of the dumpsters, I started to wonder if I was being unrealistic. So I went down the rabbit whole of fic research which led me to this truly bizarre graphic:</p><p> </p><p> So 1) yes, dumpsters can really be big enough that its hard to climb in and out, and 2) apparently someone thought it was normal to measure a dumpster in ovens and now that is my favorite unit of measure. For more oven insanity, feel free to check out my tumblr.</p><p><strong>Of Anger and LD</strong><br/>I hope that the history I've constructed for Blaine gives some insight into how someone with dyslexia could end up very angry. It's a story that I made up but it is based on some of things I have heard from my students about their experiences in school when they were younger of being bullied by other students and misunderstood by teachers. In some cases, my students have been traumatized by these experiences which adds a whole second layer to their special needs at school. We have some very special programming and supports at my school that makes us a very good fit for students who have this history and one of the greatest pleasures has been hearing from parents about how this is the first time their child has actually been excited to go to school. If you want more information, below are a few paragraphs from an article I found online that I thought summarized these issues much better than I can (http://www.ldonline.org/article/19296/):</p><blockquote>
  <p>...the majority of dyslexic preschoolers are happy and well adjusted. Their emotional problems begin to develop when early reading instruction does not match their learning style. Over the years, the frustration mounts as classmates surpass the dyslexic student in reading skills. </p>
  <p>Why is dyslexia discouraging and frustrating?<br/>The frustration of children with dyslexia often centers on their inability to meet expectations. Their parents and teachers see a bright, enthusiastic child who is not learning to read and write. Time and again, dyslexics and their parents hear, "He's such a bright child; if only he would try harder." Ironically, no one knows exactly how hard the dyslexic is trying.</p>
  <p>The pain of failing to meet other people's expectations is surpassed only by dyslexics' inability to achieve their goals. This is particularly true of those who develop perfectionistic expectations in order to deal with their anxiety. They grow up believing that it is "terrible" to make a mistake.</p>
  <p>However, their learning disability, almost by definition means that these children will make many "careless" or "stupid" mistakes. This is extremely frustrating to them, as it makes them feel chronically inadequate.</p>
</blockquote>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chili Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kurt walks through the cafeteria line, wrinkling his nose at the unpalatable offerings. There is a large vat of steaming chili that sends billowing clouds of steam into the air each time the cafeteria staff members haul the heavy metal lid off to scoop some of the slop into a bowl. The chili is a popular choice at McKinley, but Kurt can’t figure out what type of meat they use, so he refuses to touch it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt looks for Blaine, but today the radiator is empty. He feels a brief sting of disappointment. Even if they don’t sit together, Kurt enjoys his presence; he enjoys exchanging smiles just for them from across the room. He remembers that Blaine said something about possibly spending lunch in the resource room so Ms. Pillsbury could help him with their novel for literature. He misses Blaine but he’s proud of how hard he works.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rachel picks despondently at her salad; the vegetarian offerings at McKinley leave a lot to be desired. “I hate chili day,” she complains.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt was at least able to get by with a chicken breast and some overcooked vegetables. Rachel’s plate looks like it was put together by a confused child: she has salad, french fries, and a cup of yoghurt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh look,” a voice sneers from off to Kurt’s right. “It’s the gutter gleeks.” Kurt’s head snaps up to find Azimio leering over them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt gulps. Maybe if he stays quiet Azimio will get bored and leave?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, no big mouth like your boyfriend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish Blaine was here. Blaine would know what to say.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pity. I heard he gets it from sucking so much d—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up!” Rachel cries, glaring up at Azimio. “What did Kurt ever do to you, anyways?” She rises to her feet, still piteously tiny next to Azimio, but at least she’s trying. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Even Rachel is braver than me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt hopes the floor will swallow him whole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hummel’s so weak he needs a </span>
  <em>
    <span>girl</span>
  </em>
  <span> to protect him. Pathetic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, he has me to protect him, so get lost. Unless you think it’s a good look to be seen hitting a </span>
  <em>
    <span>girl</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Rachel grits her teeth, eyes flashing. Kurt has never seen her like this. She looks angry and determined. Kurt has never loved her quite as much as he loves her in this moment. They sure can get on one another’s nerves, but she has his back when it counts and that is what friends are for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just lucky I have principles,” Azimio spits out. Kurt almost laughs from the absurdity of the sentiment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks up to see Rachel glaring at Azimio’s retreating frame. He reaches for her hand—he discovers his own hands are trembling—and clasps it between both of his. He holds on to Rachel tightly, as if she is the only thing anchoring him to the ground. She smiles and squeezes back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt has no words. He does not know how to express his gratitude for her actions and for her friendship. So he just holds tight to her hand and hopes somehow his eyes are getting the message across.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rachel beams at him, looking very pleased with herself. “Who knew my feminine fragility was such a superpower? Wait, Kurt, did I just weaponize misogyny? Because that rocks!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt snorts and he feels like he can breathe again. “Yeah, I think you did, Rach.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt would rather forget the events in the cafeteria, but Rachel has different ideas. She proudly boasts of her exploits in Glee club and Kurt can’t seem to convince her to stop making such a big deal about it. He even feels a flash of embarrassment that a girl stood up for him, which he immediately chastises himself for. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If men and women are equal then why shouldn’t a girl stand up for me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>That kind of thinking isn’t in line with his values, but sometimes those are easier said than internalized, and his emotions still react the way society has socialized them to. At least he can control his words and actions, even if his heart betrays him occasionally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The real horror doesn’t come until after Glee club, when Kurt is delighted to find Blaine waiting for him just outside the choir room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He runs up to his boyfriend and throws his arms around his neck. “Blaine! What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My, uh, my </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span> got cancelled so I thought I’d hang back and surprise you. Maybe even get to overhear a little of this music I’ve heard rumor of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt’s heart soars knowing that Blaine stayed at school an extra hour just so he could surprise Kurt. Blaine presses a kiss against his cheek and Kurt feels himself smiling like an idiot. He lets go of Blaine and turns to see about introducing his boyfriend to some of his fellow Glee club members.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Finn beats him to it. “You must be Blaine, right? Kurt’s boyfriend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blaine smiles and reaches out his hand to shake Finn’s, but Finn’s hands remain in his pockets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So where </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> you today?” Finn demands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt’s eyes grow wide. This is not what he wanted; this is not how he wanted to tell Blaine what happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blaine looks over at him in confusion. Kurt isn’t sure what to say and so he says nothing; instead gaping idiotically like a displaced carp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about?” Blaine asks, an edge creeping into his voice. It takes Kurt a moment to recognize it as fear rather than anger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At lunch. When all </span>
  <em>
    <span>one hundred pounds</span>
  </em>
  <span> of Rachel Berry was the one to protect </span>
  <em>
    <span>your boyfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span> from fucking Azimio. You should have been there! Rachel could have gotten </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blaine leans back in surprise, eyes flickering from Finn, to Rachel, to Kurt, and back to Finn in bewilderment. “I…what? I didn’t—no one told me.” He turns to Kurt, demanding an explanation. “What in the hell is he talking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rachel places a steadying hand in the center of Finn’s chest. “Down boy. There was a minor, ehem, incident at lunch today but we handled it. I’m sure you would have helped if you had been there, Blaine, we know that. Right, Kurt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt blinks a few times in surprise before answering. “Of course.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blaine gives him a searching look, like he doesn’t quite believe Kurt. “I just…Finn, I appreciate your concern, but this is really none of your business. Blaine, we should… we need to talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blaine bites his lip and nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finn takes a step backwards and lets out a loud exhalation. “If that’s what you want, Kurt.” Puck and Mike, who have watched this all in quiet interest nod as well before departing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt lets out a sigh and reaches tentatively for Blaine’s hand, a little worried he won’t accept it. But, of course, he does. Blaine’s thumb swipes over his knuckle in a gesture that soothes Kurt’s frayed nerves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt leads them to his car as he starts to explain. “Look, you know how big of a drama queen Rachel can be; she exaggerated everything when she told the guys about it but it was really nothing. He didn’t even touch me, Blaine, really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But he was going to, wasn’t he? Or he said something?” Blaine’s thick eyebrows are furrowed together with concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, maybe, I don’t know. He just…I don’t even know where he was going with the whole thing he was just being a dick and Rachel shut him down before he really got going. You should have seen her, honestly!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should have </span>
  <em>
    <span>been</span>
  </em>
  <span> there, Kurt. Finn is right.” Blaine’s hand tightens around the fabric at the hem of his shirt, balling it up and squeezing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, Blaine, as much as I appreciate the thought, you’re my boyfriend, not my bodyguard. And apparently Rachel has that role covered. We’ve been over the lunch thing before and you need to do what’s best for you. Which today, if I remember correctly, was getting some extra help from Ms. Pillsbury on the unreadable sludge that is James Joyce.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blaine lets out a sigh and finally cracks a smile. “Right?! I mean half the time I swear it’s not English.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt hip checks Blaine, who checks him back, until they are both giggling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blaine gathers him into a hug when they arrive at Kurt’s car. He pulls back far enough to look Kurt in the eye, hands still around his neck. “I’m glad that you’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know. You big sap.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm, sweet? Sticky? Comes from a tree? That does sound like me, doesn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kurt chuckles until Blaine’s lips make that impossible.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong>Thank you to my beta readers <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> </strong> </p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p>It was a short one but I hope you enjoyed it! Next chapter will be a bit longer. I am making an effort to keep the chapters on the shorter side this time around so I guess I shouldn't apologize for it being short. Also *spoiler alert* at some point in the next few chapters you are going to get some Blaine POV!!! </p><p>
  <strong>Coming Up Next: everybody hates chili day (again)</strong>
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Special</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My apologies for the sort of late update (I don't have an official update day but it has been Friday or Saturday in the past so I realize people might expect that)! I was busy yesterday with getting the Halloween story put up and then with the actual holiday. </p>
<p>I hope everyone was able to enjoy a safe Halloween!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Maybe we should find somewhere else to eat?” Blaine asks softly.</p>
<p>“But we already ordered,” Kurt points out. </p>
<p>Blaine chuckles and kicks his foot under the table. Kurt’s cheeks flush. He glances around the Thai restaurant to see if anyone seems to notice or care that two teenage boys are out together on a date; if anyone does, they are keeping it to themselves.</p>
<p>“No, silly, not now! I meant at school...I was just thinking after today you might want to find an alternate location or something.”</p>
<p>“Do you think it will keep happening?” Kurt asks, trying and failing to hide his nervousness.</p>
<p>Blaine’s eyes soften and for a moment Kurt thinks he’s going to reach across the table and take his hand. He would like that, but… there are a lot of things that make him nervous these days. Blaine leans forward, looking him right in the eyes, and while he doesn’t take Kurt’s hand he does find Kurt’s foot under the table, this time hooking the toe of his boot around the back of Kurt’s ankle, locking them together. The warmth in Blaine’s eyes and the discreet physical contact are comforting; Kurt smiles gratefully.</p>
<p>Blaine grins in response. He lets out a sigh before answering Kurt’s question. “I’m not sure, to be honest. If he doesn’t, though, I have some ideas.”</p>
<p>“Ah, yes. Your mafia ties,” Kurt deadpans.</p>
<p>“Exactly.” Blaine’s eyes twinkle and he raises his eyebrows conspiratorially at Kurt. Logically, Kurt thinks he shouldn’t find this immature behavior endearing, but he does. He so, so does. Blaine is just adorable when he gets like this and especially knowing how guarded he can be at school, it is always a delight seeing him relaxed and loose like this.</p>
<p>“But seriously, if it ever gets bad you can probably hide out in the resource room with me. I know Lunch Bunch probably isn’t how you want to spend lunchtime but...it beats getting harassed.” </p>
<p>“I hope that won’t be necessary but… I don’t know why you are making Lunch Bunch sound so unpleasant; I don’t know about you but I had a lovely time the last time I was lucky enough to score an invitation.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Blaine sounds doubtful.</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>“Kurt Hummel, you really are something else, do you know that?” Blaine shakes his head in disbelief and smiles fondly at him.</p>
<p>“Keep telling me and maybe I’ll start to believe it.” Kurt’s tone is light but under the surface that small pearl of worry that perhaps Blaine will realize he’s wrong about Kurt twists deep in his gut. <em> Maybe to him I really am that special? </em> He wonders. Maybe it isn’t about some objective quality that makes him different from everyone else but rather...that to <em> Blaine </em> he is special and that is enough. Kurt knows that it would be enough for him.</p>
<p>Blaine ducks his head and when he looks back up there is pain in his eyes. Kurt cocks his head to the side, silently asking a question.</p>
<p>“I hate that this is happening to you, Kurt. I know you don’t need me to be your bodyguard but...is it okay that if you are scared I want to be there?”</p>
<p>Kurt’s heart cracks a little bit at that. “Yeah, Blaine, of course it is. I...I did wish you were there, to be honest. I..I always feel safe when you are around and...I felt frozen, Blaine. It was like my body forgot how to move.”</p>
<p>Blaine leans forward, a yearning in his eyes. “I wish we were somewhere else so I could hold you right now.”</p>
<p>Kurt is suddenly breathless. “Just hearing you say that is enough.”</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>“Have I mentioned how much I hate chili day?” Rachel moans.</p>
<p>“Dear lord, is it really chili day again?”</p>
<p>“I see I am the only one who actually reads the school newsletter which, among other things, lists the cafeteria menu for the upcoming week?”</p>
<p>“Uh, yep, that sounds about right. Why on earth would I read that? Besides, you always tell me anything newsworthy.”</p>
<p>Rachel sighs. “Only because you <em> refuse </em> to read it for yourself.”</p>
<p>“Seems like you’ve enabled this behavior, Rach.”</p>
<p>“Agh!” </p>
<p>Rachel losing her patience means she has won the unspoken game to see who can frustrate the other first. Kurt smiles in self-satisfaction. He does usually win. </p>
<p>“What is Blaine doing talking to <em> him </em>?” Rachel asks suddenly, pointing somewhere over Kurt’s left shoulder. He whirls around to see Blaine gesticulating wildly as he talks to Azimio; they are out of hearing range but Kurt can tell from the way Blaine holds his body that it isn’t a friendly conversation. As if such a thing were possible with Azimio.</p>
<p>Blaine gives Azimio a stern look of warning before turning on his heels. He looks surprised when he catches Kurt’s eye, almost as if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t be.</p>
<p>But the expression only lasts a moment and then Blaine is smiling, happy to see Kurt as always. He waves and walks over to join him and Rachel at the lockers.</p>
<p>“Staying out of trouble?” Rachel asks Blaine pointedly.</p>
<p>“Just having a little <em> chat </em> with Azimio about yesterday’s cafeteria showdown.”</p>
<p>Rachel nods approvingly. </p>
<p>“Do you think it worked?” Kurt asks, nervously.</p>
<p>Blaine shrugs. “Hard to say. I had to try, at least.”</p>
<p>Kurt smiles warmly at his boyfriend, appreciating the many ways he tries. He raises an eyebrow and Blaine nods ever so slightly back at him. </p>
<p>Permission acquired, Kurt reaches out and laces his fingers through Blaine’s. His hands are large and warm; they feel like safety and comfort. Blaine leans in to him and rests his head on Kurt’s shoulder. It was not so long ago, Kurt realizes, that he had obsessed over the briefest contact from Blaine. Kurt hums to himself in satisfaction and Blaine responds by pressing his lips to Kurt’s cheek.</p>
<p>Rachel lets out a sigh. “I really need to find a boyfriend so I can stop being the third wheel.”</p>
<p>— </p>
<p>Kurt and Rachel both grumble their way through the cafeteria line. There’s no chicken this time so Kurt ends up with a sad tray full of overcooked vegetables and cereal. Rachel is annoyingly smug that for once Kurt isn’t any better off than she is as a meat-eater.</p>
<p>“I’m glad that you finally understand how inflexible the offerings here are.”</p>
<p>Kurt settles into his seat across from Rachel and reflexively looks over to see if Blaine is here yet.</p>
<p>“Where’s your boo?” Rachel asks as she opens a banana and begins taking small bites.</p>
<p>Kurt shrugs. “He said something about needing to check in with a teacher so he’ll probably be here in a few minutes.”</p>
<p>“Well, as long as he isn’t fighting,” Rachel says, somewhat mollified.</p>
<p>“Come on, Rachel, I told you he’s not like that. Batman, remember?” Kurt reminds her.</p>
<p>Before Rachel can respond, a harsh voice intrudes on their conversation.</p>
<p>“Oh darn, you’re back walking amongst the normal people. I guess it was too much to hope that you’d just move into the dumpster where you belong.”</p>
<p>
  <em> Shit! Azimio! </em>
</p>
<p>Kurt takes a deep breath to steady himself. </p>
<p>Trey siddles up beside Azimio and Kurt swallows thickly. His heart pounds in his chest. He looks around desperately for somewhere to retreat, somewhere to hide, somewhere to be safe. But there is nowhere to go in the middle of the cafeteria. His body shrinks in on itself as if that will protect him.</p>
<p>“You know, ‘Zim, if he hasn’t learned his lesson by now, maybe we need to really make it <em> stick </em>,” Trey suggests, waggling an eyebrow on the last word. Kurt has no idea what he is suggesting but feels certain that he won’t like it by the cruel look in Trey’s eyes.</p>
<p>Kurt is too afraid to look up at them, to see what new horror is coming his way. Instead he curls up, his muscles tensing in anticipation of the inevitable.</p>
<p>“— Get the <em> fuck </em> away from them!”</p>
<p>SPLATTER</p>
<p>Kurt looks up to see Blaine standing there, eyes flashing furiously. Kurt feels a sense of instant relief and then confusion as he tries to process what has just happened. Azimio’s mouth is gaping open and he looks from Blaine to the mess of chili on the cafeteria floor. </p>
<p>“What the hell, man? That was my lunch!” Azimio protests loudly.</p>
<p>Slapping someone’s lunch out of their hands, even if they are harassing his boyfriend, doesn’t seem in character for Blaine. Kurt doesn’t understand.</p>
<p>“I’m not an idiot, Azimio, I saw what you were trying to do. You could have seriously <em> burned </em> him.”</p>
<p>Azimio looks around to see several students have begun to stare. His tone becomes defensive. “You trippin’.”</p>
<p>It takes Kurt a minute to put it together. He looks at the chili, brown with indeterminable chunks, steaming on the floor and then looks down at his lap. <em> He was going to pour it on me! </em></p>
<p>“I thought I said to stay the <em> fuck </em> away from my boyfriend,” Blaine says furiously, placing a protective hand on Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt is comforted by his touch but slightly alarmed by the anger in Blaine’s voice.</p>
<p>“Or what?” Azimio sneers.</p>
<p>“Or I’ll break your fucking nose again,” Blaine spits back, his voice deep and angry. </p>
<p>
  <em> What?! </em>
</p>
<p>Azimio looks shaken. “Don’t even think about it, Anderson! I missed two weeks of football thanks to you,” he hisses back furiously. </p>
<p>“Then you probably shouldn’t mess with my boyfriend unless you want a repeat experience,” Blaine counters, his voice deadly calm.</p>
<p>“Did you forget that I have dirt on you, Anderson?”</p>
<p>Blaine scoffs. “You can spread whatever dirt you want, Azimio. Unlike you, I don’t give a shit what anyone here thinks of me.”</p>
<p>“Don’t fuck with me, Anderson!” he sputters back, somewhat nonsensically. Blaine stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, thick eyebrows pressed deep into his brow, hazel eyes narrowed.</p>
<p>Azimio glares furiously at them for a few more seconds before turning on his heel and stalking off in the other direction. Kurt lets out the breath he had been holding and Rachel claps her hands together.</p>
<p>Heart pounding in his chest, Kurt looks up at Blaine gratefully. Blaine looks agitated but he smiles when his eyes meet Kurt’s. “I can’t believe him,” Blaine mutters, beginning to pace. “I can’t believe he would go after you like that, <em> again </em> , I mean <em> fuck </em> what an asshole.”</p>
<p>“You’ve got quite a mouth on you Anderson,” Rachel comments.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I kiss my mom with it and everything,” Blaine retorts, still pacing.</p>
<p>Kurt worries that Rachel will be offended but she just laughs. “You kiss Kurt with it too.”</p>
<p>She turns to Kurt; “Your boyfriend is quite the knight in shining armor. I’m sorry I ever doubted he was Batman.” </p>
<p>Kurt beams. “I know.”</p>
<p>Looking over at Blaine, Kurt sees that his agitation is only increasing. He must still be upset from the confrontation, which Kurt supposes is to be expected. Blaine’s pacing intensifies. </p>
<p>Rachel shoots Kurt a concerned look and then turns to face Blaine. “Thank you, Blaine. You were really brave.” Her voice sounds encouraging, as if she is trying to cheer Blaine up. It’s sweet but it is obvious to Kurt that Blaine is not in the right headspace for conversation.</p>
<p>Rachel rises to her feet and takes a step toward Blaine, reaching out a hand towards him. </p>
<p>
  <em> Not a good time! </em>
</p>
<p>“Rachel, don’t!” Kurt warns her.</p>
<p>“Why? He isn’t going to break <em> my </em> nose, is he?” Her tone is light but Blaine doesn’t seem to register that she is teasing; his eyes flash and he glares at Rachel.</p>
<p>“No! God, why does everyone think I’m like that. I’m not <em> like </em> that. I just need...some fucking space right now, god! Why can’t I just get some space?” Blaine sounds more and more agitated with each word, his pacing intensifying, his voice getting a little too loud by the end.</p>
<p>Rachel steps back, looking horrified, and then drops into her seat.</p>
<p>“Blaine,” Kurt says, a warning in his voice.</p>
<p>Blaine looks from Kurt to Rachel and then back to Kurt. He kicks the ground angrily with the toe of his boot. “Shit!”</p>
<p>Kurt hesitantly reaches for Blaine but his boyfriend takes a step back. “I… I’m sorry, Kurt I just can’t right now. I need… I can’t be here, I need space, it’s too much I...I have to go.”</p>
<p>Kurt nods solemnly. “Yeah, okay.”</p>
<p>Rachel turns to Kurt after Blaine is gone, eyes wide. “What just happened? One minute Blaine was our knight in shining armor and the next I thought he was going to slap me.”</p>
<p>“He…” Kurt rails off, unsure how to explain. “He would never slap you,” he says, because at least he’s pretty sure that’s still true.</p>
<p>“But did he really break Azimio’s nose? I hate to say this but it seems like your boyfriend has a bit of a violent temper.”</p>
<p>Kurt is immediately on the defensive; Rachel just doesn’t understand Blaine the way that he does. He would never hurt someone unless he was protecting someone vulnerable like Sarah or defending himself. </p>
<p>“He’s not <em> violent, </em>he's just… he has a lot to be angry about, okay? And you don’t know the full story! I’m sure Azimio started it anyway.”</p>
<p>Kurt is flustered, trying to explain Blaine’s behavior when he doesn’t know the context of the incident. All he knows is that he trusts Blaine and that he believes that Blaine is not a violent person. With Kurt, Blaine is the most gentle person he’s ever met. </p>
<p>On the other hand, Blaine <em> does </em> seem to have a bit of an issue with his temper and Kurt is feeling like he has unanswered questions.</p>
<p>“Well, regardless, I can’t complain about having him around to end off bullies,” Rachel concedes, offering Kurt a smile. </p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Blaine has mostly calmed down by the time Kurt sees him again in Literature; although, he still dedicates much of the class period to scowling at the back of Azimio’s head. At one point the bully turns around and makes some rude gestures when he notices Blaine but otherwise he leaves them alone.</p>
<p>“I really hate that guy,” Blaine mutters quietly enough that only Kurt can hear him. Kurt nods sympathetically but isn’t sure what else to say.</p>
<p>When the bell rings, Kurt plants himself next to Blaine’s desk. “Want to come over after therapy tonight? I was hoping we could talk about… everything.”</p>
<p>Blaine grimaces. “I think I need to be alone tonight.”</p>
<p>Disappointment settles into the pit of his stomach, followed by worry. “Did I do something wrong?”</p>
<p>Blaine shakes his head vehemently. “No, definitely not. I just...this is one of those times I need to ask for space.”</p>
<p>“So, even if it was just the two of us, that would be too much of a crowd?” Kurt asks, trying but failing to understand what Blaine means.</p>
<p>“I think this time it’s less about the literal space and more about the...emotional space?”</p>
<p>“Why do you need ‘emotional space’?”</p>
<p>“Look, I… I’m getting a lot better at it but I’m still not great at regulating my emotions. When I get upset, really upset, I can sort of lose control. The way that you might be able to keep it together, to calm yourself down, I can’t… it’s just harder for me. It’s just one of those things that is harder for me. Today was a lot and I’m keeping it together right now with a lot of effort but at some point I need to let it out. It’s easier to regulate my emotions when I don’t have to worry about everyone else’s. Besides, the stuff I do to calm down isn’t actually very conducive to having company; I can’t imagine you’d enjoy watching me box or play the piano as loud as I physically can.”</p>
<p>Kurt feels a blush rise to his cheeks. “I dunno; the boxing sounds like it could be kind of hot.”</p>
<p>Blaine cracks a smile and shakes his head in amused disbelief. “I don’t think I could let myself go into full cathartic rage mode if you were watching, which would defeat the purpose. Maybe sometime when I’m doing it just for exercise.”</p>
<p>“So that’s how you deal with anger? Punching stuff?” </p>
<p>Blaine sighs. “It’s how I deal with any strong emotion, sometimes even positive ones. It’s not the punching so much as the physical release from the impact; that’s why playing piano or drums works well too. Do you have anything you do to release stress?”</p>
<p>“I like to bake when I’m stressed or sometimes I reorganize my CDs; right now I have them by date of publication but I’ve been thinking about going back to alphabetical.”</p>
<p>Blaine’s eyes grow wide.</p>
<p>“What? I <em> told </em> you I was neurotic. It’s not my fault if you didn’t take me seriously.”</p>
<p>It’s nice to see Blaine laughing again. Kurt holds precious the knowledge that even when he is upset, Kurt can still make Blaine laugh.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Blaine seems noticeably calmer the next day. Lighter. Happier. </p>
<p>He wraps his arms around Kurt when he finds him before school and pulls him into a tight embrace. Blaine presses kisses along Kurt’s jawline and whispers, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Kurt feels warm and safe in Blaine’s arms and incredibly cared for. “I told you I would give you space when you needed it. What are you apologizing for?”</p>
<p>Blaine pulls back just far enough to gaze into Kurt’s eyes. “I know we have to talk and I’m sure you would have rather done that yesterday.”</p>
<p>Kurt cocks his head to the side and then reaches out to touch Blaine’s cheek. “For you, I can be patient.”</p>
<p>Blaine pulls Kurt back to his chest, burying his face in the crook of Kurt’s neck, and whispers, “Thank you.”</p>
<p>Over Blaine’s shoulder he spots Rachel, looking at them with wide eyes. She grins at Kurt and gives him a thumbs up before slinking off in the other direction, clearly deciding they need the alone time.</p>
<p>Blaine checks his watch. “We have some time. Do you want to talk now?”</p>
<p>Kurt leads him to the empty choir room and they sit down next to one another on the risers.</p>
<p>“So, you really broke Azimio’s nose?” Kurt finally asks.</p>
<p>Blaine ducks his head in embarrassment.</p>
<p>“I— look I’m not proud of my behavior in the past, Kurt.”</p>
<p>“You think I would judge you?” Kurt is offended that Blaine thinks so little of him.</p>
<p>“Have you forgotten how much you already have? Wasn’t I just ‘bad boy Anderson’ to you at first?”</p>
<p>“Blaine,” he says softly. “That was before… before I really got to know you. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions but… things are different now. I promise.” </p>
<p>But Blaine is shaking his head ‘no.’ “You can’t promise that nothing you find out about me will ever change how you feel about me. So just...don’t.”</p>
<p>That stops Kurt flat. <em> Who hurt you? </em> He wonders. Blaine looks so sad that Kurt wants to say whatever he can to reassure him but he resists the urge to whisper thoughtless promises into Blaine’s ear. He stares at the flecked linoleum tiles in thoughtful silence, contemplating exactly what it is that he <em> can </em> promise Blaine right now. Something true. </p>
<p>He looks up and catches Blaine’s eye, wanting him to see that Kurt’s means what he says. He takes his hand and Blaine’s fingers immediately interlace with his. It gives him strength. Blaine always gives him strength.</p>
<p>“Okay,” he says just above a whisper. “You’re probably right; I can’t promise that. But what I <em> can </em> promise, Blaine, is that I will try to understand, that I will try to see you for who you are now and who you could become in the future rather than who you may have been in the past.”</p>
<p>Blaine’s eyes sparkle and Kurt wonders if it is just the lighting or if Blaine has tears in his eyes. </p>
<p>“That, I will gladly accept.”</p>
<p>“I’m listening,” Kurt prompts.</p>
<p>“I told you that Azimio used to take my stuff but I guess I never really explained why he stopped. Things kind of came to a head when he stole my laptop in Freshman year. He was going to throw it in the dumpster and I was so worried it would break. My parents had to argue with the school district to even get them to buy that for me and I was terrified they wouldn’t get me another one if he destroyed it. It’s the only way I can be a successful student. I’m… I shouldn’t have punched him but I was so panicked, Kurt. After that, I guess he decided to move on to just throwing me into the dumpster instead of my stuff.”</p>
<p>“Blaine, I...I understand. I can’t believe he would try to break your computer; it’s just so heartless. Like he found your biggest vulnerability and stuck a knife in it. Why do people suck so much?”</p>
<p>“See, I knew you would come around to my way of thinking! I told you people are awful.”</p>
<p>“Sure, <em> some </em> people are, but it will take more than that to puncture my optimism.”</p>
<p>“You’ll just have to be optimistic enough for the both of us.”</p>
<p>“Sounds like a plan.”</p>
<p>Kurt leans forward and presses a tender kiss onto Blaine’s lips, stroking the soft skin of his cheek. The kiss is brief and ends with their foreheads pressed together, breathing one another in.</p>
<p>“So you said a lot of stuff yesterday about emotional regulation but I didn’t totally understand all of it. That is— I mean I understand what you said about needing to blow off steam and calm down but yesterday you were very...it just seems like you…” Kurt trails off as he searches for the right words to express himself. He doesn’t know how to ask this without risking Blaine’s feelings.</p>
<p>Blaine gives him a wry smile and finishes his thought. “...get really angry sometimes?”</p>
<p>Kurt bites his lip and nods, hoping that he hasn’t offended Blaine too much.</p>
<p>Blaine gives him a knowing nod. He doesn’t look offended, he looks… resigned.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I get mad sometimes. When I was talking about being a troublemaker when I was younger and being sent to the principal’s office, that’s what I was talking about. I would have these… outbursts where I would just sort of lose all control. I don’t really know if it’s because my brain is wired differently—what with having a learning disability and all—or if it’s because I had so many shitty years at school before I was diagnosed...maybe it’s a combination of both...but regardless it’s just another shitty thing about being me...and for you, about being <em> with </em> me. Honestly, Kurt, you could do so much better.”</p>
<p>Kurt felt a bubble of panic in his gut. “Woah, woah, hey, Blaine look at me.” He reached out to touch Blaine’s cheek and found it damp. Something twisted painfully in his chest. “I don’t want anyone else. I just… I just want you, okay. To me… to me you are perfect.”</p>
<p>Blaine let out a nervous laugh and shook his head in disbelief. “I love you.”</p>
<p>Kurt’s eyes grew wide and then so did Blaine’s, as if he had just realized what he had said. Perhaps he had. It had come out so naturally, as if he had said it a million times.</p>
<p>Blaine ducked his head. “Wow, that is not how I was planning to tell you.”</p>
<p>“You had a plan?” Kurt asked, a huge grin forming on his face.</p>
<p>“The beginnings of one. I had a plan to <em> have </em>a plan, you know. But...that doesn’t make it any less true. I do love you, Kurt. That’s why I got so angry today. Seeing Azimio trying to hurt someone that I love, I just… I couldn’t stand the thought of it. You are too precious; it simply isn’t allowed.</p>
<p>Kurt’s breath hitched and he gaped at Blaine, overwhelmed by what he had said, that Blaine really cared that strongly about him. He really was that special. At least to Blaine. And that was all that mattered.</p>
<p>Heart thundering in his chest, Kurt mustered the courage to say the words that had been floating as a question in his mind for some time now. “I...I love you too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong>Thank you to my beta readers <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> who are both very *special*</strong> </p>
<p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p>
<p>If you haven't already, why not check out the spooky round robin Halloween story I wrote with a group of fic writing pals? <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27290644/chapters/66677725">A Night at the Ryerson House</a></p>
<p>
  <strong>Coming Up Next: Blaine's POV</strong>
</p>
<p>Finally, there is a small but nonzero chance that I will not update next weekend. As you might be aware, the US is having a very significant election in a few days and if things don't go the way I'm hoping, I predict being in no mood to write. But I will try my best! I do have Chapter 14 close to completed but...you never know.</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <span class="u">Various &amp; Sundry</span>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <em>For these notes I'm going to pull heavily from an <a href="https://ldaamerica.org/info/what-you-should-know-about-related-disorders-of-learning-disability/">article</a> published on the Learning Disabilities Association of America website in 2013. Text in block quotes comes directly from that article.</em>
</p>
<p><b>What is emotional regulation?</b><br/>If you're not familiar with the term, "emotional regulation" or "self-regulation" means the ability to exert control over emotions to make them more manageable. Little babies have almost zero ability to do this, which is why they need parents to constantly soothe them. As we grow, we develop these skills and become more and more able to do this for ourselves without needing help; we learn to self-soothe. Like most aspects of the human experience, emotional regulation exists along a spectrum. None of us have perfect self-regulation skills but we have enough to at least get by.</p>
<p>
  <b>Understanding Comorbidity: Why does Blaine have all these other problems besides just dyslexia? </b>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>There is a continuum of neurologically based disorders that are frequently found together. The basic concept is that if something impacts on the developing brain, resulting in an area or system being “wired differently,” it is possible that other areas might be involved as well. These related disorders are referred to as “comorbid conditions.” </p>
</blockquote>About 50% of individuals with a learning disability also have one or more related disorders. <p>In the case of learning disabilities, related disorders include: language disorder (hey, that’s where I come in!!), sensory integration disorder/motor coordination disorder, ADHD, challengings with executive functioning, specific difficulties regulating emotions (i.e. anxiety, depression, anger-control problems, OCD), Tic disorders, and maybe bipolar disorder. (LDA)</p>
<p>When I talk about the kids I work with being “complex,” this is what I’m talking about. Not only do 100% of the kids I work with who have learning disabilities also have a language disorder (because, hello, I’m a speech therapist) but I would say they have 2-3 other related disorders from that list as well. Many have additional challenges beyond that list. I have a *lot* of experience working with teenagers with challenges regulating their emotions, which is how I got inspired to write this story and to write it in this particular way. I always wondered what a “badboy” story would look like if the character in question had diagnosable anger control issues.</p>
<p>
  <b>LD and difficulties with emotional regulation: a case of the chicken or the egg</b>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><br/>It is not uncommon for adults or children with LD to struggle with anxiety, depression, and/or with anger control as a result of the frustrations and failures experienced. These emotional problems usually start at a certain time and relate to specific circumstances/stresses and are thought of as secondary emotional problems.</p>
  <p>But, for 50 percent or more of individuals with LD, the problems with regulating their emotions are not related to a situation, they are neurologically-based. These problems have a chronic history, often beginning in early childhood, and are pervasive, occurring at home, in school, with friends, and during any month. Often, there is a family history of similar problems.</p>
</blockquote>You can draw a straight line from that section of the article and the following part of Chapter 13: "I don’t really know if it’s because my brain is wired differently—what with having a learning disability and all—or if it’s because I had so many shitty years at school before I was diagnosed...maybe it’s a combination of both...but regardless it’s just another shitty thing about being me"
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. A Day in the Life of Blaine Anderson (Part 1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WOOHOO!!!!!!!!! Sorry this is up kind of late in the day but I WAS CELEBRATING!!!! *lets out enormous sigh of relief*</p><p>Strap in for a two-parter that is going to be high in both angst and fluff.</p><p>By the way: I added a long author's note explaining more about some aspects of Blaine's disability to the previous chapter. If you read it in the first day or so, you may have missed it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Blaine is not having a good day. He stayed up late finishing schoolwork and consequently overslept. He always feels frazzled when he’s running late and his already difficult to control emotions are that much more out of control without sufficient sleep.</p><p>He wriggles into one of his looser pairs of black jeans and grabs the first clean shirt he can find. He digs through his dresser drawer until he unearths his favorite sweatshirt for days like this. The material is extra thick and it is a little big for him, but in just the right way.</p><p>He likes the way that he can pull his hands up into the sleeves. He is comforted by the weight of the hood on his head and he appreciates the way it blocks out his peripheral vision, helping him forget he’s surrounded by people. It feels like cozy armor. It feels safe.</p><p>He unplugs his laptop, which he dutifully charges every night, and slips it into his backpack. </p><p>His mother looks both relieved and annoyed to see him appear downstairs. </p><p>“Blaine,” she scolds with a heavy sigh. They have had this conversation more times than either of them can count.</p><p>“I know, I know! I just… I really had to finish this essay and it took longer than I thought. You don’t want me to get a bad grade, do you?”</p><p>She gives him a sharp look and for a second he thinks she will call him out on the guilt trip. Instead, she hands him a granola bar and a banana and just says, “No.”</p><p>Blaine accepts his breakfast-to-go and follows her to the car.</p><p>While Blaine inhales the banana, his mom runs through the schedule for the day. </p><p>“Have you heard back from the College Board?”</p><p>“No, Mom.”</p><p>“Okay, well just tell me when you do because it’s very important—“</p><p>“I <em> know </em>! You don’t have to keep reminding me every day. I’m not going to forget.”</p><p>“Well I just wanted to remind you because sometimes you can be forgetful, sweetheart, you know I don’t want to hurt your feelings but remember what happened with the field trip form?”</p><p>He bites back the angry retort he feels boiling up inside of him. <em> Jesus fucking christ are you ever going to let that go? </em></p><p>Blaine crosses his arms over his chest and pulls his hood a little further over his face. His hands find the strings of his hoodie and he pulls on them. </p><p>His mom is never going to let him forget the time he wasn’t allowed to go on the school field trip because he forgot to turn in the form. He knows that organization isn’t exactly his strong suit but he wishes that she would give him just a little bit more credit. That was in <em> seventh </em> grade for crying out loud; he has grown a lot since then.</p><p>“Blaine!” his mother’s voice interrupts his thoughts and for a moment he can’t figure out why her tone is so scolding. Then he realizes one of the sweatshirt strings is in his mouth and he quickly pulls it out, embarrassed. It’s something he doesn’t do much anymore but it still happens every once and a while when he’s agitated. Biting down on the string helps him keep the wrong words from spilling out. </p><p>“Sorry,” he mutters under his breath. </p><p>
  <em> I would have noticed myself. If you had given me a minute. </em>
</p><p>The car slows to a stop in front of McKinley and Blaine hops out and walks briskly to school. <em> Don’t be late; don’t be late. </em></p><p>The tardy bell rings just as he steps over the threshold.</p><p>
  <em> Fuck. </em>
</p><p>—</p><p>He has math first and Mr. Reynolds shakes his head disapprovingly as Blaine walks in late. Mr. Reynolds makes eye contact with him as he marks the tardy, as if he wants to be sure that Blaine knows he is recording it.</p><p>
  <em> Yes, I’m late. I fucking know. Jesus. </em>
</p><p>Blaine wishes he got along a little better with Mr. Reynolds. In theory, this should be one of his best classes. He is by no means talented at math, but thankfully his learning disability only affects reading and writing, so he usually does fine in math. Usually. </p><p>He’s good at numbers and equations. They make sense to him. He often wishes that words weren’t allowed in math. Yet, somehow, they always manage to invade.</p><p>Word problems are his enemy. “Explain your work” is his nemesis. </p><p>And of course <em> no one </em> types in math. You would have to be completely nuts to turn in typed homework in math. You would look like a lunatic. So he tried. He really did.</p><p>He bought a spiral notebook with graph paper just like he was told to and he dutifully wrote out the equations and took his notes. He did okay at first. He copied the sample problems well enough. </p><p>But then the word problems came and he couldn’t keep up. Mr. Reynolds would move to the next slide when Blaine was only halfway through copying the notes. He tried using abbreviations which helped a little. He tried filling in what was missing during lunch from what he could remember but it was useless.</p><p>He thinks back to the frustration that led him to throw his notebook against the library wall and then later into the school dumpster. He still remembers the shocked look on Kurt’s face and the way he had laughed when Blaine declared the notebook was where it belonged.</p><p>God he loves Kurt’s laugh. It takes over his whole body and his face glows from the joy of it. He will never get enough of making Kurt laugh. He doesn't ever want to stop hearing it.</p><p>He had finally given in and asked Ms. Pillsbury to do something. Now he gets a copy of the notes emailed to him the night before class. He pulls out his printed copy of the notes to follow along with at his desk. Sitting in the back of the class has a lot of benefits but one is that very few students notice that he has completed notes in front of him. </p><p>Blaine is fidgety and his knee bounces up and down until the girl sitting in front of him turns around and gives him a death glare. <em> Shit, was I shaking her desk? </em> He stops the bouncing and this time stretches his legs out into the aisle. He pulls on the strings of his sweatshirt. He rolls the fabric of his belt loop between his fingers. </p><p>Blaine spent most of his childhood being told to “sit still.” Teachers always thought he wasn’t listening when he was moving. But it was the opposite. Moving helps him focus. He is never more distracted than when he is sitting still. In high school people mostly leave him alone as long as he doesn't bother anyone else. And he has found less obtrusive ways to fidget over the years. His mom complains when she pulls rubber bands out of the dryer but it is the best he can do.</p><p>The bell rings and Blaine lets out a sigh of relief at the chance to really move around for a minute before being confined to his desk again. He pulls his hood up over his head, enjoying the snug way that it cradles his skull. He can pretend he is not surrounded by people in the hallway just a little bit easier. </p><p>
  <em> Kurt! </em>
</p><p>Like a beacon in the darkness, he spots his boyfriend in the hallway. Blaine feels the relief and joy at seeing him sink into his body. The worst part about being late was missing the opportunity to see Kurt before school.</p><p>Kurt spots him a moment later and Blaine’s heart skips a beat at the way Kurt’s smile lights up the whole hallway. For him. </p><p>“Blaine!” he calls out, waving as if Blaine hasn’t already locked onto him like a missile changing course and rushing over to him.</p><p>“Hey,” Blaine says softly when Kurt is in front of him. </p><p>“You doing okay?” Kurt asks.</p><p>
  <em> How does he always know? </em>
</p><p>“Better now that you’re here,” he flirts. </p><p>“I missed you this morning,” Kurt confesses.</p><p>“Not as much as I missed you.”</p><p>Kurt is looking into his eyes and Blaine is swooning. He desperately wants to kiss the pink, plump lips in front of him but he knows he has to wait until later. He settles for a hug. Kurt is warm and safe and tight around him; he protects Blaine even better than the hoodie. Better than anything.</p><p>“Maybe we can meet up tonight?” Kurt asks, a smile tugging at his lips.</p><p>“Let me check my schedule and see how much homework I have? I would love that I just…” <em> find it hard to think straight around you sometimes </em>“…need to see if I can.”</p><p>“Sure,” Kurt says breezily. “Well, I guess we had better get to class. See you in Lit, Blaine.”</p><p>Blaine nods and gives Kurt’s hand a squeeze before they part.</p><p>Blaine tries to carry with him the sunshine Kurt had briefly breathed into him but he finds that it has seeped out of his body by the time his history class starts. It really is a bad day when seeing Kurt isn’t even enough to turn his mood around.</p><p>—</p><p>In the hopes of making time to spend the evening with Kurt, Blaine opts to spend lunch in the resource room. Ms. Pillsbury is running Lunch Bunch today, so he won’t be able to ask her for help, but at least it is a quiet place to work where he doesn’t feel awkward about using his assistive technology. He pulls up the <em> Bookshare </em>app on his phone so he can listen to the novel he is reading for English Literature while he quickly eats his lunch. </p><p>He gets so caught up in the story that he listens longer than he meant to, enjoying the twists and turns. It is only when he hears the narrator announce the next chapter that he realizes he should stop and switch over to summarizing the chapter from his history textbook. Mr. Hernandez had given the assignment just this morning but if Blaine can just stay focused, he thinks he might be able to get most if not all of it finished before the bell rings. With his history work out of the way, that would just leave math and possibly some literature work to complete after school. </p><p>He checks things off in his planner and then sets up his laptop with his digital copy of the textbook open next to a blank word document. It takes a moment of fiddling before he has the two screens set up the way he wants them. Then he opens up <em> Co:Writer </em> and turns on Word Prediction. He has already read the chapter once, so he jumps to the parts he highlighted to guide his summary. </p><p>He thinks of how to rephrase what he has read into his own words—Mr. Hernandez is especially strict about plagiarism and insists that everything be paraphrased.</p><p><em> The Founding Fathers dreamed…no, imagined? Yeah, imagined works. </em> He begins to type. <em> “The fown” </em> he stops and surveys the list of suggestions from <em> Co:Writer </em> . <em> “1. foundation, 2. fountain, 3. found, 4. fown, 5. phone.” </em> As he highlights each word with his mouse, the computer reads it aloud to him. Blaine listens to each choice on his headphones and sighs, because of course none of them are correct. But, he realizes that “foundation” has the right beginning so he can use that as a starting point. He hits the number ‘2’ on his keyboard to replace “fown” with “foundation” and then erases the ending and changes it to “founding.” <em> Now we’re getting somewhere! </em> </p><p>The software finally starts to be useful and suggests “father” as the next word. Blaine has to remember to add an “s” to make it plural, since for some reason <em> Co:Writer </em> hasn’t figured that part out. All he has to type is “im” before “imagined” pops up and now he’s rolling. He always forgets how much better the software works once it has a bit more context to work with. It’s always a little slower and less perfect than he wishes it was, but leaps and bounds better than trying to type unassisted. With his spelling? Forget about it.</p><p>Blaine is so focused on his summary that the sound of the bell ringing startles him; he nearly jumps out of his seat. Blaine carefully saves his work and then packs everything up into his backpack. He nearly finished the summary, so he is pleased with his progress.</p><p>“Oh, Blaine? Can you come here for a second?” Ms. Pillsbury beckons him over to her desk.</p><p>“Uh-huh.” </p><p>He leans against the wall by her desk and waits.</p><p>“Your letter came this morning. I didn’t want to interrupt you while you were working so hard but you should pick it up now before you leave.”</p><p>She hands him an envelope.</p><p>Blaine opens it and pulls out the letter, printed on official College Board letterhead.</p><p>
  <em> “Dear Mr. Anderson, </em>
</p><p><em> We are writing to inform you that your request for accommodations on the PSAT examination has been denied. We have reviewed your…” </em> </p><p>The letter falls to the floor.</p><p>“Blaine?” Ms. Pillsbury sounds concerned.</p><p>“I was… how can they <em> deny </em> me accommodations? We filled out the paperwork. I have an IEP! We sent them a copy of the neuropsych! How did this happen?”</p><p>It isn’t until he hears Ms. Pillsbury’s soft voice that he realizes how loud his voice has gotten. He blushes, embarrassed for practically shouting at his teacher. He collapses into the chair next to her desk.</p><p>“May I see the letter?” she asks calmly.</p><p>Blaine picks the offending piece of paper off of the floor and hands it to her.</p><p>“This is bullshit,” he mutters.</p><p>“Blaine, language,” she scolds him gently.</p><p>
  <em> Well, it is! </em>
</p><p>“Sorry, Ms. P.”</p><p>“I understand that you’re frustrated but I know you have other ways to express yourself.”</p><p>RING</p><p>“Oh dear, that was the tardy bell, wasn’t it. Let me write you a late pass so you can get to class. I’m going to hold onto this and see why they denied your request.”</p><p>
  <em> Denied your request. Denied your request. Denied. Denied. </em>
</p><p>Ms. Pillsbury’s words echo in his head but he nods and tries his best to pull himself together. He takes a few deep breaths like his social worker taught him and then tightens the straps on his backpack. </p><p>
  <em> Stay calm, Blaine. Denied. Stay calm. Ms. Pillsbury is going to fix it. Denied. Maybe it was a mistake? Denied. Nothing to be fixed because your request was denied. No accommodations on the PSAT means no accommodations on the SAT which means bad scores which means no college, no good job, no good life. Denied. </em>
</p><p>At least the hallway is empty. He is certain he could not handle a crowd bumping into him right now. He hasn’t felt this close to losing it in quite a while. </p><p>He makes it to biology and collapses into his chair in the back row. By some miracle, Ms. Dhar has decided to show them a nature documentary today so he is able to just sit quietly for forty minutes.</p><p>He’s a little more regulated by the time the bell rings but worry flares up in his gut when he starts walking to English Literature. It is his most demanding class of the day by far and as much as he wants to see Kurt, part of him is dreading Kurt’s reaction to his current mood. </p><p>
  <em> Just skip it. </em>
</p><p>He steels himself.</p><p>
  <em> No. </em>
</p><p>He knows that he is better than that. He hasn't cut class since sixth grade. He walks into class with his head down, delaying the inevitable. He doesn't want to watch Kurt’s face fall, watch the smile turn into a worried frown. He doesn’t want it to be his fault that Kurt is anything less than completely happy.</p><p>But, of course, he has done plenty to bring unhappiness to Kurt. He is still kicking himself about the incident with Kurt’s music binder and the confrontations in the cafeteria. They never would have happened if Kurt wasn’t with Blaine. Azimio went after Kurt to punish Blaine and the guilt is like acid, eating away at his insides. </p><p>
  <em> Maybe if I were stronger I would just let him go. </em>
</p><p>The thought is too painful to persist. He could never let go of Kurt. As long as Kurt wants him around, Blaine is going to be there. Kurt is the light in the dark and Blaine is but an enraptured moth, incapable of being anywhere but in his orbit. </p><p>Blaine flops into his seat.</p><p>“Hey, sweetness.”</p><p>The name wraps around his heart. It gives him the strength to finally meet Kurt’s eyes. They sparkle like the ocean under the noontime sun.</p><p>Blaine is sure that his distress is evident on his face but Kurt just keeps smiling at him. There is no fall, no disappointment. Just sweetness.</p><p>“How was lunch?” Kurt asks.</p><p>“I got some work done. But also… I got some bad news so things have been a little rough.”</p><p>
  <em> A little rough? Way to undersell it, Blaine. Try completely awful. </em>
</p><p>“Yeah, I can tell,” he says sympathetically. “Is there anything I can do?”</p><p>“N-no, I… class is about to start anyways so… maybe we can talk later or something.”</p><p>“Of course. You know I’m here for you.”</p><p>A wave of calm washes over him. <em> You are, aren’t you? </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong>Thank you to my beta readers <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> </strong> </p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p><strong>Coming Up Next: A day in the life of Blaine Anderson continues.</strong><br/><strong>Math?</strong><br/>If you were curious why I brought up math, it is because there is also something called dyscalculia. Dyslexia is to reading as dyscalculia is to math. The third type is dysgraphia, which has to do with writing. These days we (at least in the states) tend to use the terminology "specific learning disability in reading, writing, and/or math."</p><p><strong>Co:Writer</strong><br/>This is a great piece of software for anyone with dyslexia. It has a lot of features but the on I highlighted in the chapter is "word prediction," which you likely haven't heard of. As you write, it provides suggestions of what it thinks you are trying to spell. For more information, check out: https://cowriter.com/<br/>If you want to know what it looked like when Blaine was writing, I actually pulled up the software and put in what Blaine was typing to see what it would suggest so here is a screenshot:<br/><em></em><br/><span><br/><br/></span><br/></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. A Day in the Life of Blaine Anderson (Part 2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Part 2 of Blaine's POV. Get ready for even more angst and also some serious fluff. </p>
<p>Take it from my beta who had this to say about the chapter: "Well I just brushed my teeth but ofc this was so sweet I’m going to have to give them another brush or else I’ll get cavities"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Listen up, class!” Ms. Owens calls out to get their attention. Kurt gives him a final, fond look before turning to face the front.</p>
<p><em> Where did I ever find someone as great as you? </em> Blaine chuckles to himself as he thinks about the answer to that question. <em> One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. </em></p>
<p>Ms. Owens continues. “Please take out a sheet of paper and a pencil. Put everything else away.”</p>
<p>Blaine raises his hand.</p>
<p>“Yes, Blaine?”</p>
<p>“May I approach the bench?” He doesn’t want to ask in front of the entire class. She waves him up.</p>
<p>“Um, Ms. Owens, can I use my laptop for this?”</p>
<p>She sighs. “It’s meant to be a test, Blaine. How can I see what you know when you could be looking up the answers.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t do that,” he says defensively. </p>
<p>“That’s what they all say.”</p>
<p>“I mean, I usually take tests in the resource room anyways. Ms. Pillsbury might be able to supervise me but she usually prefers having some notice; she might be working with other students so you would have to call and check.”</p>
<p>“This really seems like more trouble than it is worth for a ten minute pop quiz. This is holding up the class. Can’t you just sit down and take the test like everyone else?”</p>
<p>
  <em> Denied. </em>
</p>
<p>He feels the fragile control he has over his emotions beginning to crack. </p>
<p>“You’re supposed to follow my IEP,” he insists.</p>
<p>“Well, you are supposed to be able to keep up with my class.”</p>
<p>“I <em> am </em> keeping up!” he says, voice starting to get louder as his frustration raises.</p>
<p>“Do <em> not </em> take that tone with me, young man!”</p>
<p>
  <em> What tone? Am I talking too loud again? Shit! </em>
</p>
<p>“Can you please just call Ms. Pillsbury to see if she’s available? It’ll just take a second,” he pleads.</p>
<p>“Blaine,” she sighs. “Just get out of my hair and take your seat.”</p>
<p>
  <em> Calm, stay calm. Just need to stay calm. Keep it together. Not keeping it together. Need space, too many people, too hot.  </em>
</p>
<p>Fingernails bite into his palms. He makes a low growl through gritted teeth.</p>
<p>
  <em> I can’t do this. </em>
</p>
<p>“I need a break.”</p>
<p>“Yeah me too,” she retorts. “What part of ‘get out of my hair’ do you not understand?”</p>
<p>“No, I need a break,” he tries again.</p>
<p>“Sit. Down.”</p>
<p>“I need a break.” Blaine turns on his heels and heads for the door, determined to get out of the room before he makes any more of a scene. <em> Just keep it together a little longer. Almost there. </em></p>
<p>"Take one more step towards that door and you’ve got detention.”</p>
<p>
  <em> Fuck you! Fuck you you fucking asshole you can’t do that to me I hate you I hate this place AHHHH. </em>
</p>
<p>“Just let me take a fucking break!” he yells.</p>
<p>“Principal’s office. Right now.”</p>
<p>“Fine!” he says flippantly, too angry to care. At least in the principal’s office he can get away from this.</p>
<p>It isn’t until he’s halfway to the front office that Blaine realizes he never saw Kurt’s face. So much for not disappointing Kurt.</p>
<p>He collapses bitterly into the chair outside the principal’s office, waiting until he is called in. His head drops into his hands, not to cry but just to give his eyes a break. He breathes deeply, his breaths raggedy at first but as the minutes pass they begin to even out.</p>
<p>“Blaine?” a soft voice asks. It isn’t the principal but rather the school social worker, Ms. Sal.</p>
<p>He picks his head up.</p>
<p>“Principal Figgins thought it best that I join this meeting.”</p>
<p>Blaine nods. He hasn’t been in trouble like this since he kicked Trey in the balls but Ms. Sal was there for that too, so it makes sense. He feels relieved that finally someone he trusts is here. </p>
<p>She escorts him into the office and takes the seat next to him. Principal Figgins gives him a tired, wary look and then gestures to Ms. Sal to lead the conversation.</p>
<p>“So what happened?” she asks.</p>
<p>“I yelled at my teacher,” he says bitterly, already starting to feel the inevitable wave of remorse and shame.</p>
<p>“Can you tell us why you yelled at Ms. Owens?”</p>
<p>Blaine takes a deep breath, wanting to explain himself as well as possible. “She wasn’t following my accommodations.”</p>
<p>Ms. Sal has a puzzled expression on her face.</p>
<p>“Which ones?”</p>
<p>“Letting me type, letting me take tests in the resource room, letting me have a break if I get dysregulated.”</p>
<p>“You needed a break?” Ms. Sal asks, her surprise growing.</p>
<p>“I know, I know! I never use that one but I just… I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t get out of there. I was trying to avoid… I was trying to avoid exactly what happened.” It is hard to keep the frustration out of his voice. “I asked for the laptop and she said ‘no.’ I tried to explain and she told me to just go take the test. She wouldn’t let me take a break and it was only then when I blew up. I was already upset before I even got to class and I feel like I did everything right, I used all of my strategies, I tried to advocate for myself, but <em> she </em> didn’t follow my IEP so now <em> I </em> am in trouble. How is that fair?”</p>
<p>To his utter humiliation, tears sting at his eyes. <em> Great, just great. </em> </p>
<p>“I hear you, Blaine,” Ms. Sal says soothingly. “It sounds like maybe there was some kind of miscommunication with the teacher but I can understand how frustrating that would be for you. Can I ask why you were upset?”</p>
<p>“I, uh, my… the College Board didn’t approve my request for accommodations on the PSAT.”</p>
<p>“Blaine, you know we can appeal the decision, right?”</p>
<p>“I…we can?”</p>
<p>“Yes. I’m sure Ms. Pillsbury would be happy to help you with that.”</p>
<p>“I…oh. I guess, I mean she did ask to see the letter but I didn’t think…I was just so <em> upset </em>. Wow, I’m an idiot.”</p>
<p>“You know that isn’t true, Blaine. Now, I think Principal Figgins and I need to find out Ms. Owens’ side of the story before we make a final decision. Are you comfortable deferring any consequences until tomorrow? Under the circumstances, I don’t think Blaine should be punished.”</p>
<p>“Really?” he asks hopefully.</p>
<p>Principal Figgins frowns slightly but nods his head. “I am writing up the incident but that will be all for now.”</p>
<p>Blaine feels a flood of relief. Suddenly, he is exhausted.</p>
<p>“Th-thank you, sir.”</p>
<p>“Back to class now, Mr. Anderson, all right?”</p>
<p>The bell has already rung for the end of English class, so Blaine heads to gym.  </p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Blaine somehow makes it through the rest of his day, fighting off exhaustion. Doing reading therapy is going to be excruciating today; all he wants to do is go straight home and take a nap.</p>
<p>Keeping his head down, he makes it through the hallway to his locker. A familiar pair of boots appear in his eyeline. <em> Kurt! </em> Blaine is torn between desperately seeking the comfort he knows can be derived from the simplest touch from this boy and fearing Kurt’s reaction to his meltdown earlier. He can’t bear to see disappointment in his eyes. <em> Please don’t be mad. Please still love me. </em></p>
<p>“Sweetheart?” Kurt asks gently, and again the pet name goes straight to his heart. “Can I...I really want to give you a hug right now,” his words come out in a rush.</p>
<p>“Please,” he whimpers.</p>
<p>And then everything is okay because Kurt is there and Blaine can bury his face in the soft fabric of Kurt’s scarf and be wrapped up tight in his strong arms that make Blaine feel safer than anything.</p>
<p>“Oh, honey,” Kurt whispers, his voice breaking with emotion. “I was so worried about you.” His delicate fingers creep into the hair at the base of Blaine’s neck and rub soothing patterns into his skin. “Are you okay? What happened? What can I do?”</p>
<p>A silent sob of relief wracks his body. Kurt must have felt it because he tightens his hold on Blaine and gently pets his hair.</p>
<p>“Get a room!” </p>
<p>Blaine’s head whips up to see the jeering faces of Trey and Azimio. Eyes red from crying, he hasn’t felt this vulnerable in years and now his worst enemies have shown up. He has no clever comebacks today. He is spent and there is nothing left. But he tries to rally, to pull himself together, to be strong for Kurt.</p>
<p>And then… Kurt steps forward, putting himself directly between Blaine at the bullies. </p>
<p>He stands strong, with his feet planted firmly on the ground, hands at his hips. When he speaks, his voice is lower than usual and he sounds furious.</p>
<p>“Uh uh, not today, Satan. Get the <em> hell </em> out of here or I will fucking destroy you, do you hear me?”</p>
<p>Perhaps it is the shock of hearing Kurt stand up for himself or perhaps it is the fierceness of his words but whatever the reason, it works. They stand there, blinking wordlessly at Kurt for a few moments before Trey just shakes his head and gestures for Azimio to follow him.</p>
<p>Blaine stares at Kurt wide wide eyes. Kurt spins around to face him and he is positively glowing. “Did you see that? Oh my god, did you see me? I...I made them go away Blaine! I did that!” He claps his hands together a few times gleefully.</p>
<p>Blaine reaches across the distance and clasps his hands over Kurt’s.</p>
<p>“My hero,” he declares. “Kurt that was amazing! I am <em> so </em> proud of you!”</p>
<p>“I...I think I get it now. What you said last week, about wanting to protect the people that you love. I...I couldn’t do it for me but I just knew I needed to get them away from you and so I just...I just did it! I did it Blaine!” Kurt is babbling, giddy with the taste of success. It is completely precious and further evidence that Kurt is truly a force of nature, lighting up his life, no matter how dark things get.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Fingers sort through his curls, separating each strand and sometimes pressing into his scalp; the feeling is intoxicatingly relaxing.</p>
<p>Blaine feels his body go loose and melt into the duvet as Kurt gently runs his fingers through his hair and hums quietly. He could easily fall asleep like this.</p>
<p>He tilts his head back so he can look up at Kurt’s face. His boyfriend looks content and his eyes twinkle when they connect with Blaine’s.</p>
<p>“Thank you, you have no idea how amazing that feels.”</p>
<p>“You’re very welcome. It’s something my mom used to do when I had a bad day and it always made me feel better.”</p>
<p>Blaine’s heart constricts. He reaches until his hand finds one of Kurt’s and interlaces their fingers, giving him a comforting squeeze. Kurt doesn’t talk about his mother very often but Blaine knows he misses her every day. </p>
<p>“Smart lady,” Blaine comments.</p>
<p>He lets Kurt’s free hand continue to work through his curls as he keeps his grasp on the other. His thumb finds the palm of Kurt’s hand and he rubs circles into it. Kurt lets out a satisfied sigh.</p>
<p>“It’s nice to be able to do something to help. It was hard to see you so upset earlier and not be able to do anything. Should I have said something? I couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t have just made it worse.”</p>
<p>Blaine contemplates his response and then shrugs. “No, there probably wasn’t anything you could have said. But, thanks, honey. It’s nice to know that you want to help.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure? You aren’t just telling me that so I don’t feel like a complete coward yet again?”</p>
<p>Blaine sits up and turns around the face Kurt. “Are you kidding? First of all, weren’t you the one who was just telling me you want a boyfriend rather than a bodyguard?” Kurt ducks his head and laughs, nodding in agreement. Blaine continues, “Second of all, I think we can retire the idea that you are a coward once and for all after you stood up to Azimio and Trey like that.” He clutches his hand to his chest for dramatic effect. “My hero!”</p>
<p>Kurt rapidly turns a deep shade of red. “I…thank you.”</p>
<p>Blaine reaches across the space between them and lifts Kurt’s chin so that their eyes meet. “I love you,” he whispers, infusing the words with all the emotion balled up in his chest for this boy.</p>
<p>Kurt’s breath hitches and he launches himself at Blaine, knocking him onto his back. “I love you too! I’m so glad things turned out okay today and that you are feeling better. I hated seeing you so hurt.”</p>
<p>Blaine smiles up at Kurt, whose face hovers just a few inches above him.</p>
<p>“Kiss me?” Blaine requests, hoping he doesn’t sound too desperate. But Kurt is just <em> there </em> right in front of him and they are in private and as close as he is, half on top of Blaine and half on the bed, Blaine would like it if he was a whole lot closer.</p>
<p>The space between them dissolves into the press of lips and the gasping breaths of two teenage boys in love. Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt’s torso and slides his hands up Kurt’s back. His boyfriend is a sculpture and he wants to trace every line and curve until he understands his beauty.</p>
<p>He loves the weight of Kurt on top of him, pressing him down into the mattress. It reminds him of his favorite blanket from childhood; his mother never understood why he insisted on sleeping with the thick, heavy quilt but there was something about the weight that calmed him. Or the way his childhood dog used to sit on his chest. It grounds him not unlike a round with his heavy bag.</p>
<p>Blaine doesn’t always like people close to him and he doesn’t always like to be touched but he likes this; he <em> loves </em> this. All weight on his chest and Kurt’s hands grasping his shoulders or his waist roughly. Not to mention the kissing. He really, <em> really </em> likes the kissing. He understands intellectually that Kurt doesn’t have any experience with kissing before him but Blaine finds it hard to remember because he is just so <em> good </em> at it. Apparently, some people are just born with that gift.</p>
<p>Based on the noises Kurt is making, Blaine is pretty sure he’s enjoying himself just as much. Although now that he’s considering it, he wonders if he should check in. Or would that ruin the mood?</p>
<p>He decides to tell Kurt how much he is enjoying himself. It will give Kurt the opportunity to do the same without introducing any doubt.</p>
<p>Blaine pulls back slightly, pressing a few quick pecks to Kurt’s lips, and then whispers into them, “This feels amazing.”</p>
<p>Their faces are still so close together that he feels rather than sees Kurt’s lips curl into a self-satisfied smile. “It does,” Kurt breathes out. “I’m not crushing you, am I?”</p>
<p>Blaine grins at the realization that Kurt is having the same concerns that he is. His heart swells.</p>
<p>“No, far from it. I actually, um, I really like it. Is that weird?”</p>
<p>Kurt had been resting his weight on his forearms but he lets himself settle his full weight back onto Blaine. Blaine lets out a satisfied sigh. Yes, he definitely likes this. Kurt grins wickedly at him. “Definitely not. I just want you to be comfortable, so that I can be comfortable.” </p>
<p>Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt, one hand at his waist and one hand at the back of his neck, and he whispers back, “I feel <em> very </em> comfortable.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong>Thank you to my beta readers <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> </strong> </p>
<p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p>
<p><strong>Coming Up Next:</strong> uhhhh I'm still writing next chapter 🙈  so tbd! Might be a Sunday update next week we shall see how things progress/how busy Aly is</p>
<h3>Various &amp; Sundry</h3>
<p>
  <strong>Deep Pressure:</strong>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>"there was something about the weight that calmed him"</em>
  </p>
</blockquote>So what is going on here? Thanks to the increased popularity of weighted blankets in recent years, you may be familiar with concept, but this is all about something called "deep pressure." The very basic idea is that this particular type of sensation can be very calming to people and it is one of the reasons that hugs feel so good, because they give us deep pressure. This is a concept that comes out of the field of Occupational Therapy, I believe, and children with sensory processing difficulties may especially benefit from deep pressure. Individuals on the autism spectrum in particular seem to respond well to deep pressure. Temple Grandin even invented a device she called the squeeze machine that allowed her to get that deep pressure feeling that she wanted without having to hug someone, because she did not like hugs. There are modern versions of these today that I've seen used and they are pretty neat; don't freak out, they are designed so that the kid is applying the squeezes to themselves so no one is forcing anything on them or squeezing them too tight. My theory would be this is also why things like boxing or playing instruments forcefully would be calming for Blaine.<p>
  <em>Shout-out to HKvoyage, whose question on the last chapter got me thinking about this and led to me writing this final scene.</em>
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Rules</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hit some nasty writer's block this week but managed to push through it. Most of this was written yesterday so a big "thank you" to Blurglesmurfklaine for some very last minute beta-reading and emotional support.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt checks his watch to see that another five minutes has slipped by and still no sign of his boyfriend. He springs to his feet, too antsy to sit still any longer, and begins to pace the hallway outside the principal’s office.</p><p>Not even the prospect of Indian take-out with Rachel’s family had been able to lure him away from his post. He is determined to be here when the meeting ends.</p><p>Finally, the door to the office opens to reveal the school principal, Ms. Owens, Mr. Anderson, and a teacher Kurt does not recognize. <em> That must be the school social worker. </em></p><p>Blaine comes out last and he doesn’t immediately make eye contact with Kurt. He looks withdrawn, but that could be for a myriad of reasons; it doesn’t necessarily mean that the meeting went poorly. <em> Maybe he’s just tired. </em></p><p>Mr. Anderson shakes Principal Figgins’ hand and then signals for Kurt and Blaine to follow him. Kurt finally is able to catch Blaine’s eye and a soft smile breaks over his face. Kurt is familiar with the range of Blaine Anderson smiles and this one is his favorite; the smile that is just for him.</p><p>Blaine is the one to close the distance between them and take Kurt’s hand, lacing their fingers together. Kurt gives him a reassuring squeeze and Blaine leans in to him for a moment, pressing the sides of their arms together. It sends a wave of syrupy warmth through Kurt’s body immediately followed by a wave of self-consciousness. He can’t help but glance ahead of them to see if Mr. Anderson is looking. He seems to like Kurt well enough but they have only met a few times and never for very long; Kurt still feels like he needs to make a good impression.</p><p>As if sensing Kurt’s gaze, he turns around and asks, “You boys want to get some ice cream or something? My treat.”</p><p>Blaine gives Kurt a silent questioning look. Kurt shrugs and nods.</p><p>“Sure, Dad. That sounds nice.”</p><p>—</p><p>Somehow they end up in the same booth Kurt and Blaine sat at for their very first date. Blaine must be remembering it too because he keeps blushing and ducking his head.</p><p>“Is anyone going to tell me about this meeting or am I going to have to start applying thumbscrews?” Kurt deadpans, awkwardly trying to break the silence with humor.</p><p>Blaine snorts with laughter, but Mr. Anderson merely raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“I…I don’t really have thumbscrews, sir. I’m sorry, it was a bad joke, um…” Kurt tries to backpedal, feeling embarrassed. <em> Why do I say things like that? </em></p><p>“I see that Blaine has found someone who shares his weird sense of humor,” Mr. Anderson responds, his tone inscrutable.</p><p>“Dad!” Blaine protests.</p><p>Just as Kurt is wishing he could melt away like his frozen dessert, Mr. Anderson puts him out of his misery.</p><p>“Good. He needs that.”</p><p>“I…really?” Kurt asks in disbelief.</p><p>Mr. Anderson finally smiles. “I like you two together.”</p><p>“Oh! Th-thank you.”</p><p>Blaine looks a bit pink so at least Kurt isn’t the only one who found the whole exchange rather mortifying. “<em> Anyways, </em> it isn’t too bad. I had to explain my side of things to Ms. Owens—Ms. Sal said it would be good practice advocating for myself in college or something—and then properly apologize for my rude behavior.”</p><p>“Did she seem to understand?” Kurt asks.</p><p>“Yeah, mostly. She even apologized to <em> me </em> for not realizing that having a break was one of my accommodations. I almost never need to use that one so I can sort of understand how she forgot. She also explained that from her perspective it seemed like I just wanted to get out of taking the test, which I didn’t even <em> think </em> about until I talked it all through with Ms. Sal earlier today.”</p><p>“Wait, when did you do that?” </p><p>“She pulled me out of gym class so we could prepare for the meeting. Usually I don’t need help with stuff like that but—she could explain it better—when I get escalated like that my brain kind of shuts down and I tend to only see things from my own point of view. So it helped to talk it all through with her.”</p><p>“Not that I’m complaining, because she seems to have been very helpful, but why exactly was the social worker so involved in this?”</p><p>Blaine let out a nervous laugh. “Well, legally they can’t just discipline me for having a disability and the, uh, getting angry like that <em> is </em> part of my…thing so she is there to make sure it is fair and also to advocate on my behalf and help make sure the teacher and the principal understand. She kind of…mediated the discussion, I guess.”</p><p>Blaine shrugs, looking self-conscious about whether or not his explanation was clear. Kurt gives him a comforting pat on the knee.</p><p>“So what’s going to happen with the PSAT?” Kurt wonders, hoping it won’t stress Blaine out to bring up the topic.</p><p>Blaine looks down in embarrassment. “Looks like there was an error in my application and so the College Board rejected it, even though we had the proper documentation. Ms. Pillsbury is reapplying and though the timetable will be tight, unless anything goes wrong this time I should still be able to get my accommodations approved before the deadline. So my entire future isn’t actually ruined.”</p><p>“Was that really what would have happened?” Kurt has trouble believing that just one thing could doom you forever. </p><p>Blaine shrugs. “I…I’m honestly not sure. I may have jumped to conclusions. I have a bad habit of doing that. I still could have applied next year to get accommodations for the SAT, or if that didn’t work I guess I could go to one of those schools that doesn’t require the SAT or start at community college. I know in my head that those are options but…I just want to be the same as my brother: go to the best college I can get into, study hard, figure out what my passion is, and then pursue it. College means opportunity and I want to have as many as I can. I’m not going to let dyslexia hold me back from my dreams.”</p><p>Kurt reaches under the table to take Blaine’s hand. “Of course you won’t. I believe that completely.”</p><p>Kurt looks up to see Mr. Anderson smiling softly at them. Then he smiles cheekily; an expression Kurt recognizes from seeing the same one on Blaine’s face. “Besides, you think your brother actually studied hard? Bah, he barely passed his general education requirements.”</p><p>Kurt tries and fails to suppress his giggles.</p><p>—</p><p>Rachel never gets sick. Kurt has heard that more times than he can count. And as long as he’s known her, it has held true. She always makes the perfect attendance list at the end of the semester. </p><p>So when she texts him one morning, asking that he pick up missed assignments for her, Kurt is gobsmacked.</p><p>“Rachel’s…sick?” he tells Blaine in disbelief.</p><p>Blaine shrugs, clearly not understanding the significance of this.</p><p>“Rachel is <em> never </em> sick.”</p><p>“No one is never sick,” Blaine counters. He blows on his coffee to cool it down and raises a challenging eyebrow at Kurt, who considers his words.</p><p>“I wonder what’s wrong with her? If it’s anything that affects her voice she will be in a complete panic until she recovers. I take vocal hygiene as seriously as the next singer, but Rachel takes it to previously undiscovered heights of insanity. She drinks this tea, Blaine, that she gets from an herbalist that just comes in a plain paper bag and smells like wet dog.”</p><p>Blaine wrinkles his nose in disgust. “Maybe you should go check on her after school? I have reading therapy until 4:30 but if you want company I can come with you after that.”</p><p>“That’s a nice idea. Maybe I can make her some of my famous chicken noodle soup. Her dads are hopeless in the kitchen; I bet they are only giving her Campbell’s.” Kurt shudders at the thought.</p><p>Talking about food triggers Kurt to think about the day’s lunch; he has never had to fend for himself without Rachel. He bites his lip, wondering if Azimio or Trey will see this as an opportunity for further harassment.</p><p>“Is there a Lunch Bunch today?” he asks, getting an idea.</p><p>“Yeah, why?”</p><p>“Do you want to go?”</p><p>Blaine looks surprised. “You <em> want </em> to come to Lunch Bunch?”</p><p>“Unless I’ve had a stroke I’m pretty sure that’s what I just said, Blaine.”</p><p>“No, sorry, I just…I assumed you wouldn’t want to come back. I dunno.” Blaine looks embarrassed and sips his coffee to avoid looking at Kurt.</p><p>“I thought it was really nice, actually. And it definitely beats eating alone. I would have suggested it earlier, but I’d feel guilty ditching Rachel but can you <em> imagine </em>her with that group? She would put her foot in her mouth within the first five minutes.”</p><p>Blaine laughs, looking relaxed again. “Oh god, she so would.”</p><p>“So, it’s a lunch date?”</p><p>“It’s a lunch date,” Blaine agrees. He kisses Kurt on the cheek before heading to his first class.</p><p>—</p><p>“Kurt’s back!” Suni calls out with delight as soon as they open the door. Her smile is infectious and makes Kurt wish he had done this sooner. “Look, Sarah, it’s Kurt!”</p><p>Sarah turns to look, tucking her perfect blonde hair behind her ear. “Hi, Kurt,” she says with a friendly wave.</p><p>“Hi Sarah, Suni. It’s nice to see you both again.”</p><p>“Kurt was in the garbage,” Sarah says, starting to giggle.</p><p>He furrows his brows in confusion before remembering that the last time he spoke with Sarah, he had indeed been in the garbage.</p><p>Blaine figures this out much faster, quickly responding, “Yes, that’s right. Kurt and I <em> were </em> in the dumpster the last time you saw us.”</p><p>Kurt and Blaine take their seats. Kurt can already tell this is going to be an interesting lunch, and it has nothing to do with the overcooked chicken and undercooked carrots on his plate. <em> I really need to start packing my own lunch. </em></p><p>“Why were you in the dumpster? The dumpster is for trash, not for people,” Vik explains, as if this should settle the matter.</p><p>“Someone should tell Trey and Azimio that,” Kurt mutters under his breath.</p><p>“Trey doesn’t know how trash works?” Sarah asks, looking confused. “But that’s easy. Recycling is hard but trash is easy. People aren’t trash.”</p><p>Kurt struggles to explain. “Um, I think he <em> knows </em> how trash works. He just, um, sometimes he treats people like trash, I guess? It’s, um, do you know what bullying is?”</p><p>“Bullying is bad,” Suni declares solemnly. </p><p>“I agree,” Kurt responds. “Throwing someone in the trash is bullying.”</p><p>“Trey is a bully?” Sarah asks, wide-eyed, turning to Blaine who is clearly a trusted source of information.</p><p>Blaine sighs. “Yeah, Sarah, he is.”</p><p>“But I didn’t see him do bullying.”</p><p>“Bullies don’t bully everyone. Just some people,” Blaine explains.</p><p>“Trey wants to go dates with me. Suni, is it bad go dates with a bully?” Sarah asks her friend.</p><p>Suni looks thoughtful for a moment. “Yes,” she finally decides. “You should only go on dates with nice boys. Bullies aren’t nice.”</p><p>Vik nods in agreement. “Yes, you should date nice boys. Trey was mean to our friend, Kurt, so you should not date him.”</p><p>Sarah nods. “I will tell him ‘no.’ Thank you for your advice.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” Suni replies.</p><p>Kurt is starting to think these kids have better manners than most of his peers.</p><p>Ms. Pillsbury clears her throat. “Kurt, you’re in Glee Club, isn’t that right?”</p><p>Kurt nods.</p><p>“You’re in the show choir?” Vik asks in awe. “Wow, I wish <em> I </em> could be in show choir.” The boy lets out a dejected sigh.</p><p>“Are you any good at singing?”</p><p>“I have perfect pitch,” Vik replies. It comes out as a fact rather than a boast.</p><p>“Who says you can’t do it?” Blaine asks. “You could always audition, right Kurt?”</p><p>“Sure, I don’t see why not. Regionals are coming up pretty soon so you might not be ready in time to come compete but I don’t see why you couldn’t still rehearse with us.” Kurt hopes what he says is true. Surely Mr. Schuester would at least let the boy audition. Kurt has no idea if his disability—and Kurt doesn’t even know what that might be—would make him worse at learning the songs or the dances but surely he deserves the same chance as anyone else. Most of the students at McKinley would be horrible at show choir; it doesn’t seem like this is a special ed versus gen ed type of thing.</p><p>Vik looks at him with big, hopeful eyes. “Really? I’ll practice every day!”</p><p>“I can’t promise you’ll get in but let me ask Mr. Schuester about at least getting you an audition, okay?”</p><p>“Okay!”</p><p>—</p><p>After school, Kurt picks up Blaine in his car and drives them both over to Rachel’s house.</p><p>“So, Rachel has two dads?” Blaine asks in the car.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“That’s cool.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>The conversation falters for a moment but rather than letting the silence turn awkward, both boys begin to snicker in amusement. </p><p>“I hope I didn’t get Vik’s hopes up for nothing,” Kurt confesses. “I’m a little worried. He looked so excited that I would hate for him to be disappointed.”</p><p>“You didn’t overpromise,” Blaine reassures him. “And he deserves a fair shot.”</p><p>“What do you think gave him the impression he couldn’t try out? There can’t be a rule against that, right? Like that can’t be legal.”</p><p>“No, I doubt there’s a rule. Although…maybe in Vik’s mind there was.”</p><p>“Huh? What does that mean?”</p><p>“Well, Vik is kind of a rules guy. He never cheats when we play cards and it’s easy to get him to do what he’s supposed to, but…I dunno, sometimes he kind of makes up his own rules? I’m not explaining that very well, I’m no expert. Like, I asked him to bring in his drawings to show me but he refused. He just kept saying that he only does art at home until I finally stopped asking.”</p><p>Kurt remembers Vik’s words from earlier: <em> The dumpster is for trash, not for people. </em> That was a rule he could get behind. Sarah was right. People are not trash. No matter what bullies might think. </p><p>“Maybe there’s something to that, to Vik’s outlook on life. It seems like Vik and the others see some things a lot more clearly than the rest of us. Bullying is wrong. People don’t belong in the trash. It really is that simple. Maybe they have the right idea. Maybe we should be more like them.”</p><p>Blaine gives him a blazing look. “Have I mentioned that I love you yet today?”</p><p>Kurt has heard the words plenty of times now but his heart still stumbles over them each time. “Even if you have, I never tire of hearing it.”</p><p>Kurt parks the car and the boys walk up the driveway to Rachel’s house, hand in hand. Kurt stops halfway up the drive to throw his arms around Blaine’s middle and squeeze him tight to his chest.</p><p>“What was that for?”</p><p>“I just...love you too,” Kurt explains with a helpless shrug. Sometimes he is overcome with the need to be close to Blaine and in moments like these he sees no reason to hold back. There is no one around and Blaine deserves to know how special he is and how much Kurt appreciates him. Blaine returns the hug, letting out a contented sigh as Kurt squeezes him extra hard for a moment. He remembers what Blaine said about weight on top of him feeling comforting and files this away for later as perhaps another example of that phenomenon. </p><p>One of Rachel’s dads, Hiram, opens the door and ushers the boys in.</p><p>“How’s Rachel?” Kurt asks, looking around the living room to see if she is nearby, perhaps curled up with an afgan on the couch with that god-awful tea.</p><p>Hiram shakes his head despondently. “Not good, I’m afraid. It’s her worst fear: laryngitis.”</p><p>Kurt gasps in horror. Laryngitis: a singer’s worst nightmare. Hiram nods knowingly but Blaien looks confused.</p><p>“Well, that’s not so bad, right? She just needs some time to rest and she’ll be back to normal in no time. It’s not as if it’s something <em> really </em> serious.”</p><p>Kurt shakes his head. “You’ll have to excuse my boyfriend, here; he has a heart of gold but he just doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a performer.”</p><p>Blaine snorts and rolls his eyes, a glint of amusement reassuring Kurt that he isn’t truly offended.</p><p>Hiram tries to explain. “Rachel’s voice is her instrument. Without it, she cannot do her craft. Were it to be damaged, she cannot merely bring it to the music store to trade it in for a replacement.”</p><p>“Oh, wow. I guess I hadn’t thought about it that way before.” Blaine looks humbled.</p><p>“We brought soup,” Kurt says as he pulls a large thermos out from his bookbag. “It’s homemade; don’t worry, it’s all organic and I substituted vegetable broth.”</p><p>Hiram claps his hands together in delight. “You wonderful boy.”</p><p>“Blaine helped,” Kurt adds, wanting to make sure Rachel’s dads get a good impression. “We’ve also brought all of Rachel’s assignments. She missed a quiz in history but Mr. Hernandez said it would be alright for her to take it when she gets back.”</p><p>“Oh, thank you. You really are such a good friend to our little Rahela. Why don’t you go on up to her room and see if she’s awake? I know it would lift her spirits to see you.”</p><p>Kurt leads Blaine up the stairs and shows him to Rachel’s shockingly pink bedroom. The door is only half closed so rather than knocking, Kurt decides to just poke his head in. He discovers that Rachel is, indeed, awake. She is propped up with plenty of pillows in her bed, reading a novel. The humidifier hums loudly from the corner of the room; Kurt nods approvingly when he spots it. The moisture will soothe her irritated vocal cords.</p><p>“Hey Rach,” he says as gently as possible. “We came by to check on you. I’ve brought soup and your classwork.”</p><p>Rachel points over to a small white desk in the corner so Kurt places his gifts there. It does not escape his notice that Rachel has yet to speak.</p><p>“How are you feeling?” Blaine asks. He rubs his hands nervously up and down his thighs, standing awkwardly in the corner as if he is afraid to touch anything. <em> Blaine hasn’t been here before. </em></p><p>Rachel’s face grows solemn and she looks down. At first, Kurt thinks she is going to cry but then he realizes that she is looking for something. She produces a floral patterned notebook and a large novelty pen from under one of the pillows and begins to write. When she is finished, she holds up her notebook for them to read.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><em> “My voice is gone. GONE!! Kapish. Vanished. I’m talking no phonation </em> <em> at all </em> <em> !!” </em></p>
</blockquote><p>Kurt wants to climb into the bed and give her an enormous hug but he holds back, thinking of his own voice. <em> She might be contagious </em>. Rachel’s face screws up in a look of determination as she writes more.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em> “I want you to have my solo, Kurt. If I can’t do it, I need you to take my place. Will you be my second?” </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Kurt rolls his eyes but underneath that, he is incredibly touched, especially considering how ruthlessly competitive his best friend usually is. </p><p>“It’s not a duel, Rach, but I’d be honored. I’ll have to practice around the clock but I know I can nail it. Are you sure?”</p><p>She nods, a tear finally escaping from her dark chocolate eyes and careening down her cheek.</p><p>—</p><p>“Mr. Schuester? May I speak with you for a moment?”</p><p>“Of course, Kurt. How can I help you?” He gestures for Kurt to follow him from the choir room into the attached office.</p><p>“Would you consider allowing a mid-year audition?”</p><p>“That depends. Is it a new student? Is there a reason they missed the first round of auditions?”</p><p>“Um, no, it isn’t a new student. But he—Vik, that’s his name—he didn’t think he would be welcome in glee. But you always say that Glee Club is where outcasts come to feel accepted so, I thought that surely that wasn’t true.”</p><p>Mr. Schuester’s forehead crinkles as he ponders Kurt’s words. He shakes his head, looking sad.</p><p>“You’re right, Kurt, of course you are. If he didn’t feel welcome then we will just have to try that much harder to prove to him otherwise. You are welcome to bring your friend to our next rehearsal and we’ll see him audition. Is there anything else I need to know?” </p><p>Kurt freezes. Should he tell Mr. Schuester that Vik had special needs? Was that his place to say? He wanted to respect Vik’s privacy as well as not prejudice Mr. Schuester against him. On the other hand, it was pretty obvious to anyone who met Vik that something was different about him. It wasn’t as if he could really fly under the radar. Maybe it was better to forewarn Mr. Schuester so he wasn’t taken by surprise. <em> Oh god what if someone makes fun of him? He would feel so bad! I can’t let that happen. </em></p><p>Having taken Kurt’s silence as his answer, Mr. Schuester rises to his feet and escorts Kurt out of his office. <em> Well, I guess we'll just have to see. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong>Thank you to my beta reader for this chapter: <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> </strong> </p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p><strong>Coming Up Next:</strong> Regionals, probably. I haven't actually written it 😬.</p><h3>Various &amp; Sundry</h3><p><strong>Story coming to a close:</strong><br/>I do need to put it out there that I think this story is nearly finished. I suspect there are 1-2 more chapters left (I apologize if that feel sudden; I really do write very much by feel and the story ends when it "tells me" that it is time to end, and this time it snuck up on me a bit). I had a spark of inspiration just earlier this week of how I think the story could end, which really helped me see that I'm nearly there. This is certainly a universe I could see coming back to at some point so I won't close the book on it forever, but at least for now, I am just bursting at the seams with story ideas and I want to write one of them next!</p><p>I do find inspiration in your comments, so if there is an unanswered question or a moment you were hoping to see, feel free to let me know and it just might influence what gets included in the final chapter(s).</p><p><strong>Rule Followers</strong> I've worked a lot with teenagers like Vik, who are very rule-oriented. I have seen ones who get hugely anxious about the idea of accidentally breaking a rule, I've seen ones who don't give a shit about external rules but have very specific idiosyncratic rules that they have constructed, and everything in between. While one the surface, someone being what we in the special ed biz often call "a rule follower" may sound like it would make teaching them very easy, it can actually lead to lots of problems, even with things like safety. The students I've worked with who have this as part of their cognitive profile have difficulty with overapplying rules or with inferring what the rule is and getting it wrong. For example, if the rule is "don't talk to strangers" a bad actor could introduce themselves and then the "rule follower" might decide this means they are not a stranger anymore. The example of Vik and his art comes straight from something I've seen with several students where they have a really stark separation between home and school and will refuse to allow for crossover. </p><p>I think the biggest thing I've learned in my job is that if you are interacting with someone who is a "rule follower" the first step in figuring out why they did something is figuring out if there is a "rule" they were following. It can turn the most inexplicable behavior into downright logical when you approach it this way. Of course, it can take some detective work, especially when the individual also has challenges with communication, but I find that it is always worth the time. Only then can you teach them to do something different or help them understand why what they did was not acceptable.</p><p>Some of my online friends have heard this story, because it is one of my favorite, but I'll tell it here to illustrate the point. I had a young man on the autism spectrum that I worked with several years ago. Our school has a little store that the students take turns working at so they can learn how to operate a cash register and various other work skills. One day, my student was checking out a customer (doing great) until the customer told him to "keep the change" and then walked away. My student suddenly became enraged and yelled "no!" and started chasing the customer (another student) down the school hallway. I managed to get him to come back to the store and stop chasing the kid, but then was left to figure out what the hell just happened. What I figured out after asking the kid a lot of questions was that the rule he had in his head was "stealing is bad; don't steal." To him, the situation presented itself as one where he was being given money that did not belong to him. In other words, if he accepted the change, that made him a thief and "stealing is bad." Furthermore, "if I steal, then I am bad. I don't want to be bad. I must give the money back so that I am not stealing anymore." That was essentially the thought process that led to the reaction. Once I was able to explain to him that this was a normal thing that happens at stores, he was fine and it was never an issue again.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Take a Chance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I decided to take Thanksgiving weekend off (hopefully most of you saw my announcement on tumblr and weren't confused by the lack of update) but we're back! </p><p>This will *not* be the last chapter, but probably the penultimate.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m thinking about inviting Rachel to Lunch Bunch.”</p><p>“What changed your mind?” Blaine asks, turning from the large photograph he had been studying for the past several minutes to look directly at Kurt.</p><p>“Vik. I thought maybe if I could introduce Rachel to him ahead of time, that maybe she could be an ally when he joins Glee Club.”</p><p>“I think that’s a great idea.”</p><p>They walk to the next photograph, this one showing a young man squatting on the floor, arms arranged in elegant angles, adoring onlookers cheering and waving paper fans at him.</p><p>Kurt smiles widely and sings quietly under his breath, just loud enough for Blaine to hear. <em> “Don’t just stand there, let’s get to it. Strike a pose, there’s nothing to it. Vogue.” </em></p><p>Grinning, Blaine splays his arms out, doing his best to imitate the poise of the young dancer in the image. Carefree laughter bubbles up from Kurt’s belly until he joins in, bending and unbending his elbows, hoping that he looks fierce but suspicious that he looks ridiculous. </p><p>Thankfully, they have the tiny gallery to themselves at the moment, so there are no other patrons to glare disapprovingly at them. The gallery docent is wearing earbuds and painting her nails, oblivious to their antics. </p><p>They move on to a new set of images depicting women in elegant dresses befitting a Hollywood red carpet. “Are these trans women or drag queens?” Kurt asks hesitantly, hoping the question is not so ignorant as to be offensive.</p><p>Blaine shrugs. “I’m honestly not sure, but regardless don’t they look incredible?”</p><p>Kurt lets out a sigh of appreciation. “Absolutely stunning.”</p><p>Blaine gives him a cheeky grin. “Why thank you? I am, aren’t I?”</p><p>Kurt shoves him playfully, mindful not to push too hard and endanger any of the artwork. He quickly wipes Blaine’s look of mock indignation from his face by grabbing his boyfriend by his hands and pulling him in for a hug, whispering in his ear, “Most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”</p><p>—</p><p>“I didn’t even know the numbers went up to 207 in this hallway,” Rachel comments as she follows Kurt to the room. “Are you sure you have the number right?” The hoarseness in her voice cannot fully disguise the skepticism in it . Four days and a hefty dose of antibiotics later and Rachel can finally speak, although her voice sounds ragged and Kurt sees her wince sometimes when she accidentally speaks too loud in excitement. </p><p>Kurt rolls his eyes. As usual, Rachel struggles when confronted with not knowing something. “Well, it’s not a room you would ever have classes in.”</p><p>“Huh?” Rachel stops in the hallway, crosses her arms, and looks at Kurt with confusion. “What are you saying? Is it like an honors only classroom or something? I could do it.”</p><p>“No, no, Rachel.” He lets out a sigh, deciding he should probably just explain. “It’s a special education classroom. Students who have, uh, special needs come here to get extra help with homework and stuff. They also have a little lunch group where the teacher helps them practice their social skills; that’s what we’re going to.”</p><p>“And you said that <em> Blaine </em> likes to eat here? But why… Oh!” </p><p>Kurt can see the moment when Rachel finally puts it together. Her eyes go wide and just gapes silently at him for a minute. Kurt doesn’t respond, waiting until she is done processing this new information. <em> I definitely made the right call doing this without Blaine </em>. </p><p>“Blaine…?”</p><p>Kurt finishes the thought for her. “…is dyslexic. Look don’t start treating him differently or something, he’s just a normal teenager who learns a bit differently. He just has a different study hall than you do.”</p><p>Rachel nods solemnly. “I won’t. I’m sorry I overreacted, I guess I was just surprised. But you’re right, of course you’re right. Besides, you and I are different too, in our own ways. I think that means that Blaine fits in just right.”</p><p>“I’m glad you feel that way, Rachel, because there’s someone special I want to introduce you to. Someone who I think might find Glee Club is somewhere that he can be accepted. But I’m going to need your help.”</p><p>—</p><p>“Good afternoon, resource students! My name is Rachel Berry—no, there is no need to applaud.”</p><p><em> No one was going to </em>.</p><p>Suni, Sarah, and Vik all blink at Rachel a few times before one by one extending their hands and introducing themselves in the now familiar overly rehearsed manner.</p><p>“You are friends with Kurt?” Vik asks.</p><p>“Oh, yes! Kurt is my very best friend,” Rachel enthuses, wrapping an arm around Kurt’s shoulders and squeezing him in tight for a sideways hug. Kurt smiles at her with affection but then wriggles out of her grasp, smoothing the wrinkles she has pressed into his sweater.</p><p>“But I thought Kurt was <em> Blaine’s </em> best friend,” Sarah asks in confusion.</p><p>Kurt had assumed Sarah understood that they were dating, but apparently that was not the case. </p><p>Rachel reaches out to pat the girl’s hand and gives her a patronizing look. “Oh, honey, no. Kurt and Blaine are more than friends.”</p><p>Sarah nods in understanding. “Yes. Best friends <em> is </em>more than friends.”</p><p>Blaine ducks his head and Kurt detects the tiniest sliver of embarrassment in his face when he lifts it back up.</p><p>“Sarah tends to take things a bit literally, Rachel. I don’t think she knows that expression.” Blaine turns to Sarah. “What Rachel means is that Kurt isn’t just my friend; he is also my boyfriend. Sometimes when people are dating, we say they are ‘more than friends.’”</p><p>Sarah’s nose wrinkles up as she processes this new information. Kurt begins to feel nervous, wondering what Sarah will say. While he is used to arguing against homophobes, he isn’t quite sure how to do that with someone like Sarah, who doesn’t think or communicate in quite the same way that he does.</p><p>In the end, Sarah simply responds with, “I need to add that to my idioms list.”</p><p>Kurt clears his throat, ready for a topic change. “So, Rachel, Vik is the one I told you about who is auditioning for Glee Club this week.”</p><p>“And what will you be auditioning with, Vik?” she asks, rounding on the boy immediately.</p><p>Kurt fears that Rachel’s usual level of intensity will intimidate him, but Vik seems utterly unaffected.</p><p>“I will be singing ABBA.”</p><p>“You have the range for that?”</p><p>“Yes. I wouldn’t have chosen it if I didn’t. Plus, I already know all of the words,” Vik responds, still not balking under Rachel’s questioning. “<em> Mamma Mia </em> is my favorite film.” He takes a bite of his sandwich, cool as a cucumber.</p><p>Rachel nods approvingly. “Will you be bringing your own backing music or will you need someone to play piano for you? If you’d like, our accompanist can do that but he’ll need the sheet music at least three days in advance.”</p><p>Vik shrugs. “I don’t have both—either—of those. What do I do?”</p><p>“Not to worry! I have the complete ABBA discography on my karaoke machine. I’ll bring it for you on Thursday, okay?”</p><p>“That will be fine, thank you.”</p><p>Vik takes another bite of his sandwich, having survived his first encounter with Rachel Berry. The kid was unflappable and Kurt is quietly pleased. <em> I think you’re going to do well here. </em></p><p>—</p><p>Vik stands at the front of the choir room in white pants and a white shirt, like he had stepped right off the album cover. </p><p>“Cool threads,” Artie calls out, giving Vik an encouraging smile.</p><p>“Oh no, do I have a loose thread?” Vik asks, looking down to examine the hem of his top.</p><p>Artie stares at him in confusion and Kurt begins to feel his palms sweat. </p><p>But then Puckerman of all people is suddenly there to smooth over any awkwardness. “Nah, man. You’re good! He just likes your outfit.”</p><p>Vik beams. “Thank you!” He presses play on Rachel’s tiny pink karaoke machine and begins to sing. </p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-crgQGdpZR0">Take a chance on me</a><br/>Gonna do my very best<br/>And it ain't no lie<br/>If you put me to the test<br/>If you let me try</p><p>Take a chance on me<br/>That's all I ask of you, honey<br/>Take a chance on me</p><p>As promised, Vik sings perfectly in tune and Kurt sees great potential in him. He’s probably never had formal vocal training but once they get him up to speed, he will be a fine asset to the team. His facial expressions are ever so slightly <em> off </em> when he performs, smiling just a little bit too big, eyes stretched a little too wide, but surely that is something that he can work on.</p><p>When his performance is done, Kurt glances around the choir room to gauge the reactions of his teammates. Rachel claps loudly and rises to her feet. Finn and Puckerman follow suit. <em> Come on guys. Take a chance on him. </em></p><p>Mr. Schuester walks up to Vik and claps him on the shoulder. “Welcome to the New Directions!”</p><p>Vik squirms away. “Please do not touch me.”</p><p>Mr. Schuester awkwardly wrings his hands and looks at the floor. “Uh, alright, then. As I was saying, let’s give a warm welcome to Vikram Rosenberg.” </p><p>—</p><p>Rachel takes the bus ride to Regionals as an invitation to interrogate Vik. Neither of them will be performing on stage but both insisted on coming to support the team from the audience. Rachel is still on strict orders from her ENT and Vik wasn’t able to learn a full set of vocals and choreography in just three weeks. </p><p>“Rosenberg? Is your family by any chance Jewish?” she asks.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“But then why is that your name?” she tries again.</p><p>“I do not understand this question.”</p><p>“Where are you from?”</p><p>“Ohio. Where are you from?”</p><p>Rachel lets out an exasperated sigh. This conversation is not going at all the way she wants it to. Kurt shoves a fist up against his mouth to suppress his giggles.</p><p>“So no one in your family is Jewish?” she asks, completely ignoring Vik’s question.</p><p>“My grandparents are Jewish. My father used to be Jewish but he converted to Hinduism when he married my mom.”</p><p>“Oh, okay! That’s so cool.”</p><p>“Is that cool? I did not think that was cool. Thank you, Rachel.”</p><p>
  <em> Maybe Vik is the perfect antidote to Rachel’s insanity. </em>
</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt paces the floor of the green room, too nervous to sit down. “Has anyone ever actually died on stage?” he asks no one in particular.</p><p>Rachel puts an arm around him and rubs soothing circles into his back. “You’re going to be amazing. As devastated as I am about not getting to perform the song myself, if I couldn’t be the one to sing it I’m so glad it’s you, Kurt. Do you know where Blaine’s seat is? You probably won’t be able to see him over the stage lights but maybe if you just look in that general direction it will feel like you’re singing it to him.”</p><p>Kurt feels himself getting a little choked up at that thought. He had never mentioned it to Rachel, but of course Blaine was the only person he could think about when he performed this song.</p><p>“I’m going to see if he still has his phone on,” Kurt says, taking a step back from Rachel and pulling his phone out of his pocket. He sees “break a leg” texts from Blaine and his dad, but quickly dismisses them to speed dial Blaine’s number.</p><p>“Kurt? Is everything okay?” Blaine’s voice comes out in a whispered rush of concern.</p><p>“I’m fine, just wanted to hear your voice for a moment before we go on.”</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>“Please don’t laugh at me but honestly I’m completely terrified. What if I screw it up? I haven’t had as long to practice as Rachel did.”</p><p>“Kurt, honey, breathe.”</p><p>He stops to take in a few deep breaths. The panic swirling in the pit of his stomach begins to settle.</p><p>“Thank you. Where are your seats?”</p><p>“Your dad made us get here an hour early so we have excellent seats, about halfway back right in the middle.”</p><p>“<em> Five minutes, New Directions. Five minutes!” </em> a voice crackles over the intercom.</p><p>“I have to go soon,” Kurt says regretfully.</p><p>“Kurt, you are so talented and you always sing with such emotion. I just know that you are going to be amazing out there. But even if it all goes terribly wrong, you will still get a big hug and a kiss from me after, okay? Break a leg, Kurt! I love you!”</p><p>Blaine’s words wrap themselves around him like a warm blanket, soothing his nerves and reinvigorating his confidence. <em> I can do this. Just watch me. </em></p><p>“I love you,” Kurt manages to choke out, feeling suddenly emotional. He follows his team out to the wings of the stage, getting into their places as the previous choir finishes the final notes of their last song. The crowd applauds and Kurt steps to the side to allow the other team to pass by. <em> In a few minutes this will all be over and I will be stepping back off this stage. And no matter what, Blaine and my Dad and Rachel will all be there loving and supporting me. </em>He takes a deep breath, trying to draw strength from each oxygen molecule as his lungs fill. He holds the air briefly and then releases it, concentrating on expelling his fears and insecurities right along with the unwanted CO2. </p><p><em> “From Lima, Ohio. Now presenting, the New Directions!” </em> The announcer’s voice fills the theater and the opening notes of Kurt’s solo begin.</p><p>He steps out onto the stage.</p><p>Deep breath.</p><p>Do or die.</p><p>
  <em>Time to shine.</em>
</p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWfjlIMiqBg">She just wants to be beautiful</a><br/>She goes unnoticed, she knows no limits<br/>She craves attention, she praises an image<br/>She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor<br/>Oh, she don't see the light that's shining<br/>Deeper than the eyes can find it<br/>Maybe we have made her blind<br/>So she tries to cover up her pain and cut her woes away<br/>'Cause covergirls don't cry after their face is made</p><p>When he looks out into the crowd, the lights are blindingly bright. But in his mind and in his heart, he sees Blaine smiling back at him. Wiping away a tear. Knowing that Kurt sings every word for him.</p><p>But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark<br/>You should know you're beautiful just the way you are<br/>And you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart<br/>No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful</p><p>—</p><p>“And the Midwest Regional Show Choir champions are… the New Directions!”</p><p>The auditorium—thrumming silently with the tension of bowstring pulled taut just moments before—erupts with sound and movement. Kurt is surrounded by exhaultant screams and the bodies of his teammates press in close around him as dancing breaks out on the stage.</p><p>Hands grab at him, pulling, and then lifting. For the briefest moment, Kurt is filled with a familiar dread because this has only ever ended one way before: sailing up and over the metal wall of the dumpster to land as yet another cast off thing. Then, he dismisses the thought as his body is lifted high into the air, hands securely grasping him by his thighs. Puck and Mike have hoisted him up into the air like a human trophy, holding him aloft with triumph. </p><p>He looks down to see that the audience has begun to rush the stage, with Rachel making it to him first. She reaches up, grasping onto his hand and squeezing him for dear life. </p><p>“Come on, son, put down my boy so I can give him a hug from his old man.” Kurt would recognize that voice anywhere.</p><p>
  <em> Dad! </em>
</p><p>Kurt beams and immediately begins fidgeting, signaling to his teammates that he wants to be released. He doesn’t land on the ground so much as directly into his father’s arms. Kurt’s dad wraps him up in a tight hug and then he is off his feet again, twirling through the air, before being set down.</p><p>“Dad!” he complains in faux distress.</p><p>“Oh hush, let your old man be proud of you. You sounded amazing up there, kiddo! I can’t believe you got that solo down in just three weeks. You were better than that girl who sings it on the radio.”</p><p>Kurt shrugs, suddenly humble. “It took a lot of practice. And Rachel gave me some pointers.”</p><p>Finally released from his Dad, Rachel grabs him around his middle from behind and pulls him close, kissing him on the cheek. </p><p>Kurt wonders if so much joy is healthy.</p><p>But someone is missing. The person he needs for this moment to be complete. He scans the crowd for a mop of curls, finally spotting <em> him </em> pressed up against the wall at the edge of the theater.</p><p>
  <em> Oh yeah. Crowds. </em>
</p><p>“Excuse me for a moment,” Kurt says to Rachel and his dad, before extracting himself from their celebratory touches. </p><p>He slips through the crowd, weaving his way to Blaine. He loses sight of him for a while, lost in the sea of strangers, but then he emerges to see Blaine’s face lighting up like a solar flare. There are still people nearby, pressing in on him as he walks toward Blaine, but suddenly Blaine pushes off from the wall and meets Kurt halfway, gathering him into his arms for the promised hug. Kurt feels every muscle in his body go lax against Blaine’s body. Blaine stumbles for a moment before shifting to support more of Kurt’s weight, wrapping a strong arm around his waist tightly, pulling him even closer.</p><p>Kurt presses his face into the soft fabric of Blaine’s sweatshirt, letting himself feel surrounded by his warmth. Blaine’s breath tickles his ear as he whispers his congratulations. Kurt pulls back just far enough so he can see Blaine’s eyes shining at him. “I’m so proud of you Kurt. Seeing you up there, singing your heart out, singing <em> that song </em>. You left my breathless, Kurt.”</p><p>“Do you know who I was thinking about when I was singing it?”</p><p>One corner of Blaine’s mouth curls up into a half smile. “Well, I wouldn’t want to presume but I did hope…”</p><p>“...that it’s you? Of course it was for you, Blaine! It could never be about anyone else. I hope you know that to me you are perfect exactly the way you are. I wouldn’t change anything about you.”</p><p>Blaine has to blink back tears. “The feeling is definitely mutual.” Kurt feels the magnetic pull of Blaine’s eyes and he has to tear himself away before he ends up making out with his boyfriend in the middle of a crowded auditorium.</p><p>Taking Blaine’s hand, he leads him back towards the stage, staying near the wall, where the crowd is less. Kurt leads him backstage, through one of the side doors he discovered earlier during a break from rehearsals. Amidst the thick ropes and heavy curtains, among the discarded props and abandoned show programs, Blaine finally gives Kurt the kiss he had promised him. Warm lips press against his and once again Kurt is airborne; flying high on top of the world.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong>Thank you to my beta reader for this chapter <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> </strong> </p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p><strong>Coming Up Next:</strong> The end! (most likely) Can ya'll tell I've stopped having these written much in advance?</p><h3>Various &amp; Sundry</h3><p><strong>Music Info</strong><br/>Take a Chance on Me - ABBA<br/>Scars to Your Beautiful - Alessia Cara</p><p>Scars to Your Beautiful breaks my timeline but I decided I didn't care. I linked to a lyrics video in the text of the story for those who might want to listen along, but the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWASeaYuHZo">official music video</a>  is worth a watch since it has people showing and talking about their actual scars.</p><p>I don't have any cute factoids for you this time but feel free to drop questions in the comments and I'll of course be delighted to answer them.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Good News</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am so sorry for how long this final chapter took to come out but I'm so excited so share it with you finally! I care a lot about giving my stories satisfying endings so I hope you will find that this one meets the mark. I will admit to getting pretty emotional writing this.</p><p>A very happy new year to you all! Hoping that better things will come in 2021.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Kurt! I have good news,” Rachel declares brightly.</p><p>“Hello to you too, Rachel,” Kurt responds dryly.</p><p>Rachel lets out a loud huff of complaint before barrelling onwards with her announcement. “My sabbatical has come to an end.”</p><p>Kurt raises an eyebrow at her in confusion. <em> Sabbatical?  </em></p><p>“My vocal restrictions,” she explains, frowning slightly at Kurt for not understanding her immediately.</p><p>“Oh! That’s great, Rach!”</p><p>She claps her hands together gleefully. “I know! Everyone will be so pleased. I know how hard it was carrying on without me.”</p><p>Kurt has to hold his breath to suppress the laughter he feels bubbling up from his gut.</p><p>“I think I should sing something to celebrate. What do you think? Happy Days Are Here Again? All Right Now?”</p><p>“Rachel, you know I love you but I think they might never let you sing again if you perform either of those numbers.”</p><p>“I suppose you’re right. We’ll workshop it over lunch. Come on, we should get to class; do you need anything else from your locker?”</p><p>Kurt takes a final look at himself in his locker mirror, pats a flyaway into place, and then closes the locker door. He links elbows with Rachel and walks down the hallway to first period with his best friend.</p><p>—</p><p>“Kurrrrrt!” </p><p>He hears his name echoing down the hallway before he sees the jogging figure come tearing around the corner and catapulting into his arms.</p><p>“Kurt! I did it!”</p><p>Kurt happily accepts the ball of energy, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and allowing himself to be picked up and twirled around in excitement.</p><p>“Blaine?” he asks breathlessly, when Blaine finally sets him back on his feet.</p><p>Blaine thrusts a piece of rumpled paper into Kurt’s hands. It is a letter.</p><p>
  <em> Dear Mr. Anderson, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The College Board has received your updated request for accommodations form and the accompanying documentation. The initial request was not approved due to only meeting six of the seven criteria required for supporting documentation. Accommodations were requested related to the diagnosis of Reading Disorder (DSM-IV 315.00). The College Board has approved the following accommodations: reader, extended time (1.5x), and extra breaks. Thank you for... </em>
</p><p>“Oh my god! Your PSAT request for accommodations was approved!”</p><p>Kurt pulls back so he can see Blaine’s face. His eyes are shining under the fluorescents. </p><p>“Honey, are you crying?”</p><p>Blaine blushes and tries to hide his face. “I just… I know I overreacted the first time but I really was worried and...” Blaine trails off, seemingly lost for words to explain how he feels.</p><p>Kurt cups Blaine’s face with his hands and soothingly brushes his thumbs over his boyfriend’s cheekbones, wiping away any tears that have fallen. Blaine’s eyes widen in response and Kurt worries he has accidentally set off another wave of tears.</p><p>“Hey,” he says softly. “Shh...it’s okay.”</p><p>Blaine nods and the movement feels strange to Kurt, who is still cradling his head as it tilts forward and then back up. He grasps Blaine’s face a little more firmly. “I love you, okay?”</p><p>Blaine’s shoulders quake for a moment and he nods again, “Yeah, I know. And… I think I’m just in shock from the relief or something. I don’t even know how I’m feeling it’s just overwhelming.”</p><p>“Do you want me to hug you some more?”</p><p>Blaine looks at him shyly. “Yes, please.”</p><p>Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine and pulls him in close. Blaine lets out a sigh of satisfaction and burrows his face deeply into Kurt’s shoulder. They hold each other in silence for a few minutes until eventually Blaine’s arms loosen their grip and he pulls back. This time his face is clear of tears and he’s grinning widely.</p><p>“I’m going to kick this test in the <em> balls </em>,” Blaine declares with a twinkle in his eye and then he pumps his fist triumphantly in the air.</p><p>Kurt laughs. “Hell yeah, you are!”</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt insists on taking Blaine out for a celebratory dinner in honor of getting his accommodations approved. They end up at Breadstix, since it’s the closest sit-down restaurant to McKinley and it strikes the right balance between feeling like a <em> destination </em> and being affordable on a high schooler’s meagre budget.</p><p>“Order anything you like, Blaine. This is your night!” Kurt insists.</p><p>“<em> Anything </em>?” Blaine asks, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.</p><p>“Oh dear, you’re going to make me regret this aren’t you?”</p><p>“Well, it’s just that I find myself working up an appetite for… ravioli? No, that’s not right. Pizza? Hmm...I mean that does sound delicious but then again, there’s always chicken parmesan. Oh well, I guess I’d better order all of them! And...hmm...oh let’s say...twelve milkshakes, that’s probably enough, right?”</p><p>Kurt just rolls his eyes. “Fine, but you’re on your own with the medical bills.”</p><p>Blaine drops his jaw in mock disbelief.</p><p>When the waiter actually comes to take their order, Blaine ends up just ordering ravioli and a chocolate milkshake.</p><p>“Kurt? Blaine?” a voice calls out over the murmur of dinner conversation bubbling around them.</p><p>Kurt swings around to see who is calling their names. It is Rachel and she isn’t alone. </p><p><em> Finn? </em> </p><p>He responds with a friendly wave and then Rachel is striding quickly towards them, Finn in tow. She lets go of his sleeve when they get to the table. Without so much as asking, Rachel drops down onto the end of the bench and starts sliding towards Kurt, apparently deciding to join them in their booth meant for two.</p><p>Kurt ends up pressed tightly up against Blaine on his left—really, he finds it hard to complain—with Rachel and Finn both having managed to squeeze in on his right.</p><p>“Are you guys on a date?” Rachel asks, waggling her eyebrows.</p><p>“Until you crashed it,” Kurt mutters loudly enough for Rachel to hear.</p><p>Blaine just laughs. “Yes, what about you?”</p><p>Rachel’s eyes widen in horror. Kurt stomps on Blaine’s foot under the table and hisses his name. Blaine mouths ‘sorry’ and shrugs. </p><p>Finn, clearly missing Rachel’s reaction altogether, gives an easy smile and responds with, “Nah, Rachel just wanted to ask me about football, right Rach?”</p><p>Rachel lets out a strangled cough. “Yup! That’s, uh, that’s why we’re out for dinner together.”</p><p>Kurt nearly loses it, but thankfully he has Blaine to squeeze his thigh under the table in warning; the brief moment of pain is enough to clear his mind and keep the laughter from coming out.</p><p>Blaine clears his throat and changes the subject. “So, how is Vik doing in glee club?”</p><p>“He’s an excellent vocalist,” Rachel enthuses. “He needs to work on his dancing so Mr. Schuester is making him go to ‘booty camp.’”</p><p>“Yeah, but so is half the club,” Kurt adds, wanting to reassure Blaine that Vik isn’t being singled out. “Finn has to go too, right Finn?”</p><p>“Rachel says I have two right feet,” Finn explains.</p><p>Kurt snorts. “You mean two <em> left </em> feet?”</p><p>Finn shrugs and smiles goodnaturedly at Kurt. “Well, whichever feet they are, they never seem to step where they’re supposed to.”</p><p>“He isn’t <em> that </em> bad,” Rachel insists, batting her eyes at Finn.</p><p><em> The girl is smitten </em>.</p><p>“Rachel, you literally have bruises from when Finn elbowed you during booty camp last week,” Kurt points out.</p><p>Finn winces and looks apologetic.</p><p>“So, is it your anniversary or something?” Finn asks.</p><p>Kurt looks over to Blaine, checking in to see if Blaine is comfortable with Kurt sharing the truth about why they are here. Blaine’s expression is unreadable so he goes with something vague.</p><p>“No, Blaine got some good news today so we’re celebrating.”</p><p>Kurt feels a hand on his thigh again, but this time the squeeze is gentle, a silent ‘thank you.’ </p><p>Then his breath hitches because instead of retreating, the hand settles itself on his leg, the thumb occasionally stroking the stitching on his pants. Warmth pools through the fabric, or maybe it's something else because Kurt feels incredibly warm at the point of contact all of a sudden. He exchanges a secret smile with his boyfriend, who seems pleased about the reaction he is getting. Kurt blushes and then leans his head into Blaine’s shoulder, hiding his face for a moment and enjoying the closeness. </p><p>—</p><p>The back of the chair is hard against Vik’s back and the tag on his shirt itches to distraction. He told his mother several times to only buy him tagless shirts but this one was, “just too handsome” to pass up. <em> I’m never wearing this shirt again. I don’t care how much it cost. </em> His fingers trace the plastic edge of the chair until they find a rough edge and then he begins to pick at the plastic, pulling at the nick again and again.</p><p>“Questions?” Mr. Schuester’s loud voice breaks through Vik’s thoughts. <em> Oh no, I missed something. Should I ask? Ms. Sal always says to advocate for myself but I don’t want him to know I wasn’t listening. Someone else probably heard. I will ask Kurt after.  Kurt is nice. Kurt will help me. </em></p><p>Vik nods to himself, satisfied with his decision. </p><p>“So who wants to start us off on Tuesday with the first performance.” There is a long pause and then Mr. Scheuster laughs. “Don’t all volunteer at once!”</p><p>Vik feels confused. <em> But no one is volunteering. That doesn’t make sense. And why is he laughing? That was not funny.  </em></p><p>Vik ponders the teacher’s strange words. Perhaps this is an idiom he hasn’t learned yet. He knows a lot of them by now, thanks to his speech therapist. He does not like the way they do not mean what they should, but he understands now that it is just the way people talk and if he wants to understand them then he needs to learn these.</p><p><em> Could it be sarcasm? </em> He wonders. That is the newest thing his speech therapist has been teaching him. He didn’t even want to learn at first. “Sarcasm is mean,” he had told her. </p><p>“Not necessarily,” Ms. Zoll had explained. “Sarcasm just means the exact opposite of what the words say. Sometimes it is a friendly joke or it can even be a compliment.”</p><p>Vik thinks back to his last pullout session. He had been partnered with Suni and Ms. Zoll had drawn a chart on her white board to explain the steps to figuring out if something was sarcasm. There had been a box for them to write the words that were said and another to write the context in which they were said. If the two matched, the statement was likely sincere. If they didn’t match, the person was either being sarcastic or deceitful. <em> Mr. Schuester is a teacher. Teachers don’t lie. Therefore, it is sarcasm. So it means the opposite. That means “don’t all volunteer at once” must actually mean that Mr. Schuester wants someone to volunteer. Oh! I get it! </em></p><p>Vik feels victorious. Ms. Zoll is going to be so impressed when he tells her. </p><p>“Thank you, Mercedes,” Mr. Schuester says. Clearly Mercedes has volunteered while Vik was lost in thought. <em> I would have but I still don’t know what the directions are. </em></p><p>“That’s a wrap, ladies and gentlemen! Get home safe,” Mr. Schuester announces. Vik isn’t sure what ‘that’s a wrap’ means but he looks around and sees that everyone is packing up. He surmises it must mean ‘goodbye’ or something similar. He can ask his teacher tomorrow. </p><p>Unfortunately, in the few seconds it takes him to understand that glee club is over, Kurt has already disappeared out the door. Now he cannot ask Kurt. Vik glances around the room, wondering who would be a good person to ask. The longer he thinks, the more people leave. Soon just a few of the boys in letterman jackets remain. He begins to panic and turns to the first person he sees and yelps, “Wait!”</p><p>“What’s up, little man?” asks Noah Puckerman. At least he is smiling.</p><p>“Could you tell me what the assignment was, please? I did not hear.”</p><p>Puck blinks at him and Vik wonders if he has done something strange again. It is so hard to know.</p><p>“No problem, little man. Happens to me all the time. Mr. S wants us to sing a song with relatable lyrics, or some shit like that.”</p><p>“I do not understand.”</p><p>Puck’s face twists into a strange shape; one corner of his lip stays down but the other curls up. Vik isn’t sure what that means.</p><p>“Join the club.”</p><p>“I did.”</p><p>Puck laughs and looks impressed. “You’re funny, little man.”</p><p>“Am I?” he asks. <em> But I did not make a joke. </em></p><p>“Yeah, you’re kind of an odd duck but like… in a cool way. I dig it.”</p><p><em> What? I’m a duck? Now he is digging? </em>Vik is utterly lost as to what Puck is trying to say but the older boy is smiling and his tone sounds friendly so Vik decides it must have been a compliment.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“Well, you’re one of us now!”</p><p>“But what is relatable lyrics?” Vik presses, still waiting for an explanation.</p><p>“Oh, right! I think he wants us to pick a song that has lyrics we relate to, so like we feel like the words describe us or something that happened to us, you feel me?”</p><p>Vik starts to reach out his hand to feel Puck’s arm but then thinks better of it. <em> I’m being too literal again. </em></p><p>“So Kurt would sing about bullies?”</p><p>“Ye—wait what?”</p><p>“Kurt could sing a song about bullies because he gets bullied a lot.”</p><p>Puck looks over his shoulder to where the boys in red jackets are standing, all clustered around someone’s phone and snickering. “Mike, Sam, Finn! Get your asses over here, now!” Puck shouts.</p><p>The three boys exchange confused glances but walk over as asked. <em> I must not be getting it right. Maybe he needs them to help explain? But he sounds mad. Is he mad at me? </em></p><p>“What do you mean Kurt gets bullied a lot?” Puck asks, his voice deep and serious all of a sudden.</p><p>“Oh, well, Sarah saw Kurt and Blaine in the dumpster. Blaine said Trey is a bully and I see Trey talking to Kurt sometimes.”</p><p>Puck’s eyes bulge and his nostrils flare. He is angry.</p><p>“I want names. Who else?”</p><p>Vik thinks, trying to remember if Kurt or Blaine mentioned anyone else or if he has seen anyone else bothering them.</p><p>“I think...Eskimo?” Vik isn’t sure if the name is quite right but it is the best he can come up with.</p><p>“Eskimo?” Finn repeats, looking befuddled.</p><p>“Azimio, maybe?” Mike suggests. “Is that who you mean?”</p><p>Vik nods. </p><p>“Thanks for telling us, little man. You did good!” Puck claps him on the shoulder and Vik wriggles until the hand goes away. He does not like to be touched but he can see that Puck meant it in a friendly way. </p><p>“Thank you. Please do not touch me. I do not like it.” Advocating for himself is still important.</p><p>“Oh, sorry, little man. I didn’t know.” Puck gives him a smile and Vik wonders if maybe they will be friends.</p><p>—</p><p>“How was Glee today?” Blaine asks.</p><p>Kurt looks up from his laptop and sighs. “Pretty good, but Mr. Schuester gave us a new assignment and I’m having trouble picking a song. That’s actually what I’m working on right now, even though I should probably finish reading that chapter for U.S. History first.”</p><p>“Maybe I can help,” Blaine offers.</p><p>Kurt grins and pats the spot next to him on the bed. Blaine slides in next to him and Kurt shifts the laptop so it is balanced across both of their knees. It also means that Blaine is so close that Kurt can hear him breathing. They have been doing homework for the past hour and Kurt managed to stay focused but now that Blaine is inches away, that feels like a much bigger challenge.</p><p>He really does want help choosing a song, though.</p><p>Kurt swallows and starts showing Blaine a few options, playing him samples, hearing his thoughts on the lyrics. </p><p>“What’s that one?” Blaine asks, pointing at the final song on the list.</p><p>Kurt blushes. <em> This one is about us </em>.</p><p>Rather than explain, Kurt just starts the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDTD24KsdGc"> song </a>. He puts the laptop to the side, turning to face Blaine, watching his reaction.</p><p>If I could begin to be<br/>
Half of what you think of me<br/>
I could do about anything<br/>
I could even learn how to love</p><p>Blaine’s eyes grow wide. “Kurt is that… is that really how you feel?”</p><p>“Yes,” he whispers softly. “Sometimes.” </p><p>I always thought I might be bad<br/>
Now I'm sure that it's true<br/>
'Cause I think you're so good<br/>
And I'm nothing like you</p><p>Blaine grimaces. “Now that part sounds more like me.” </p><p>“Blaine, you aren’t bad! You are the best person I know!”</p><p>Look at you go<br/>
I just adore you<br/>
I wish that I knew<br/>
What makes you think I'm so special</p><p>“I still wonder that sometimes,” Kurt says, voice still hushed.</p><p>“Why I think you’re special?” Blaine asks, looking mystified.</p><p>Kurt nods.</p><p>“Kurt,” Blaine pleads softly. “I must be the worst boyfriend in the world if you don’t already know that.”</p><p>“What? No, Blaine, that’s not what I meant.”</p><p>“No, I’m serious. You should never doubt how special you are, how I see you. But maybe I never said, just assumed… that you <em> knew </em>.”</p><p>Blaine reaches across the divide between them and grasps Kurt’s hands. “You are special because you <em> see </em> me Kurt. I spent years trying to be invisible, trying to hide, but you <em> saw </em> me even then. And you didn’t see a troublemaker or a jerk. You saw <em> me </em> . You are special because you don’t care about the rules, you just care about what’s right, about what people need. There’s a million things we had to do differently because of how I am but you just… accepted it… so easily, Kurt, I never could have imagined how easy it could be until you. I was terrified to date anyone because who would want to put up with all of my shit but you… with you it was as easy as breathing. I just had to tell you what I felt or what I needed and you just… accepted it. You really don’t know how special that is? Because it’s incredibly special. <em> You </em> are incredibly special. And that isn’t even counting your ripped-from-the-pages-of-vogue sense of fashion or how kind you are to your friends or how amazingly talented of a singer you are, Kurt. When I look at you, Kurt, that is what I see.”</p><p>Kurt feels strangely fragile, like his heart might crack open at any moment. And there is Blaine looking at him so earnestly, eyes so soft, begging him to believe him and so he <em> does. </em> How could he not? It’s <em> Blaine </em>. </p><p>It’s <em> Blaine </em> who sees him like no one ever has. Who feels seen by him like no one ever has. Who loves him so fiercely and without question. Who he loves just as fiercely in return.</p><p>Then the laptop is forgotten because Kurt is climbing into Blaine’s lap and sliding his arms around his neck. Blaine <em> moans </em> and the spark he felt before, when their knees pressed together, has burst into flame. He wants to be close to Blaine so badly that he feels it as an ache in his chest, an ache of longing even though Blaine is right here. </p><p>Their lips press together and Kurt feels his whole body melt against Blaine. Blaine’s hands slide up under the back of his shirt and nothing has ever felt this good on his skin before. Kurt is in heaven.</p><p>Kurt is in love.</p><p>—</p><p>Kurt is walking hand in hand with Blaine down the main hallway of McKinley when he hears the telltale shouting.</p><p>“Fight!”</p><p>“Oooh, fight!”</p><p>Some of their classmates start to wander outside to watch.</p><p>He turns to Blaine and they share a look of superiority and judgement. They will not follow the crowds. They are better than this. </p><p>“Kurt!” Rachel is calling his name, running frantically towards them. “You need to come. Please!”</p><p>He shares worried and confused looks with Blaine but Rachel has already taken off towards one of the side doors leading to the parking lot and the track behind the school. </p><p>“We should probably go see,” Blaine finally says.</p><p>Kurt squeezes his hand a little tighter, not wanting to be separated. His heart rate picks up.</p><p>The crowd has grown large enough that the boys have to elbow their way through in order to see what is going on.</p><p>Puck is yelling. “You think you can come for one of <em> mine </em> and not face the consequences?”</p><p>“You come for one of us, you come for all of us,” Mike adds.</p><p>Kurt has trouble believing that Mike is fighting; he has never seen him involved in anything like this before. He feels more confused than ever. Who are they talking about? He looks around until he finds Rachel and drags Blaine over to where she is standing, arms folded nervously across her chest.</p><p>“What are they doing?” Kurt asks, raising his voice to be heard over the crowd.</p><p>“Standing up for <em> you </em>!” Rachel exclaims.</p><p>“For… for me?” he asks in disbelief. </p><p>He gapes as Puck, Finn, Mike, and Sam all stand there… for him. </p><p>“Little bitch was asking for it… spreading his fairy dust all over the place,” Azimio growls.</p><p>“Yeah, and those homos fucked up my thing with Sarah,” Trey adds. </p><p>“Call them homos one more time, I dare you,” Puck spits back.</p><p>Emotions swirl in Kurt’s chest. He is incredibly touched beyond belief that these boys he sings with two days a week but hardly speaks to care this much. He also doesn’t want anyone to get hurt, especially not on his behalf. He is so caught up that he doesn’t register that Blaine is no longer beside him.</p><p>“We fucked up your thing with Sarah?” Blaine shouts, hands balled into fists by his sides.</p><p>A low “ooooh” ripples through the audience.</p><p>“You sick fuck, Sarah doesn’t want to date you. She barely understands what dating is and she definitely isn’t emotionally ready for sex, which I know is all you wanted from her. She’s vulnerable and you wanted to take advantage of her. Of course, I got in the way.”</p><p>The glee boys all look furious. Kurt can see from the tension in every muscle of his body that Puck is one word away from turning the battle from verbal to physical.</p><p>Kurt leaps forward and grabs onto Blaine’s arm, pulling at him to step back. “Please, don’t fight, Blaine. I don’t want this.” He turns then to the others. “All of you, thank you, really it...it means the world to me that you want to do this but stop, just stop, please! How are you any better than them if you fight the bullies? I don’t want them thrown in the dumpster like I was. I just want it to stop. I just want everyone to be safe at school, is that too much to ask?”</p><p>“Azimio? Trey? Is that true? Did you throw these nice boys in the dumpster? With the <em> garbage </em>!” </p><p>The crowd of students whirl around to see who is talking. It is the football coach.</p><p>Azimio and Trey quickly jump to deny it but suddenly other voices are breaking in.</p><p>“They did! I saw them do it!”</p><p>“They threw me in too!”</p><p>“No one ever does anything to stop them!”</p><p>“It’s not right.”</p><p>“They throw that Kurt kid in like once a week.”</p><p>Coach Beiste’s eyes flash and she regards them with quiet fury. </p><p>“I think I’ve heard enough. Trey? Azimio? Please come with me to the principal’s office.”</p><p>“But coach!”</p><p>“But nothing! School discipline aside, you both signed a code of conduct when you joined the sports teams that has been flagrantly disobeyed. You better hope suspension from track and football are the <em> least </em> you have to worry about.”</p><p>“Suspension! But we have a meet this weekend, coach you <em> can’t </em>!” Trey pleads.</p><p>“Principal! Now!” she bellows. “The rest of you, break it up! Back to class.”</p><p>Trey and Azimio cower and then follow her in silence back to the building.</p><p>“Kurt? Are you okay?” Rachel asks. Blaine and her are both regarding him with concern.</p><p>“I…” he reaches a hand to his face and with surprise, realizes that he has been crying. Emotion courses through him, his brain finally catching up to his body, and suddenly the tears are streaming down his face.</p><p>Rachel’s face pinches with concern but Blaine wordlessly folds Kurt into his arms, softly stroking his hair and letting him just let go. Kurt does, knowing that he is in the safest place in the world.</p><p>Kurt hears Rachel questioning Blaine. “Why is he crying? Is he hurt?”</p><p>“No, I think he’s just releasing a lot of pent up stress from all of this. He’s… this is a burden he has carried for so long that having it suddenly ripped away, as good as that might feel...I think it is just <em> a lot </em> to process.”</p><p>Kurt tightens his hold on Blaine, amazed at how well his boyfriend knows him, heart full of gratitude for finding someone like him. Face still buried in Blaine’s chest, Kurt nods to let Blaine know that he’s gotten it right.</p><p>An unfamiliar hand pats his shoulder; Kurt knows it isn’t Blaine’s. He knows the feel of Blaine too well by now; the size and shape of him, the weight and warmth of him, the way he moves, the way he touches Kurt. This isn’t Blaine.</p><p>“Let us know if they mess with you again, Kurt, okay?” The voice is soft, gentle even. It’s Mike.</p><p>Kurt extricates himself from the safety of Blaine’s arms and turns to face him, this boy he’s barely spoken to.</p><p>“I… I didn’t know you cared,” he whispers. “I didn’t know any of you cared.”</p><p>Mike cocks his head to the side, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “Of course we care, Kurt. You’re one of us. You’re our friend, right?”</p><p>He says it as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. Perhaps it is. To Kurt this revelation shakes the very ground he stands upon, his entire world view. For so long he was the boy with one friend, a nobody, a loser. He still is, on the whole of things. But he has friends. They may be friends in low places, but he isn’t alone. He has more friends than he ever knew, if only he had looked around and seen them.</p><p>Kurt claps Mike on the shoulder. “Right.”</p><p>—</p><p>The next day at school, Rachel finds him and Blaine at his locker and Kurt experiences déjà vu as she insists that he follow her outside.</p><p>“Please tell me no one is fighting this time, Rach,” Kurt pleads.</p><p>“Just look. You have to see.”</p><p>Kurt lets out a huff of exasperation at her lack of information but he follows her just the same. He looks to Blaine but his boyfriend shrugs, apparently as in the dark as he is.</p><p>“Kurt, look!” Rachel repeats, pointing to the dumpster.</p><p>At first, Kurt has no idea what has her so worked up. It’s a dumpster. He knows all too well what it looks like. So what? But then… he looks closer and he sees it. Sometime in the night someone has made a small but powerful addition to the dumpster in which he had spent so many unpleasant moments.</p><p>There, new metal glinting in the sunlight, is an industrial sized padlock. Kurt walks closer and tries to open the lid, needing to see for himself. He can get barely an inch of space to open up between the lid and the walls of the dumpster. He circles the metal box, trying it from different angles, but the result is the same.</p><p>“Holy shit, they locked the dumpster. Blaine!” he shouts, even though Blaine can obviously see for himself. “Blaine, they locked the dumpster, oh my god, they locked the dumpster!”</p><p>Rachel beams at him. “No one is ever getting thrown in this dumpster again,” she declares proudly. She reaches for their hands and together the three of them jump gleefully up and down, squealing with happiness.</p><p>“There’s just one problem,” says Blaine with a frown.</p><p>“What?” Kurt asks. What could possibly be bad about this?</p><p>“Well, it’s just...where am I going to take you for our anniversary?”</p><p>
  <em> Fin. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <h3>Thank yous</h3><p>A dumpster sized thank you to my two beta readers <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhlaine/works">Kuhlaine</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/works">Blurglesmurfklaine</a> for all of the corrections, suggestions, problem solving, and cheerleading. I lost each of you once during this process and both time it was a blow because I appreciate each of you so very much. Thank you for all of the time and care you gave to this story.</p><p>Thank you to all of YOU for reading this story! I have been blown away by the positive reception I have gotten to this story that started off as a rather silly idea about two boys meeting in a dumpster and grew into this very sweet story. Thank you for embracing this version of Blaine and through him, empathizing with a life experience most of you had never been through. Your comments filled me with joy and sometimes even inspired new trains of thought that became scenes in the story.</p><h3>Various &amp; Sundry</h3><p><strong>DSM-IV</strong> The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is published by the American Psychiatric Association and it is used to classify and diagnose a wide variety of conditions involving the brain. The fifth edition was published in 2013, so for accuracy I used the code from the fourth edition in Blaine's letter (me going down very selective research rabbit holes, what else is new?). The World Health Organization (WHO) also publishes the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), which is used very similarly. I mostly threw that in there to make the letter a bit more technical and also build suspense for a moment before the result is revealed. I did select accommodations that would be appropriate for Blaine's diagnosis and those are actual accommodations the College Board offers, which I'm familiar with from work. I also did some cursory research on their website.</p><p>
  <strong>Music</strong>
</p><p>Love Like You - Rebecca Sugar (as featured on Steven Universe)</p><p>Thank you to Aly for sending me an arrangement someone had done of this song as a duet because it became my muse as I was writing this last chapter. I highly recommend listening to the song in full so you can appreciate the complete lyrics as well as the melody, which is beautiful. I had not listened to this song in years but hearing it in the context of this story really made it hit me in a totally new way and it has been going through my head for weeks as I've been working on this final chapter. </p><p>I even got emotional listening to the song and thinking about this story that I made my own little piece of fanart about it (see below).</p><p>Feel free to come say "hi" on <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p><p><strong>Coming Up Next:</strong> Stay tuned for my next project and subscribe to me as an author if you want to be sure not to miss it! I don't want to commit to what the next project will be but I have a few stories I've partially written (but put aside to focus on this one until it was done). It may very well be another story that explores learning disabilities in a different way. I half-convinced myself I had to pick one or the other of them to write but I keep reminding myself that when I read a story I like, the best possible feeling is seeing that they have written something else very similar.</p><p> </p><p>  </p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Announcing: Friends in Low Places the podfic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Announcement that I am creating a podfic version of this story. First two chapters are already up. Head to Chapter 1 of this work to listen.</p>
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    <p>Hello Readers!</p><p>I apologize for my abuse of the chapter update function but I have an important announcement.</p><p>I am in the process of <strong>creating a podfic</strong> of this story to increase the accessibility of this work. In light of the themes of this story, it felt especially important to create an accessible version. The reason you didn't get a new work alert from me is that I've chosen to keep both versions of the story in one place, so the podfic audio is at the beginning of the chapters on this work. The first two chapters are already up so if you are interested head over to Chapter 1 and take a listen. </p><p>The best way to stay in the loop about new chapters of the podfic is to check my <a href="https://esperantoauthor.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a>. I'll pin whatever the latest update is to the top of my blog so it will be easy to see if anything new has been added. If anyone wants to be updated by email about new chapters, I'm also happy to do that! DM me on tumblr with your email or put it in the comments on this chapter. I'm also happy to tag people when I post updates so if you'd like me to do that, just reach out on tumblr.</p><p>Please try <strong>not</strong> to leave lovely nice comments on this chapter so I can delete it in a couple weeks! The last time I posted an announcement chapter, people left their comments on the story there so I never took it down like I intended because I treasure those comments way too much.</p><p>~Esperanto</p>
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